Group Mods: Brainstorm!
Hello, everyone!
Recently, as I'm sure you've noticed, we've had an upsurge in the number of people seeming to come to the 7Cups group support rooms for things other than support. I've seen people go off-site, abuse others (in addition to abusing mods), bully, triangulate, and blatantly ignore rules, even going as far as to deliberately break rules because others are breaking them or because a mod is present.
I'm sure that's not all, though. So I'm making this thread to invite you all to contribute to the topic!
What are some things you've seen happen in group rooms recently? Are these specific to certain rooms? What are some things you've picked up, and how do you think we can resolve these issues?
Mod talk
During a conflict recently, I was accused of using 'mod talk'. It made me review what I said - and much to my dismay, I realised that I do talk in a different way on-site. That has influenced me in real life, and that means how I type is kind of how I speak, but even so, I found that I agreed, and that I do tend to speak a certain way (perhaps influenced by trying to be professional?) while modding and listening.
When I tried to engage with people more and talk more like them, trying to loosen up while still being mindful of the rules and moderating the room, I felt that the talking went a lot more smoothly! So that's something I'm going to try more often.
@Imogene
HI Imogene I really appreciate you sharing even tho it's a reflection of self. I am in aggreement with you on this tho. It's not the rules @Kate @Laura and @Jill7cups process and try here, it is us "the mod" 
That is not bad either. I found awhile ago that sometimes I can talk with to much emotions, or to bluntly. We all find our way that works AND keep focused of the rules. No matter what you you are modding-and yes some rooms are harder try these:
- Being kind no matter the situation
- Be consistant
- Teens like to be reated as people not like little kids-hear them respect them. That is their side so they lead
- Be professional. You can still act silly and blend in along with being professional
- Communicate with your Room Supporters. Include them in on some Pop-Ups are some thing to distract the room
- Do the screenshots and reports.
- Talk to Kate on some ideas to try
- Attend some of the mod meetings and trainings. They are very helpful
- Do not have behavior's like the rooms to feel blended in
- Boundaries
- Have fun with it. Modding should not be stressful and make you not want to do it
- Reach out to other mods and learn together
I feel and see many mods choose to be on their own. And that is fine. But we are a team
@RumpleSteeleSkin well said!! <3
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I love these ideas and the focus on mods as a team! Thank you so much for sharing your tips, I'll keep them in mind.
@Imogene thissssss yessss
hehe it's always been important to me to fit into the culture of the room - we're not enforcing law, we're there to make sure everyone is safe. So I try to be mindful of using the same language that I use on the internet elsewhere!
Another thing that I've found useful while modding is understanding why people break rules, and also understanding why they shouldn't. That can allow us to empathise and also explain properly why those rules exist ^-^
@PhoenixAsh
That's a great thing to keep in mind! I agree that knowing why people dislike rules is important and am actually thinking of making a series of threads where we can discuss the rules - will keep thinking if that's a good idea and talk to people about it. Thank you for your input, Karina; I've noticed members seem at ease with you and I really appreciate the insight!
@PhoenixAsh
Ash really do like what you shared tankos❤
@Imogene
Some of the issues in the rooms I hang in is a lot of folks are coming from other rooms and then interupt the flow of the room. I do know sometimes we are talking about like 5 different conversations sometimes which is fine but the new folks (folks that aren't normally in the room) that enter the room are trying to start things up that should be addressed 1;1 and not in a room. I know most of us Listeners in the room also ask them if they would like to chat 1;1 and we have had to do more Modding lately and a whole lot more verbal warnings with these folks also.
In 35+ some of the things we are trying to resolve some of the stuff is more discussions, open chats and pop ups. The Mods are also hanging out more in the room and we have members sending us 1;1 messages if we aren't in there to have us join in the room to help and if we are available we go in the room to resolve issues. I know the Room Supporters are trying to help also. Recruiting - if folks have ideas on how to get more folks invoved that would be great since I already post in Help Wanted and a forum posting in 35+ also.
@DanaMH
It sounds like you've noted some problems and are working on them, that's great! Good luck with it, I'm sure you're all doing very well. It's definitely important to have more support in the rooms and it sounds like you really have a team network which is awesome! Thank you for the tips!
@Imogene I think this has been going on for Quite awhile now! I'll admit outside my discussions I haven't been modding To much recently.. But A room supporter had come to me for assistance as a room had gotten so out of control they were breaking down and needed help.. Anyways upon entering the room I said my usual, "Hey guys, is everything going alright " (I find thats the best way to approach it) And was immeditally met with "eww a mod" "Meghan no one likes you", etc etc.. And rude comments bashing the room supporter for seeking assistance and demeaning them terribly.. It has honestly gotten quite out of hand.. But, I will say when modding you'll meet alot of people, alot of personalities.. some good.. some.. lets just say routy lol.. I do think its a role/position where you have to earn respect from those routy members, and handle situations in a calm, professional manner while showing You are in charge.. A concearn i've had is that with this inflow of routy members, being as room supporters (as far as I believe) Don't have mod rights as far as warning/muting (aside from of course being able to send out verbal warnings) Are they more prone to abuse form these members if a situation does get out of hand?
@MissMeghan
Hi, Meghan! Thanks so much for joining in. To my knowledge a lot of the room supporters are confused about their role and that's why they get a lot of abuse from the members in the chat - I'm not saying it's warranted, though. It's just that room supporters think that they are there to mod the room and it's not actually that, they're just there to provide active listening and mediate conflict but not explicitly in the way a mod does, if that makes any sense?
I think your approach is really good and I'm so sorry to hear that members have abused you! You're right, there are rowdy members and it's important to try and be professional and empathetic when dealing with them.
@Imogene Ah, I see! And yep that makes perfect sense.. Hopefully as time goes on they can get a better idea of the role.. I understand as with it being newer it could be confusing as to.. what to or not to do in situations. I dream of a 7 Cups where the support rooms are constantly a supportive place, I know though that working together we can tackle this!
@Imogene
I have seen disrespect towards mods, those sticking up for mods and others in the room. I would love to attend a meeting on how to make the teen side safer for our members because I am a new teen listener and have noticed that they do not like adult listeners in the rooms.
@pamharley003
Hi Pam. Teens normally do not have issues with adult listeners. Try and get to know them. Maybe do a fun ice breaker.
When I first had access to teen side, I learned lurking a room for awhile I learned more of the atmosphere of a room. Also watched other listener/mods interact with the teens. I do not have issues in no teen rooms or even TL.
@pamharley003
Agreed on the disrespect, but that people would treat you differently as an adult listener surprises me! As a teen, I'm not entirely sure what's making it different, but if you'd like, I'm happy to mod squad with you and we can try and find out what's going on?
@Imogene
I would like to see if You may be seeing something I am not. I also would like to apply for being a mod there and help the teams as a family
@pamharley003
Sure, how would you propose we do that?
