Room Supporter Meeting Reminder: November 2, 2021 and Meeting Notes

@PeaceLoveandPaws

I will do my best to attend. I will be working then

@PeaceLoveandPawattends

thanks for the reminder, I am going to try to attend❤️

@PeaceLoveandPaws

Thanks Peace...

I am totally unable to attend the meeting at this time of the day.... However, any follow-up notes will be helpful. Thank you!

November 2, 2021 Room Supporter Meeting Notes

Attendees: @brightWindow2311, @NewPenguin, @theriverissinging, @cheerfulIceCream , @PuzichkinCat @Sunisshiningandsoareyou, @cheerfulIceCream, @emotionalTalker2260, @Angelx28

New Business:

The buddy program has been expanded to include room supporters. Please see this link for the application and more information.

• Question: How is a buddy different from the support you’re receiving from your team? Answer: A buddy is an additional part of your support system as you progress on your journey as a room supporter. Buddies will check in with you, offer support, and answer any questions you might have about your role.

• We also should have a room supporter guide coming out soon. Does anyone have any topics they think should be covered in a guide book?

  • Suggestion: ow to get more people to participate in group support discussions

  • Suggestion: How to navigate the forums

  • Suggestion: How to get respect as a Room Supporter

Discussion:

With the holiday season approaching, does anyone have questions about the 7 cups crisis policy?

• Participant comment: I think the policy can be accommodating of users who are not actively in crisis, TW, say bad enough to be thinking about suicide but not exactly acting on it. Perhaps they're dealing with intrusive thoughts or even "casual" suicidal thoughts as one would put it. Often they are asked to leave chat by the mod, which understandably is to protect them but I feel like if all they needed was to let it out or vent, we take that away from them

• Participant comment: Adding onto the previous message, the new-er mods are often quick on asking them to PM them or not talk about it or leave. More experienced mods usually assess and often do let members vent if they seem not in active crisis That's a valid concern! I think the reason why we treat both active and passive shares and chats about crisis as crisis, is because we are not trained to distinguish between them and as a precautionary measure, always better to take all crisis situations as equally important and referable to concerned resources.

  • Answer ( From Cat): I understand your point, penguin! It's important for us to refer to passive mentions (ideation) to crisis pages as well. It can be a really fine line for the person -- being passively or actively in crisis -- and in rooms we cannot guarantee that they are treated exactly right, anything mentioned could make the situation worse, since people have personal triggers, someone might say something without thinking -- as nobody in the room would have the specific training to handle the situation, and we would never want the members to feel worse. It can really be helpful for people to talk about passive ideation that they might experience, but, unfortunately, 7 Cups is not the safest place for that, and they do deserve to be safe.

• Participant comment: But I can lack purpose in life and not be in crisis. Not seeing any point in life is different than having a purpose I guess. It just feels so bad when the person is surprised at accepting crisis referrals and they consider the help they need to be just talking it out. I can understand that it can escalate quickly. But there's guilt working.

• Participant comment: Speaking from my experience, as someone who suffers from borderline PD, the emotions are usually on the extreme side. And a lack of support means this is where I usually turn to. So being kicked from here feels worse, and it becomes difficult to cope. But I'm with you, someone triggering me further would be in the same ballpark of worse

  • Answer (From Cat) We should remember that members are allowed to discuss PAST crises, as well as something that isn't an ongoing personal crisis situation but an event that happened with someone else and affected them. This is allowed, however, it can be a very sensitive and triggering subject so we would try to ask them to put a trigger warning if they are talking about these things, or send out a reminder ourselves, as room supporters/ leaders.

  • Answer (From Cat): We should remember that graphic details, tools, weapons, specific plans and descriptions should be avoided. We, as part of the GSML team, will be trying to make these policies more clear,

• Participant comment: Talking of SH and crisis planning are different of course. Mostly it's observed that a member when distressed would be likely to say something along the lines of "I wish I wasn't alive" which I suppose would be against the rules and triggering, again understandably so. But can we call it as crisis?

• Participant comment: Say you sent them the resources and clarified that they're safe indeed, would you then let them continue their share or ask to leave and maybe try 1-1?

