Character Strengths - Ten Thousand Gallons of Love (2)
Re-uploading my forum thread to reflect the right word count and an interesting discussion prompt. :)
I’ve always known how to offer love. Not just a little, but ten thousand gallons of it. It pours out of me without hesitation because that’s just how I’m wired. I love hard, deep, and without needing to be asked. For the longest time, I thought that was enough. That as long as I was giving love, I didn’t need anything back. But lately, I’ve been sitting with a different truth. It’s okay to want ten thousand gallons in return. Not crumbs. Not almosts. Not someone who disappears when it gets inconvenient. I want real love. The kind that sees me, holds me, listens to me, and meets me where I actually am.
Since love is one of my strongest traits, I’ve been thinking about how it’s not just something I give. It’s something I’m allowed to receive. A strength only works when it goes both ways. If I’m constantly pouring out and never being refilled, that’s not love. That’s depletion. I used to feel like wanting more made me selfish or too much. But now I see it as a form of self-respect.
Have you ever felt guilty for wanting the same kind of love you give so freely? You’re not wrong for wanting that.
When Character Strengths Become Needs: Reflecting on Reciprocity in Relationships
Think about your top three character strengths. How do they show up in your relationships, and are they being nurtured in return? Are you allowing yourself to receive what you so naturally give to others? Share your reflections and how these strengths can support not just others, but your own well-being too.
@Juliet1
There's so much truth in asking for what you deserve.
Mental health has taken a dark turn, where even asking for the bare minimum makes us somehow entitled or conceited. The reality is that being selfish enough literally means knowing what you deserve in life. For some people, they never get that far... far enough to say exactly what they need in a relationship to feel loved, cared about, and valued.
My biggest strength is that I'm a relator. I am not just an empath. I relate to other people's problems as if they're my own. And my next greatest strength is I see people as they really are. Not some bias I have about what they should be, even if I disagree with their life choices. I see them as a whole person, trying their best in life, and there's something valuable in that.
Finally, my third strength is mindfulness. It's something I had to nurture over time. And failed at plenty. The fact that I'm willing to put thought before action shows the level of responsibility and commitment I put into my life.
Is it always reciprocated? No.
Part of meeting people where they're at in life is about understanding what they're capable of. Not everyone is capable of kindness, love, peace, or joy. That's not something I have control over. And it's not something I feel the need to change. Even as a relator... I know that there's no better way to learn than going through the motions ourselves.
🐠
@GentleFish
I think your dual emotional giftedness of being both an empath and a relator is going to serve you very well in life. Even if it isn't always reciprocated by those who aren't ready to do so, people will naturally gravitate towards you and the more you hone your gifts, the more you will naturally be able to tell who's presence will offer you the most out of life and who understands you the most. :)
