My really bad choice I made in early recovery
I messed up. I am eight months in recovery. I was homeless and on fentynal and meth for 5 years. Stealing to support my habbits. Anyways. I went to detox and in patient and my in patient was coed. There was a girl I was attracted to there and instead of trying to hook up with her at treatment I knew that was a bad idea and set alot of healthy boundaries with her and let her know I was not there for that. She is a meth and sex addict that's like the last thing I needed at that point in my life. So I graduate my in patient and get into a clean and sober house. My stupid *** maintained contact with her. So I get a job that I love and am good at and have been promoted in. I got a car. Paying my rent and saving money to move into my own place n September. I'm doing great and I'm feeling on top of the world about it. Going to 12 step meetings that I really don't like because it's part of my sober house but whatever. 10 house mates I don't connect with so I just go to work and come home and mind my business 😌. So thr entire time I have been in this sober house I have been talking to this girl intimately the entire time. She is 50 miles away. So like 2 weeks ago I decide I'm going to go get a room for the weekend and visit this girl. We hang out and hook up. I get back home and we face time the first night I'm back. The next few days she will only text and the next day she ghosts me saying she is sorry for neglecting our friendship she is dealing with her program stuff and completely ghosts me. She just leaves my messages on read so I quit texting her and there's like no communication at all at this point. It triggers my depression. And this sucks at this point because now I have nobody to talk to. And it's very stressful for me and I was not ready for this kind of stress. I miss her and feel hurt and betrayed and like i know it's not a big deal but I also know I was not ready for this level of rejection and the emotions it's putting me through this early in my recovery. I usually just get high and it's not an option anymore. So idk sucks for me I made my bed and I knew better from the start. I just did not anticipate this when I should have. Sucks. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this so I'm on here so any feedback would be nice.
@blueHouse1342
I do not think you should beat yourself up over this... when someone does something that may not have been the best or brightest choice the first thing is to realize your mistake and own it... you have done that .. now accept it make note to try not to act on things you feel may not be your best move... and learn from it. It sounds like you are doing really well and I know it is a lonely road often is in the midst of personal growth.
As this was a 2 person thing maybe she is rethinking why she did this... maybe when she comes to acceptance and evaluates her position she may or may not reach out... She may not have been in the same place as you in her recovery ...and as a former sex addict this may feel like a relapse and she needs to figure that out ... is this a relationship and you are a person she wants in her life or a hook up.
Thank you this is good advice. I'm kinda getting over it and I realize I didint do anything wrong and she is probably dealing with herself right now. Not like I didint know better.
