Bullying in Group Support
It has come to our attention that there is bullying going on in the support chat rooms. This is really sad to hear. 7 Cups is an emotional support network. We are all here to support you, and we expect you to behave supportively and with kindness towards others while youre here. Thats what were about.
⛔️ BULLYING NEEDS TO STOP IMMEDIATELY.
What is bullying?
Bullying is hurtful behaviour that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. It can happen online or offline. It can happen once, or it can be an ongoing behaviour.
Types of bullying:
☞ Making threats
☞ Ridiculing
☞ Gossiping
☞ Spreading rumours
☞ Attacking someone verbally
☞ Excluding someone from a group
How can I avoid bullying someone?
Treat everyone with respect. If youre about to say something that might be hurtful, put yourself in the other persons shoes and imagine how your words would feel. If you think you have been unkind to someone, you can apologise.
We have many vulnerable guests and members. Most of us on 7 Cups are struggling in some way. Thats why were here for support. Some have special needs and may not know how to behave appropriately. In cases like this, you need to be extra compassionate. Assume the best of others. Know that everyone is doing the best they can. If being kind doesnt help the situation, you can use your own personal mute button. Alternatively, you can take a break from the chat room.
How does bullying make you feel?
If youre involved in bullying, it might help you to feel cleverer, stronger or more superior than another person. You might find you quite enjoy bullying and forget to consider the harm that it causes to others. There is a danger, especially if part of a group, that youll begin to truly believe that the other person isnt worth as much as the rest of you. This is wrong.
What to do if youre bullying someone?
Stop immediately. Remind yourself that you can do better. Reach out to a listener and talk through why you might be behaving in this way and how you intend to put it right. If you dont feel comfortable talking about it, make a list of what you get out of bullying. Then make a list of how youd feel if you were that person. Be brave. Apologise to the person you were hurtful towards. You can also tell any friends engaging in this behaviour to stop. Remind them of the harm it causes. If they do not listen, it would be a good idea to find new, kinder friends that dont need to belittle others to feel better about themselves.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
- Jim Rohn
How does being bullied make you feel?
Bullying can make you feel scared, upset, embarrassed or hopeless. Its important to know that nobody has the right to make you feel this way. There are people who will like, care about and support you. 7 Cups is full of them. If you are being bullied by anyone in the group support rooms, you can mute and report them. You can also reach out to me directly via PM.
Zero tolerance policy
Here on 7 Cups, we will not tolerate bullying. Let me say this again. We will not tolerate bullying. Anyone who is found to be engaging in hurtful behaviour will no longer be permitted to participate in group support chat. Those who continue to find ways to hurt others outside of group chat will be removed from the site completely.
Dont be that person.
I adore this post, @Heather, and I particularly adore the quote. This was much needed, and I am so grateful that you took the time to spell it out for us.
Excellent post!! I agree! Thank you 
thanks, @heather - it saddens me that people feel OK about bullying others in a support chat room.
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn
agreed it is sad. but the reality and issue that has been an Achilles heel for this site's chat rooms has been the fact that from a real bully's perspective, support rooms are a true smorgasbord.
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn
Right? I think we all look for compassonate souls here...some of us experienced bullying in real life and having to experience it here too is totally heartbreaking. I wish we could just respect each other and help as much as we can.
I'm happy to finally see such post! 
Thank you for taking the time to write this. Sadly bullying is real, even on 7Cups, and it's great that you address attention to this problem. I hope lots of people will read this post and really take the time to critically view their own behavior in group support rooms.
If anyone's being bullied in a chat room, they're welcome to contact me so I can then moderate and hopefully calm everything down. :)
@SilentSerenityy - thanks for offering this!
@SilentSerenityy You're like my favorite mod.
@BeautyIsTheBeast
Oh really?! Thank-you :3
@SilentSerenityy OH yeah, totally, you got guts with some of the things you say. Like you aren't mean or anything, but you aren't afraid to speak your mind and stand for what you feel is right, even if it's against another mod. I like that about you. You're strong and don't crumble in the face of intimidation.
