Feeling Angry or Grumpy? Share your frustrations!! Let it out!
I know that you are my parents, but you need to listen! When I tell you that I am taking diet pills so I can stop eating everyone out of house and home listen. Because at least that is part of the truth, compared to the bull crap you tell everyone else, which has absolutely no truth to it at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UGH I swear to God, stop acting as if your life is hard! You get like two hours of homework a night, and are guaranteed a fresh warm meal every night! I get up to 6 hours of homework, am lucky if I get a warm meal once a week, and have to sacrifice sleep to get good grades! Don't even dare freaking say I'm just lazy! I'm exhausted, mentally and physically! I get like 4 hours of sleep a night, have to bust my a** off at school to make everyone think things are just fine, and force myself to go beyond the boundary with like 1000 calories a day in me!
You have time and energy to do stuff and enjoy life! I don't! You don't get that I don't do much because depression restricts how much energy I have! Anxiety makes socialising painful and difficult for me! My self harm makes moving around sore, and I'm forced to constantly worry about whether or not people can see my cuts! (THAT'S RIGHT, I DIDN'T FALL, I PUT THESE CUTS ON MYSELF, BUT YOU'RE TOO FREAKING BLIND TO REALISE THAT! IT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE, NOBODY CARES!) School really is destroying me, and it hurts that you don't believe me! Try being in my shoes for a week. Try being the child that nobody loves in the family because they're lazy around the house (even though I always do what I'm freaking told without complaining, unlike someone!) Try being the one in class who's forced to put on airs and graces and always get good grades to avoid disappointing people! Try being the one that never gets told "Well done" or "I'm proud of you." even though they work to the point of exhaustion. Try being the one who hates their life so much that they have to cut themself to escape! Try being me. The one who wants to die. The one who has planned a bridge; a method; an excuse. Your life is a game compared to mine. I wish I could have an easy time talking, socialising, working, playing, laughing, living. You will never get how much it hurts for me to get out of bed every day and enter the grim and bleak world around me. DON'T EVEN TRY TO TALK TO ME AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT MY SISTER! A REAL SISTER WOULD BE NICE TO THEIR BIG SISTER AND HELP THEM! A REAL SISTER WOULDN'T BELITTLE THEIR BIG SISTER AND ACT AS THOUGH THEIR PROBLEMS WERE NONEXISTENT! A REAL SISTER WOULDN'T BE ONE OF THE REASONS WHY THEIR BIG SISTER LIKES TO SEE THEMSELVES BLEED AND FEEL PAIN!
Hey@SakuraSkye
I am really sorry, that you are hurting so much. I have depression also the clinical kind that paralyzes you mentally. It's hard to get up without going to a negative thought I always wake up thinking about what's wrong with my life or what's going on with me. I know how it feels to be in pain, growing up my parents didn't take into consideration how I felt and my brothers don't understand say that I choose to be depressed and it makes me want to rip myself apart because of them downgrading my feelings. I live with family it's been a year now I left when I was 19 I'm 24 now I don't like being here, but it helps I do get free meals, a bed, I get to shower whenever and I can wash my clothes and get to be around my dogs. But I'm not happy I have to live in my brothers room who acts really immature and rude and disgusting he is 18 and like a controler maybe this sounds pretty harsh but to me like a psychopath and feel he gets that from dad. It's sad to see and it's so hard to say how my parents are tow faced. Ok, I'm going to talk for a second and stop rambling, yes I have food showers and a place to stay a job clothes no school at the moment. But I struggle everyday mentally just having material things and neccessities help ease depression knowing you have a little stability but I still have a lot wrong ;/ been to hospitals seeing a therapist. Just because having these things doesn't make me happy it makes me greatful but I am suffering inside.
@TrippyFlower23 Thank you for understanding me. I'm glad someone else out there feels the same way, it stops me from feeling alone.
