Things to Ponder

Hey Pals!

As someone who spends a lot of time on the internet, in a book, and in my own head, I come across a lot of valuable discussions on the nature of happiness, productivity, sense of fulfillment, fear, stress, etc. I'm very interested in these ideas and how they apply to my life and the life of my friends, family, and strangers. I thought it would be neat to have a place to discuss some of these ideas and to share books, articles, passages, videos, interviews, or any other mediums that spark ideas in us all. I'll try to share something at least once a week and it'd be cool if others wanted to share what they're finding and thinking as well! This may very well not be of interest to anyone and turn into a thread of me just talking to myself, that'll be awkward, we shall see haha.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today I wanted to share this TED Talk by Ash Beckham on emotional closetsit's only 9 minutes if you have the time to spare and I think it's a very important message central to what we do here at 7 Cups both as members and as listeners. Beckham's primary theme suggests that ALL of us have "closets" that we live in, things we are afraid to confront, things we are hiding from. She states, "the experience of being in and coming out of the closet is universal. It is scary, and we hate it, and it needs to be done." I think that a lot of the work we do here involves reconciling with our own closets, some we aren't out of or even aware of yet, and helping others to do the same. This has brought up two main themes in my mind.

1. Comparing closets
For me and for many of the members I speak to, one of the biggest barriers to reaching out or even acknowledging we are in a closet in the first place is the idea of comparison. We're quick to think "oh, it isn't that bad so and so has gone through much worse" and some people are even told how miniscule their problems are up against other issues in the world by people they've tried to open up to. Rather than making anyone feel better, I think this brings up a lot of frustration in ourselves and discourages exploration of our issues. Rather than acknowledging our closets and looking for light switches and doors, we think "I shouldn't feel this way, this shouldn't bother me, other people have it worse" and this keeps us in the dark.

Beckham says something very important about this idea. She says, "There is no harder, there is just hard. We need to stop ranking our hard against everyone else's hard to make us feel better or worse about our closets and just commiserate on the fact that we all have hard."

As a listener, it's important to communicate this to members and guests in a loving way. It's important to make them feel that whatever they're weathering is real and important and worthy of being worked through. As a human, it's important to communicate this to ourselves and our loved ones, too, as even small closets can be confining and suck the color out of life particularly if they are lived in long and our eyes learn to adjust to the darkness.

2. Empathy as a keyhole
My favorite part of the talk was the ending sentiment:

"So the next time you find yourself in a pitch-black closet clutching your grenade, know we have all been there before. And you may feel so very alone, but you are not. And we know it's hard but we need you out here, no matter what your walls are made of, because I guarantee you there are others peering through the keyholes of their closets looking for the next brave soul to bust a door open, so be that person and show the world that we are bigger than our closets and that a closet is no place for a person to truly live."

Naturally, we cannot relate to the walls of every closet, but we can relate to the feelings of being locked in one. The thing I love most about 7 Cups and about empathy in general, is that we don't need to have been locked in the same closet as our friends and members, we just have to do our best to peer into the keyhole and meet them where they are.

Anywho, I loved the talk and would like to share more ideas and "internet inspirations" with you all in the future.