  • Answer (From Cat): Depending on their words they would need to log out of 7 cups or take the chat to PMs (if it's self-harm urges that can be too triggering to discuss in the group) but in these cases they would always be asked to follow to 7cups.com/crisis and have to stop participating in the room for now but would be explained that they are welcome to return after they have gotten professional support that they deserve

  • Answer (From Paws) I would say to err on the side of caution. It's better for them to be safe. Even if they get mad at us for doing it, we are making referral out of care and concern for their well being.

  • Answer (From Cat): Agree. We are not trying to hurt them, we want them to get the best possible support. Moderators have tools to help those who are refusing crisis resources when they need them, too , so it's a good idea to call in a moderator if something like that is happening From Cat: Here's a forum post that has explanations about some areas of crisis referrals on 7 Cups, but it's available on the listener side only, I think, https://www.7cups.com/forum/ListenerLearningJourney_149/ChatSup

• Participant comment: No links for the member room supporters?

  • Answer: (From Cat) We'll try to change that asap.

  • Reminder (From Cat:) And feeling uneasy and panicky is valid. Your wellbeing matters and it's always okay to take self-care precautions/ leave the room and get personal support when you might need it, too.

Current Crisis Policy (from 7 Cups) 7cups.com/crisis

What is considered a crisis? A crisis is considered when you feel you may be a harm to yourself or others. If you are thinking about or planning to harm yourself you may be in crisis

What should someone do who is struggling with suicidal ideation? Members may find they have no one to talk to about it because programs like 7 Cups cannot help as volunteer Listeners are not trained to handle it, and Crisis Lines do not consider it a current crisis. Please understand that at 7 Cups we want the best for everyone, but need to set clear limits on what is and is not appropriate for a volunteer to handle. We cannot handle talking about suicidal ideation. To ensure everyone is getting the support they need, we will always refer ANY suicidal talk to this page. Suicidal ideation may seem harmless, but it can quickly escalate into a crisis situation. Volunteers are not equipped to differentiate or know the signs of when a passive thought starts to sound like a possible action. This is why we do not support any discussion of suicidal ideation.

• What to do in a group support situation? In a group chat room please use the crisis referral tool and complete the moderator request form. Please do not direct any participant to connect with a 1-1 listener.

What if I say something sarcastically and don’t really mean it? We will refer any talk, sarcastic or not, to ensure we are giving everyone the utmost support. Please be thoughtful about the language you use to describe your situation and refrain from making unserious or sarcastic comments about crisis topics. It is not always possible for us to know when you are joking or being sarcastic and any references to suicidal ideation will be referred.

I want to offer crisis support. This is a noble path and we support your dedication to helping those in crisis. Please look into local crisis organizations who offer training and support platforms. You will not be able to utilize your crisis training and skills on the 7 Cups platform, as we are not a crisis support organization.

Are you not currently a harm to yourself but find yourself thinking about your death or what is considered passive suicidal ideation? We are volunteers who use active listening to help you work through concerns or problems, but it is important to remember they are not in any way a substitute for therapy. Sometimes a topic such as passive suicidal thoughts (also known as suicidal ideation) is more appropriate for someone with advanced education and training. If someone mentions passive suicide ideation, you should refer them to this page to review our protocols and ensure that you get the best and most appropriate support for you. Volunteers are not equipped to differentiate or know the signs of when a passive thought starts to sound like a possible action. This is why we do not support any discussion of suicidal ideation.

Supporting self Harm Ideation: We consider individuals who are not actively self-harming but who are having thoughts or urges to not be in immediate crisis. It is okay to talk about self-harm ideation with a listener. Self harm is a sign of emotional distress. In many cases it is because the individual cannot tolerate the emotions they are experiencing or they are unable to express those feelings. The intention of self-harming is to distract oneself, not to end one's life. At 7 Cups we consider it to be an unhealthy coping mechanism, much like substance abuse.

• Please note, in a group support setting, participants should not use graphic language, methods of self harm, or devices used for self harm. Participants can discuss their feelings in group support. You may refer a member in need of personal support to a 1-1 listener.

• We can not support participants who are actively self harming in group support or 1-1. Participants who are actively self harming while on Cups should be referred to crisis resources.