I force myself to try and keep my mental health problems hidden away when I'm around others. I try my best to act normally around others, so I don't cause people to worry, or risk becoming a burden on others. It's exhausting and painful, but I can sometimes manage it. As a result of trying to hide it, I don't go to a therapist or doctors. I can't share my problems with anyone I know. The internet is my only source of help sadly :/ Anyway, enough of the rambling. Depression sucks, but we'll both make it somehow xxx
A group of people from my old school where they used to bully me and my friends just posted a picture of them together with a caption thanking for all the good times and memories (it's our last year in high school). I'm so angry because for them it's only about the good stuff but I have to deal with social anxiety and worry I will meet one of them in the street and they'll find me ugly or fat and will say bad things about me. I'm not saying they caused my social anxiety, but they made it far worse. I remember the time where I suddenly couldn't do some kind of stuff that weren't a big deal before, like speaking languages that aren't my birth one because I was afraid of saying something wrong. This is something I still can't do.
I have depression and anxiety. I hate using it as an excuse. Before I didnt because they are disorders, disabilities. I understand that if you have a disability thats a valid excuse. I am a college student and I passed my first year of college with decent grades, I was proud but, felt I could do better. My first semester of my Sophmore year just ended and I failed. Three courses had Fs and one had an A. I withdrew from two other courses I had. I couldnt get up to go to class. I had no motivation. I slept alot. I didnt know what to do. My financial situation is bad and I am trying to get another job but can I handle that mentally and with the time I have? God and I am back with my Ex after he came to me almost a year after we broke up and after he admitted to cheating on me with a french exchange student chick. I'm just low and I have gone to people for help. Its just, it doesnt feel like I can be helped. I look around and it seems like everyone has a mental illness and why should I complain about something that is so common now. I just feel so frustrated. I hate this. Fuck I am just so infuriated because I feel like I could do so much but I have lead injected into my feet and an anchor weighing my head down while something is inside my head trying its best to claw out.
@calibor24
I love what you wrote! I have so much I want to say in response but I can't at the moment, I have been through the same stuff! Were all different no one can be compared to another even though they are diagnosed with the same thing. You have your own feelings and just because depression is common which to me isn't all true, maybe the temporary depression that ppl have today who can get up and it be gone when stress is taken away. But you have a right to feel the way you do, heck I complain I do it because I am tired and I know your suffering. Sometimes I feel like I can manage it but it doesn't last it's still there but I've learned to shut things out, if my brain is overwhelmed I am letting whatever situation it is go. It's to much so I have a little filter gap I noticed that has been created by my brain as a safety jacket so it doesn't self destruct. I have so much more to say but chin up and gosh I love what you wrote. Not because I can relate to things but how you wrote I love it just something very very neat. Your a very good writer with expression and feeling. My grammar is everywhere I am using my phone. ;/
@calibor24
I have both Clinical Depression and Anxiety and I had my very first ever in my life panic attack which was horrible and had a mini one I think this depression is really do more to my body I've been doing my best to eat right and do right but this attack shook me up and I'm at a paranoid stage! But Damit we are going to fight! Even if it's little each day keep pushing!
I feel so low and broken Today when will I ever be able to feel whole again? When will I be able to love and give again? The psychopath took so much from me I am starting to rebuild but Today it seems to have gone backward. I am tired.
I feel angry and somehow disappointed to my mom. Shes never been there for me in the lowest state of me, only demanding and not giving. Even only small talk today, when i said i talk about i would like to go to german for extending study. She always giving negative comment, such as
why would you having degree and all if it doesnt make you having good job with good salary.
I am graduated two months ago from fine art major and currently seeking for job. I dont know why my mom always giving me such nerves, and i think thats why i am always feel inferior eventhough i did something big that maybe everyone would proud of.
I am not happy at all.
@pinkTea Not being heard is one of the worst feelings in the world.
Not that this is the same situation, but I grew up with parents that were dismissive and terrible at parenting. My decisions were either what they wanted or wrong. I'm just saying, I know the anger of not being heard by a parent.
I'm sick of feeling like I'll never get a break, without any control, and any sense of community or support. At the end of the day we all just want a big paycheck and anyone who isn't a friend or relative can **** off. I hate how convoluted our healthcare system is in the US, people are so prideful to say it's the 'best country in the world' when people can't afford healthcare and decent people will be drowning in debt if they get a disease but can't afford treatment or an operation. Everything comes down to money.
I yellied at customer service person for my state Medicaid on the phone, not insulting her, just yelling in general. But it was still unfair. It's just her job to give information and by this time of year there are likely plenty of calls by people like me who are tired and angry...