@BeautyIsTheBeast
Wow. You basically described who I am as a person.:O I didn't think it showed through online! I mainly say positive things about other mods though. ;)
@SilentSerenityy Yes, your serenity shows through. I've never seen you talk bad about a mod either, I just like how you are able to talk to a mod or admin with strong feelings towards a topic, feelings or opinions that they may disagree with. I'm way too afraid of being muted or banned to do that. But then you end up saying what I'm thinking but in a much more professional, kind, respectful manner.
@BeautyIsTheBeast
That's really kind of you to say. I'm glad I can live up to my name and bring serenity everywhere I go. ☺ I'm an opinionated person and I don't worry about saying much here because I know if someone reports it, nothing would happen because I'm careful about what I say and it wouldn't be against any rules or offensive to someone. If someone banned you because you were appropriately conveying your views, then you can report the moderator.
@SilentSerenityy Well that's good to know that there's justice even for members unjustly suppressed by mods. Sorry, but I have seen a few bad mods and the bad sticks in your memories, ya know? I once read something about a restaurant that said for every 1 bad review 10 good ones need to make up for it. That applies to so many things, don't you think?
@BeautyIsTheBeast
I think that's a good saying and very true when you apply it here. It's unfortunate, but people should remain hopeful that there are good mods and listeners around - because there are. ♥
@SilentSerenityy Oh, I've seen them, you are one of them, LilyListens is another Aura47 is a great mod too, AdVic is rad, Nadine is pretty cool too, there are others but I forget their names.
no offense and I am sincerely glad this is FINALLY being addressed as it has been an issue for a very long time....BUT how do we know there will be consequences for those who bully? it still happens as of today and many file reports that go unnoticed or unreplied. mods get called and do not show. people use TOR or VPN to bypass mutes and bans. many members clearly have multiple accounts to troll, spam, attempt hacks and bully.
what will 7C do about this?
@reliableCar1257
I think you bring up some good questions.
It's fine to say that there's zero tolerance for bullying, but what does that actually mean in terms of what's going to occur from here?
It appears that a situation has been going on for a while.
@AffyAvo
exactly and thank you. let's hope we get some real solutions soon.
@reliableCar1257
I think the points you have brought up are really valid. After being bullied on this site the particular members account was terminated but they have since created a new account and it makes me really uneasy about being on the sight at times when it is supposed to be a supportive environment.
@Rainbowinastorm93
I am so sorry that happened to you and hope you don't have to deal with that individual again. have unfortunately heard similar stories from countless members and guests here while being in my member or listener account.
its awesome this is being formally addressed by @heather and fingers crossed for viable solutions so we have safe, helpful and supportively fun chat rooms!
@reliableCar1257
Thanks for your post & questions. We are currently working on ways to make sure such behaviors discontinue. We have taken steps in the past to stop people from engaging in hurtful behaviors and had positive outcomes. We will continue to do this to stick up for all our users and ensure a safe environment.
@Laura and @Heather This is not an easy problem to fix in any setting and I'm glad you have been proactive in finding creative and effective solutions to decrease bullying but also to help people understand that we realize that sometimes the people who lash out the most are the ones who are also hurting the most. I'm glad you have such a supportive and inclusive attitude on this and have instituted, for example, the modding changes that make it easier for a mod to address a situation privately with a member/guest/listener rather than perpetuating such drama in the room. I look forward to seeing where your creativity on this takes us.
@reliableCar1257 - reports may go unreplied, but they do not go unnoticed
Sad we even need a post
@Livetolove - I completely agree. It's very sad.
Thank you so much for this @Heather Unfortunately very much needed. :( <3
Thank you for bringing this to the surface and addressing it openly. I've had members and guests complain to me about this sort of thing in the group support chat rooms. I hope things will change in a more positive direction.
