Bullying in Group Support
It has come to our attention that there is bullying going on in the support chat rooms. This is really sad to hear. 7 Cups is an emotional support network. We are all here to support you, and we expect you to behave supportively and with kindness towards others while youre here. Thats what were about.
⛔️ BULLYING NEEDS TO STOP IMMEDIATELY.
What is bullying?
Bullying is hurtful behaviour that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. It can happen online or offline. It can happen once, or it can be an ongoing behaviour.
Types of bullying:
☞ Making threats
☞ Ridiculing
☞ Gossiping
☞ Spreading rumours
☞ Attacking someone verbally
☞ Excluding someone from a group
How can I avoid bullying someone?
Treat everyone with respect. If youre about to say something that might be hurtful, put yourself in the other persons shoes and imagine how your words would feel. If you think you have been unkind to someone, you can apologise.
We have many vulnerable guests and members. Most of us on 7 Cups are struggling in some way. Thats why were here for support. Some have special needs and may not know how to behave appropriately. In cases like this, you need to be extra compassionate. Assume the best of others. Know that everyone is doing the best they can. If being kind doesnt help the situation, you can use your own personal mute button. Alternatively, you can take a break from the chat room.
How does bullying make you feel?
If youre involved in bullying, it might help you to feel cleverer, stronger or more superior than another person. You might find you quite enjoy bullying and forget to consider the harm that it causes to others. There is a danger, especially if part of a group, that youll begin to truly believe that the other person isnt worth as much as the rest of you. This is wrong.
What to do if youre bullying someone?
Stop immediately. Remind yourself that you can do better. Reach out to a listener and talk through why you might be behaving in this way and how you intend to put it right. If you dont feel comfortable talking about it, make a list of what you get out of bullying. Then make a list of how youd feel if you were that person. Be brave. Apologise to the person you were hurtful towards. You can also tell any friends engaging in this behaviour to stop. Remind them of the harm it causes. If they do not listen, it would be a good idea to find new, kinder friends that dont need to belittle others to feel better about themselves.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
- Jim Rohn
How does being bullied make you feel?
Bullying can make you feel scared, upset, embarrassed or hopeless. Its important to know that nobody has the right to make you feel this way. There are people who will like, care about and support you. 7 Cups is full of them. If you are being bullied by anyone in the group support rooms, you can mute and report them. You can also reach out to me directly via PM.
Zero tolerance policy
Here on 7 Cups, we will not tolerate bullying. Let me say this again. We will not tolerate bullying. Anyone who is found to be engaging in hurtful behaviour will no longer be permitted to participate in group support chat. Those who continue to find ways to hurt others outside of group chat will be removed from the site completely.
Dont be that person.
What do you think would go through the head of bullies when they read this thread?
@NeoNeoNeonPrune
great point. many bullies never think they are the problem. some even think they are doing the site a favor or use the rooms to focus their anger on people to feel better and others really just have a lot of fun doing it.
@reliableCar1257
I think it's quite a bit the same as telling people not to rape. Everybody (exept some religious nutcases maybe) knows it's wrong, so telling rapists that it's wrong to rape is just pointless. You have to do something else.
btw, I am in Thinking Space a lot and seldom notice bullying. Only thing I remember was this incident with [member] where apparently people ganged up on him. I do remember a lot of people who come in the chatroom, say nothing, and then out of the blue say "I feel left out!", or people who put forth arguments everyone thinks is ridicilous or hurtful and then you have a very lopsided discussion or something if that person can't drop the subject.
@NeoNeoNeonPrune - Good question, and it's difficult to answer. I think there are definitely people who will read this post and ignore it. They might not have learned how to care about other people's feelings. It's sad, but it's true. There will always be people like that.
Bullying is a behaviour, not a person. We can all continually improve on ourselves and our behaviour. We all have that ability, and we all have a little bit of goodness in us. There are people who will read this post and know that what they're doing is wrong. Those are the people who can help us to turn this around.
We're all in this together and we all need to do our part.
Thanks so much for this post @Heather . Bullying is a big issue even outside of 7Cups so it's very important that we try our hardest to ensure that 7Cups is a Bully-Free Zone. I'm so grateful that you decided to address this. <3 KikaPika
I am not much of a grouper chatterer, but I truly hope this site doesn't turn into another Facebook. I have a Facebook page, but in my opinion, a lot of people go on there to be nosy and critical of one another, yet nice to the person when they see them in public. I see this site as sort of a union. A person doesn't have to go in pure detail of themselves, but can confide in one another about personal issues and find ways to work them out. I really like this site and I think the bullying only contradicts what a person has come here to find help for! Makes no sense .. Anyway, thanks 7 Cups for this site!
thank you for this post.
we feel less and less safe on the rooms, and I do hope this remember will help to find the peaceful and supportive atmosphere we was used to know on those.
But what actions will you take for enforce better this policy?
@TortueDesBois - We'll be switching some of the public rooms to member only. Additionally, we will be putting steps in place to make it more difficult to create member accounts.
Thank you for this post. Finally, I've waited forever for someone to say something, as I am a victim of bullying in the chat rooms. It was very nice to see this. 
I really love this post and i definitely thing that it was necessary (although i really wish it wasnt), i hope this can help bring an end to the bullying issue ❤️
I also think this post should stay on the alerts FOREVER, as a reminder that bullying is NOT okay.
I really hope this gets treated very seriously. I have witnessed fellow members being rumoured doing horrible things are being bad people behind their backs and no action was taken to remove that account even after multiple reports and muting, since that one person is quick at pretending to be the victim when people call them out and it is really infuriating and upsetting to see listeners supporting the bully because they have not witnessed what happened earlier in chat rooms continuously and start telling off other members that are calling the bully out without accusing them of anything but just telling the truth. I have stopped using the chat rooms now for this reason.
Nice words. I really hope every member will take these words into consideration.
What can be done bout that?