Sharing Circle - 24/7 and a New Initiative!
Hi, everyone! Earlier this year, we launched a new group support initiative called the Sharing Circle, which is a guided support session for members to safely vent and share in a queue-based setting. We conduct Sharing Circles in the tradition of other support groups like Alcohol Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous. These groups have helped millions of people, and we wanted to offer something similar to our community. So far, its been very successful, which is why we continue to add more circles. Each circle runs an hour, and they are led by one to two hosts.
One thing thats unique about Sharing Circles is that they are constructed so anyone can lead them! The formula for running them is easy, and the script is simple so that if no host is around, anyone can take the lead and carry the circle. Support groups like AA/OA do exactly this, so that no circle is canceled, and no one is without a space to share. Sharing Circles belong to everyone. Its our collective responsibility to look out for each other.
We currently have 8 sessions running daily. Our goal is to reach 24/7 coverage--thats one each hour on the hour--so that no matter what time it is, you (members) have a place to go and be seen and heard. Note: we are only doing 24/7 on the adult side for now. If this is successful, we will consider this initiative for the teen side eventually.
Up until now, our greatest challenge in reaching our goal is coverage, and as hard as were working to scale leadership, we cant guarantee consistency in volunteer hosts.
So, we are going to experiment with doing something different in the Sharing Circles by allowing anyone to host in the absence of a host.
What about our current hosts?
If you are signed up to host circles at specified times, you will continue to do so!
If you are not a host, but you would like to be, and you are interested in specific time slots you can commit to, please apply for joining the team!
Will comm mods keep leading?
Our community mod team spearheaded the launch of the SC initiative, and they have acted as hosts in the absence of a volunteer. But hosting circles while on shift is incredibly demanding and it takes away from the other important things our comm mods do, especially where it concerns safety. Now that anyone is capable of leading a circle, we want our comm mods to be able to focus on moderation and keeping our rooms supportive.
If there is no host and no one has signed up to lead a session, the comm mod will ask for a volunteer to pitch in and help out. The guide and script will be made public, and will be provided!
What is the incentive for volunteering?
If you step up and successfully host 20 SCs, you will receive a badge (called Sharing Circle backup) and cheers per completed session.
Please see a community moderator on shift, or our Sharing Circle STLs (team leads) @CheeryMango and @CheerfulRose with questions about how to join the team.
We look forward to having your support to keep our circles running strong!
2 New Sessions
Also, we announce two new sessions starting August 10' 2020. The new session timings will be 2.00 AM & 2.00 PM Eastern Time. We look forward to having you. Keep coming back and sharing!!
So :
1) quantity over quality
2) less moderation in them or not at all, so it will be a mess, already it was rare the rules was followed, we were always interrupted
3) anyone can lead no matter what even those who are not a good fit for the role
4) 24/7 so it will replace and kill all the other discussions and support sessions
@TortueDesBois
Hii Tortue!
I think their main aim is to build a culture in the room where it's an undivided space for individual attention to each member during their share time. It is true that there are often users who can be disruptive to the environment and i guess that's why we have community mods just one call away. I do see where you're coming from when you say that it can be messy because someone newbies come in and they're not aware of the rules or don't follow them in a very strict manner but i guess that's the problem with being online on a community of so many people. There's always going to be someone new and hopefully they'll learn in a session or two! It's not fun being interrupted for sure but i guess we have to make small adjustments based on our situation and what's available to us.
About your point number 3, it's again about the pattern or culture they're trying to create where it doesn't have to be one host taking the responsibility and maybe not even word to word of the script, just everyone can sit in like a group, maintain the queue and share when their turn comes. I guess it will in a way mean that it's less structured but hopefully the cause and aim of the session remains intact. Let's see how the trial period goes!
I do see how it's looking like quality over quantity and that might end up being true but hopefully the fact that it'll go on all day long, the sessions will be able to provide support to more members than ever. There's usually always someone that comes on towards the end of a circle wishing that it wasn't the end.
I fully agree with your 4th point. It might take away participation from other sessions that happen in different rooms.
