Imagine Sisyphus Happy

Perserverance is the skill of discipline and patience, we persevere to reach our goals and succeed. But what if there is no clear goal? No clear signpost for success? In that case, I like to use the less-revered word, persistence, meaning to continue a course of action despite opposition or resistance. 

I imagine a more goal-oriented person would rather use perseverance to describe their efforts. I can see the advantages in seeing life as a culmination of small goals into a larger goal, whatever a person's ideal life would be. I have found the flaws in having such a goal-oriented life, giving such important meaning to small goals, and having them fail was catastrophic for me, and it would happen very often. I understand that's the point of perseverance, but a lack of control has always been evident in my life, causing me hardships that were too difficult to bear; therefore, to persevere, I had to change what persevering meant to me and what I'm striving towards. 

In a life where nothing is certain and losses keep amassing by the day, I found meaning in Albert Camus's absurdism. Absurdism posits that life is meaningless and irrational, but humans constantly want to give it meaning and rationalise it. Albert sees this conflict as "absurd." It is in this absurdity that life's true meaning is found. We exist to rebel against and oppose an indifferent universe.

So for me, I don't persevere as much as I persist. I keep rebelling against the indifference of my challenges, society, and the universe. There is one more step to absurdism, which is the final goal as stated by Camus. Find people to rebel against absurdity with, because we're all on the same side, and no one should fight the universe alone.

Questions:

Do you persist or do you persevere?

What keeps you going?

What is the meaning of your life?

Thank you