Consistency in Group Mods Needed

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Love this post @RocketsMom :) I definitely agree about this because I've been on the receiving end of the "That mod is better than you" statement as well. It's just that it can be quite disheartening and makes me not want to give out warnings. I always end up asking, am I doing wrong by following the rules? Sometimes, a worse thing is that a lot of listeners are the ones who make comments like that and forget to be professional.

Regarding this, I was thinking maybe we should have a tiny post where we describe each rule and what it really means. This would perhaps create a better image of why a warning is issued. Maybe we can work on something like this? This should be available in the public forum so everyone can see it :) Thoughts?

Great Post Rocketsmom. Firstly I would like to thank you for bringing up a common issue that we all face while moderating the chat rooms in the post for people to share their comments.

We as a moderator must welcome everyone, help them participate in groups and support them throughout their journey with 7C in the member chat rooms, but we also have the role to play to ensure that rules are being followed to make sure that the chat rooms provide a friendly, positive and healthy environment for all.

While the issues caused in chat rooms maybe because of a lot of reasons like problems in personal life, need for venting out the emotions, or to gain attention in order to overcome the feeling of loneliness, we have to consider the fact that we are in a position to prioritize the need of an individual to the needs of the room.

We cannot engage in conflicts in the room, but can offer to talk to the member on a 1-1 basis, if they have some problems that needs to be discussed. However we cannot ignore the rules in favor of any person or persons just because they are going through some problems in their personal life.

The problem arises when the limitations and boundaries are blurred, this is an emotional support site, light hearted chat doesnt mean it can be turned into a chat site. The nature of this site, the nature of the information that is dealt in this site should be respected. Sharing of personal information in chat rooms breaks the anonymity barrier which is there to protect the members/guests. If someone goes against that rule, then it is very clear that as a moderator we have to enforce the rules.

If the warnings are a bit more explanatory in nature, like a bit personalized explanation of the rules of the chat room, it will be a lot effective. It might reduce member/guest arguments. General verbal warning which is not aimed at any particular individual but the group as a whole can help to untangle certain situations.

The topic of favorite mods is very subjective. While a person can be liked as a moderator because of their personality/if they are supportive/approachable, the favoritism shouldnt be formed on basis of whether or not they let you break or bypass rules. I have seen lots of moderators warn verbally a lot. While one or two verbal warnings is good if it can stop the further conflict and maintain the peace of the room, it shouldnt become a pattern. We should be clear to enforce boundaries and avoid personal friendships interfering with our decisions.

I would request all the moderators to consider the fact that if one of us isnt strict about rules to be followed, the anger and frustration of the members turns towards the one who follows the rules very sincerely. This is one big reason for hostility in the member rooms. If we are all consistent, then they would have to come in terms with the rules and it will go a long way to ensure a healthy moderation.

I am all for ‘ Mod Unity :)

Great post @Rocketsmom - I love how you are using the forums so that we can have ongoing discussions around these issues and also to engage as many people as possible who can help us problem solve. You dont have to be a moderator to come up with ideas and suggestions on how we might be able to tackle this!

I dont spend a great deal of time in Group Support anymore but I think that we have similar issues on the Listener side regarding consistency when moderating the listener chatrooms. It certainly is a challenge to get this right as each moderator has their own style and personality but youre right that it is ever so important that we all interpret the rules the same way and that we are consistent when giving warnings and enforcing the rules.

I approach most chatroom problems, especially around issues of consistency, with the view that good communication goes a long way. As moderators we are all one team working towards the same goal - that being to uphold the mission and values of 7cups. If done professionally and with respect there is no harm in PMing another moderator and saying you felt that a situation could have been handled in another way, or perhaps offering a suggestion about how you would have dealt with it. It might be that another moderator is active in a room, and you happen to be lurking or you switch rooms and see some behavior you think is report worthy but seems to be going unaddressed – in this case it is perfectly okay to PM the active moderator and offer your support, perhaps suggesting that they need to be enforcing the rules more rigidly. Or you can even offer to come in and be their wingman to support them, or offer to take over if they happen to have done a long shift. If you are polite and professional about it, then feedback should be well received especially if you are offering to help. If there is a situation that could be interpreted in different ways, and theres a chance that moderators would differ in their opinion on how to deal with it, its worth noting what that issue is and discussing it as a group in the next Group Mod meeting. We do something similar for the listener chatrooms in our chatroom track meetings, where we discuss specific examples (without mentioning any names) and tackle head on how we would all deal with them so that we can come to a decision about how best to approach them and be consistent in that approach.

My next point is to not be afraid to report moderators if you feel that their behavior is hurtful or harmful to the community. If the behavior is vindictive or malicious or something similar I would definitely report it right away. If it is perhaps a training issue, I would, as an experienced moderator, offer that person my support and help to get them up to speed on the specific parts of the job they might be struggling with - offering advice and support in a coaching capacity is far better in this situation that reporting someone who just needs a little more training.

I also want to mention the topic of mutual responsibility which @Laura has already written about in this post. Mutual responsibility means that it is not one specific persons (or group of peoples) job to keep the entire neighborhood free from bad behavior, it is everyones. Every listener who enters group support is responsible for upholding the mission and values of 7cups, for helping to enforce the chatroom rules and for upholding the guidelines so that the rooms remain supportive and inclusive. Furthermore, listeners who are unsupportive and who abuse moderators should be reported right away. Moderators work extremely hard in group support and they should be supported in the best way possible. So, if as a listener you feel that you cannot conduct yourself appropriately in group support then its best that you don't go there. If you are a moderator and you see listeners behaving inappropriately, I would PM them and give them a chance to correct their behavior, if nothing changes and they continue to be disruptive then I encourage you to report them via this L-L report form so that this can be addressed.

Lastly thank you to all the Group Support Mods who work so tirelessly to keep our group support rooms a safe and supportive place. Yes, there will always be new and existing issues to problem-solve but I have so much respect for you, and you all do an amazing job, as do the many experienced listeners who go in there and assist in those rooms too

Very very well said Rockets! excellent points were made there and I cannot agree more. I hope some changes are made to the moderators that do need help and those that are great are rewarded :)

Awesome, thank you so much for this! I've saved some messages similar to yours to use myself, and I think this is really going to make things a whole lot better. Great initiative! Love it! Thank you, again!