@Candence I joined exactly 20 sharing circles. I was interupted in 16 of them!!! And many of them was moderated. Just think! What will it be if anyone can lead and no mod actively monitoring the room? Mods on call, the time you fill the form and they come, your share time is over anyway.
@TortueDesBois I hear you and that's exactly what i was trying to address too when i said that there's always going to be newbies and there's always going to be people who interrupt us but what's the solution to that?
Do we ask mods to delete all of those messages? - Then it might feel very unwelcoming and not the most supportive environment overall because so many people just don't know what the rules are. I guess in an ideal world, i'd like a pop up to show before entering the sharing circle room like "These are our rules, please read them, please be mindful not to interrupt in case someone is sharing and say hi once the share is over" but can we get that? i'm not sure but that i belive would make it a lot better.
Until then, I just try to ignore any interruptions because usually i just try to focus and aim at saying my part, focusing on the acknowledging comments and not paying mind to the interruptions because i believe that's a small adjustment i need to make on an online platform that's trying to recreate something that happens in person and where every participant is well versed with the guidelines.
On the same topic I have noticed users who are well experienced and know exactly how sharing circles work but they still choose to disregard the rules. Some people just enter and send stars without even waiting to check if someone is sharing and then they apologize. Now it would be okay if it was just once but it happens all the time and it gets really annoying. What can be done about these people? What actions can mods take for them? I have this question.
@Candence on other chat plateforms, like IRC, there is a way to mute everyone except the one who is given voice, and the moderators, so when its someone turn, we voice them and when their turn is over, we devoice them. but i am aware its a totally different system than here and would be trouble to do something similar here.
I would say then maybe not delete all the messages, mainly if someone is just saying "hi", but yes, if the comments that are judgemental, invalidating feelings or questions should all be deleted immediately, if someone is turning the chat about themselves also. i think it should be stricter, delete without but without warning (or a new warning that doesnt count in the 3 usual warnings and which explain how sharing circles work for newbies)
@TortueDesBois
I agree with that for sure! There shouldn't be a space for people being invalidating or judgemental. That's just not right irrespective of the room or session so maybe yes, a bit stricter moderation when it comes to that for sure.
@TortueDesBois these are some hard hitting questions, which I'm also concerned about . I hope 7 cups group support system is not turning to sharing circles only ❤️ but @Candence is also right . tbh 30 mins pop up discussions and 24/7 sharing circles will definitely affect participation from our other rooms 🙁
@comfortableEyes5 the popups discussions are allowed only when there is no other discussion in any room, so they are not allowed when there is a scheduled discussion on the calendar or when there is a sharing circle. If sharing circles are 24/4, then forget the popups discussions at all. Those will disappear as well as regular discussions and support sessions
@TortueDesBois I totally agree with your point 1,3 and 4. I'm not so sure about how this will work or how successful it would be considering there's already a little less participation in some hours and 24/7 would just have some hours where it might just become very inactive.
However, I'm willing to see how it works out during the trial period. Maybe the flaws and benefits could be pointed out during that time.
@Heather225 It is good that sharing circle is for 24/7 now. As a host, I will try my best to lead supportively.😊
@Heather225
Lovely idea. I wish the Sharing Circles origin, which is from indiginous peoples, could be shared.
The following quote is cited below. There is a powerful basis from history of peoples using sharing circles.
"Sharing circles are an essential part of the oral tradition of Aboriginal communities. The Traditional Native Feather Wand or Talking Stick is used in these circles when meetings take place and when decisions have to be made. We learn information about our culture through our Elders, families, friends, and other community members who share stories about what their lives were like, why we do things certain ways and to seek the wisdom of their experiences.
"A Talking Stick is a are very special tool that give us the courage to speak the truth and the power to speak from the heart. It is a symbol of respect for the thought, stories, and individual histories of each member participating in a circle.
When a person is holding the item in a sharing circle, they speak from the heart without interruption. Other people in the circle respectfully listen to the speaker and take in their message. Everyone in the circle gets a chance to hold the T alking Stick and share their thoughts and feelings. If the receiver chooses not to speak, he or she respectfully hands it to the next person until the item has been passed to everyone participating.
