How to be Happy: Is There a Secret Key to Finding True Happiness?

What has hopefully become apparent is that this question is somewhat of a trick question because there is no agreed-upon understanding of what constitutes ‘true’ happiness.

Finding happiness by living into our values.
Understanding our values is critical to achieving eudaimonic happiness because the eudaimonic perspective of happiness encourages us to engage in what is worth doing. In order to know what is worth doing, we must understand which actions generate valued outcomes, and we can only know this by looking closely at our core values.

Once you are clear on your core values, you can take steps to behave in a way that is congruent with these values, helping you live a happier life.

For instance, if you discover that one of your core values is growth, you might then consider the different ways to enact this value in day-to-day life. This could involve registering for a night class or pursuing new intellectual pursuits through reading.

Finding happiness through needs satisfaction.

One prominent theory of happiness posits that to be happy, we must engage in behaviors that satisfy our three core human needs .

the need for competence (feeling effective);
the need for autonomy (the feeling of being the origin of one’s behavior); and
the need for psychological relatedness (feeling cared for and understood by other people).

Overall, the satisfaction of these needs represents an avenue for achieving happiness that falls under the eudaimonic conceptualization. This is because need satisfaction promotes long-term wellness rather than just temporary pleasure.

Finding happiness through mindfulness.

Finally, and at the core of the mindfulness-based approach to finding happiness is the practice of mindfulness itself.

Mindfulness is typically defined as the practice of bringing one’s attention to the internal and external experiences occurring in the present moment, such as sensations, sights, thoughts, and emotions.

Mindfulness has existed for centuries and was first popularized among eastern traditions. The practice functions to better understand feelings and motivations, train the capacity for attention and relaxation, and free one’s mind from overidentification with negative thoughts and emotions.

Often, regular meditation will lie at the core of mindfulness practice. However, other approaches to developing mindfulness can include journaling and yoga.

No matter how you practice mindfulness, the aim is typically for the practice’s benefits to spill over into your experience of day-to-day consciousness, enabling you to return to states of mindful awareness throughout your day and not be at the whim of negative thoughts and emotions.

3 Tips to Form Habits for Happiness.

First, set a goal to strengthen your happiness using a goal-setting framework. By using a framework to set a happiness goal, you can avoid accidentally setting a goal that is too vague, easily track your progress, and rest assured knowing your goal is realistic and within your reach.

Second, keep in mind that it takes approximately two months for a new behavior to become an automatic habit, so do whatever it takes to commit to your goal for at least this long.

That way, you can see if your new practice has enduring benefits and becomes easier with time. For instance, you may find you need to set daily reminders for yourself (e.g., to journal, settle in for bed) for a couple of months until your new habit becomes automatic.

Finally, consider linking up with a friend or small group and commit to becoming happier together. In the same way that groups like AA and Weight Watchers can help their members develop better habits associated with health, you can work with others to stay accountable and get support if you face any hurdles in your pursuit of greater happiness.

If you ever find yourself getting lost in your search for happiness, consider reflecting on this famous quote:

Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it’s too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow. - Paul H. Dunn