I just want to leave, sell a kidney to get rid of my medical and student loan debts and just start over somewhere else.
Dreams vs Responsibilities
Wants vs Needs
Not being me is so hard... I always choose Responsibilities and needs, my dreams left behind and now I am pretending everyday, someone I am not.
No one spoils me
Never had a relationship
No social life
All work and small pay
Thank u very much
like am sick of guilt, catholic, and otherwise. i saw my friend for xmas. i feel bad to say it, but she annoyed me. i wanted to sit quietly for a moment, she ke-t shoving her camera in my face showing me all of her other friends and where they had gone. um, ok, thanks - why? she's so freaking insecure. needs constant attention. now that she's finally ditched her asshole husband she wants to be around me. on the one hand, i know it's not your fault, babe, on the other, im not here to be your substitute husband. which is how i feel around you. i am so freaking sick of humans leeching off my strength. i had a dream i was carrying her while she talked to me and also my mother, clear cut symbolism if there ever was. when i get the new number, im not giving it to her. i feel so bad to say this, but as kind as she is, her neediness and immaturity drain me. if i dont focus on her all the time she thinks im ignoring her. and im not. i have two disorders and i am an introvert. i just need friends with similar issues who can ask me not to take care of them anymore. i find friends so im-ossible. i am really asking god for a mature friend who doesnt trigger me or "force" me to assume old roles. i am always in this role. amazing that my father and mother abused me abandoned me and somehow i am in this role. just for FUCKING ONCE GOD I'D LIKE TO BE TAKEN CARE OF. I TOOK CARE OF MY "FOLKS" AND I HAVE TAKEN CARE OF MANY. TELL ME WHEN DOES THAT LITTLE GIRL GET SOME LOVE? I'M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW I COULD SCREAM. i am ditching my friend and i am ho-ing in the new year once the work is done and im over the holiday hum- i can find some rest. i dont even know if i can have friends, b/c the most joyous i was was the summer i was mostly alone and could rest and nobody knew where to find me. maybe i shouldnt have any friends. i think sadly they trigger me too much. and that doesnt make me bad just very traumatized which i am.
I have Traces of Rheumatoid Authritus and Im 24 my hands have hurt over time in middle and high school and my pinky on my right hand has been turning I hate my hands! They hurt I just found this out I feel even more depressed I have to go to the doctor to get set up for treatment and see how sever I have it! No one else has this my grandmah did it got bad everyone else and there pretty soft wedding ring fingers Im not married but I feel even more depressed!
@TrippyFlower23
I'm really sorry you have to go through this. My grannie had horrible rheumatoid arthritus (not that any kind isn't horrible) from a really young age. She was also one of the most capable woman I've known, despite also suffering from severe depression. You have a right to take as long as you need to mourn. I just want to reassure you that this does not need to be the end in any way for a healthy, robust life. I hope the doctor gives you good news
@mcorbettd Thank you, I went to the Doctors as a walk in he was very Nice. I had swelling on my wrist the side my bone like protruding out a bit, he told me as I get older that happens but that sounded weird to me, my other wrist isn't like that. My hands are hurting like about 5 not overly bad but they do hurt. The doctor told me he doesn't think I have it, this was a different doctor this time even though my test said I have Traces. He said sometimes a positive can be false he told me it may be tendolitus or lupus I was scared about the lupus I heard of it, but it's not cureable? Idk. I said to him could I have Carpool tunnel? He said maybe so has sending me to get x-rays and to a specialist. Then get physically therapy. But Im so hoping hes not just saying positive things to blow smoke up my head or something. He said Im going to be alright when he was feeling my hands he said he doesn't see that I could have it but hes sending me to the specialist. Im still nervous I told him I like to type and now I won't be able to and I like to draw and he said I would be able to. I so hope he is forreal I am doubting I guess that comes from depression and kinda being let down by folks
@TrippyFlower23
I doubt the doctor would lie to you, but I understand your fears. Even though athritus severely disfigured her hands, it never stopped my grannie from playing the piano beautifully. So I have faith your drawing skills will only continue to grow
@mcorbettd Thank you so much! I really appreciate your positiveness I really hope it will! My hand hurt when I was in middle school and my pinky was weird and now Im a little bit older hopefully nothing bad is catching to me. I appreciate you Tremendously!