Creating ones own Talking Stick by including aspects that are special to you such as special colours, specific bird feathers, beads, and souvenirs from a trip such as seashells becomes a powerful tool that helps give one the courage to share openly. Opportunities to receive the teachings and instructions to create ones own Talking Stick are attached.
The following instructions on conducting a sharing circle are meant as a guide to help you along the way to better communication with All of Our Relations. It is recommended that sharing circles become a large part of your daily practice both at home and in the classroom.
Instructions for Conducting a Sharing Circle Required Materials
One Talking Stick to pass around the circle.
Enough space to sit or stand in a circle formation.
Instructions
• Participants are sitting on chairs, on the floor, or standing in a circle. Explain that in a good circle, everyone can see into one anothers eyes by just turning their own head to the right and left. Have them adjust accordingly. (Move in to make the circle smaller or out to make it bigger.)
• Explain that the circle is a very important structure in Aboriginal cultures and world views. In a circle everyone is equal, as well as interconnected. This ‘coming together in unity builds a strong sense of ‘community. Sharing, communication and decision making are facilitated well in a circle.
• Show the Talking Stick and explain that it will be passed around the circle from person to person. Participants are only allowed to talk when holding it, otherwise they are listening. Explain that there is always the ‘right to pass but encourage them to share. *In the case where each participant has a Talking Stick, have each one place their stick under their chair or in front of them and explain that they can only hold their Talking Stick when it is their turn to speak.
• Review the following Standards of Presence by listing them separately on small pieces of paper and distributing them out to the group. Allow each participant with a paper to read it aloud.
The above quote is from this link: https://walkinginhermoccasins.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Sharing_Circle_Instructions_SECONDARY.pdf
@PatienceImpatiens yes I told them a few times about the tradition is from first nations and not just from the groups as they pretend.
its an important tradition, where people can share, take turns, but never comment, judge, interupt or questionning what an other sharer says. and speak only when they have the talking stick -then when its their turn.
@TortueDesBois
Yes, and I think it is respect to Indigineous Peoples to credit them with the start of this tradition. There is, perhaps, even more historical evidence that these types of decision making and sharing circles existed earlier.
@PatienceImpatiens pretty much. And they still do it here. And we do it in scouting too by tradition from first nations and certainly not from religious mental health groups, from age 5-8..
I think this is a great initiative. Question. Do listeners have to be verified in order to pitch in in place of a host?
@Dandelion2405
yes, listeners need those two badges:
-Verified Listener Badge
-Sparkler badge (20 member group chats)
and members need:
- No newbie badge (this badge disappear after a month)
-Friendly Face badge (100 groups chats (so 5x more than listeners) + 300 Compassion Hearts)
@Heather225
ISSUES
Can we please address some issues which seem to be happening with so many new hosts and moderators kindly volunteering?
I have witnessed Woodlands Tortoise as he has tried bravely again and again to have a share at sharing circles, but sharers are so often interrupted by arrivers who don't read the rules, and also sometimes by other sharing circle members who ignore the rules and question, make irrelevant comments or welcome newcomers in the middle of shares.
The rules are apparently still under revision and don't have any mention about hosts and moderators not being allowed to use abbreviated words, like listeners need to, so sharers who don't use text often need to google whatever comments that hosts and moderators make. Moderators and hosts nevertheless say there is no foreign languages allowed, so that needs to be noted in writing on the sharing circle rules. Something to make understanding abbreviations easier might also be helpful.
The new hosts and moderators seem to be untrained in active listening and in sharing circle rules. They can actually become part of the share-interruption problem, saying hello to people who are coming and going during shares and also making comments entirely irrelevant to what has been said. Closing feedback comments from hosts are even sometimes obviously pasted (exactly the same for every member, whereas the experienced hosts we have had in the past actually cared about and supported what was shared).
Some new hosts don't leave time for members to make comments about the last share or for sharers to thank them before the host and moderator close the room down.
Having said that, these are obviously merely teething problems, and opportunities to design improvements, and tweaking the training and tools for hosts could certainly have a positive effect.
PROPOSED MEASURES TO DEAL WITH ISSUES
SYSTEM MEASURES
Moderator room mute control button
1 The host or moderator needs a mute control for the entire room ( . . .which they can be relied upon by sharers . . .) to apply as soon as an interruption occurs from someone entering and saying hello to everyone or someone questioning or arguing or making long answers during the share instead of obeying the rules. They need to be on the look out for interruptions and make their goal to intervene before the sharer needs to ask the interrupter to stop.
Moderator control for "eyes only" messages to interruptors
2 Hosts and moderators need access to be able to communicate privately on the page with any person who is interrupting because (of course) interventions by hosts and moderators are as much of an interruption as the original interruption as well.
Sharing Circle Welcome + Agree to Rules Page
3 If clicking on the sharing circle option from the group chat choices page (https://www.7cups.com/connect/groupChatrooms.php) led instead to an extra welcome / entrance page, Those entering could be obliged to read the sharing circle rules and click (several times) check boxes to agree to each of those rules, before being "permitted" (ie. link operates once all boxes are ticked) to enter back into the sharing circle. This engineering solution could immediately solve more than 1/2 of the interruptions to sharers.
Abbreviations Key
4 That same sharing circle undertaking page could also display a link to open a page in another tab where a list of definitions of the most common abbreviations used in the chats could be accessed.
"Time Out" Page to Click to Undertake Agreement to rules
5 A page (set) that resembled the entrance page could be used as a "time out" page, where people could find themselves if they broke the rules, being required to re-read then re-agree to whichever rules the moderator wants the user to make sure they obey. (Set: Set of pages with rules which have been broken highlighted, so moderator can choose which has been broken and send the interrupter there)
TRAINING
CHAT PROCEDURE FOR HOSTS
A SESSION OPENING
1. Hello and Welcome (Script)
2. Serenity (Script)
B ARRANGE NEXT SHARER
1. Call for people to self-nominate to share by typing " * " (Paste script)
2. Wait x minutes
3. Provide list of nominated sharers
4. Rule reminder: (script) 3 - 5 minutes, few supportive words, no questions, say "Done" when finished
C. INTRODUCE NEXT SHARER "Name," the floor is yours.
1. Comments
2. Convenience List (comments for moderators to use in-between share messages)
3. Monitor and "Time Out" interruptors
D. FINISH SHARE
1. "Name," 1 minute warning
2. "Name," your time is up
3 Allow some time for feedback to sharer from group
4. Think of something worth writing for the sharer (or nothing at all).
> B > C > D > REPEAT LOOP ALL THROUGH INCLUDING LAST SHARE
E. SESSION CLOSURE
1. Serenity (Script)
2. Goodbyes
3. Handover to Moderator
INTERRUPTION PROCEDURE for SYSTEM MEASURES
1. Moderator notices interruption
2. Moderator notes which rule has been broken
3. Moderator sends interruptor link to "Time Out" room for specific broken rule
(operated by "message send" command)
4. Interrupter returns, muted for one minute
5. Interrupter re-interrupts - > muted for session
ADDITIONAL RULES
1. Time-out rule (To impliment system measure)
2. No foreign language rule
I'm sure all the people here have put time and thought into their replies to this thread and would appreciate some thanks.
Kind regards
Subsequent Thought
@Heather225 I think this is a step up for 7cups community. I am not going to get negative-but just a concern. Every hour on the hour there will be a Sharing Circle? My concern will be there are just to many there and for those that do have scheduled times to host/co-host people just do not show up.
Do you think maybe 4 is enough? Then the other rooms get neglected some and low participation. Sorry just my thoughts but good ideas in this all
@RumpleSteeleSkin old days rumple, when we only have 4 sharing circles . For me I guess 6 sharing circles are sufficient since in these circles also many time slots goes very slow .. Tbh my biggest concern is , if we keep adding sharing circle like this rate, then we won't be doing justice to our subcommunity chatroom discussions
@Heather225 Hi Heather! I think some people in this thread have made some good suggestions thus far!
I'm just a little confused about a few things, so put them here in case it's helpful in some way:
It sounds like with this new plan, there will always be a community mod in the chat at least at the start of the chat, and if there is no other host attending, the mod will ask someone to lead the chat. Does the mod stay there and monitor, or not? If there are more circles taking place each day, doesn
@Heather225
understood
