FlourishingDimensions' Thoughts & Ideas

Boundaries

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A time, not very long ago I should admit, I didn't know what having boundaries actually meant. I feel like one of the most valuable things I have ever learned is how to have healthy boundaries. It's healthy for me, it's healthy for those that know me, deal with me, work with me... it trickles down and affects a lot of different things. I think that question people ask time to time, "what would you tell your younger self?" I would tell her to learn what it means to have healthy boundaries.

7 Cups has some great info on boundaries as well: HERE

This.

I am feeling this.

Restarting my positive, health journey, again. I slid off the rails a bit.

I'd like to preface this with a random fact. Flourishing is one of my favorite words. I love the way it looks, sounds, and I adore its meaning. This concludes my random fact.

Anyway, courtesy of the New York Times:

flourishing

flour·​ish·​ing | \ ˈflər-i-shiŋ , ˈflə-rish \

1. The opposite of languishing.

2. A sense of fulfillment, purpose, and happiness.

3. The peak of well-being: You have a strong sense of meaning, mastery, and mattering to others.

languishing

lan·​guish -ing| \ ˈlaŋ-gwish-ing

1. A name for the blah you are feeling.

2. The void between depression and flourishing - the absence of well-being.

3. It can dull your motivation and focus. And it may be the dominant emotion of 2021.

nytimes

Flourishing is the exact opposite of languishing, that sense of stagnation and emptiness Adam Gant wrote about recently for The Times. It’s the peak of well-being, or as one expert put it: “It’s living the good life.”

And with vaccination rates on the rise, hope is in the air. But after a year of trauma, isolation and grief, many are wondering: How long will it take before life finally — finally — feels good?

The answer to that question may be in your own hands. A growing body of research shows that there are simple steps you can take to recharge your emotional batteries and spark a sense of fulfillment, purpose and happiness.

Give yourself some uninterrupted time

That means we need to set boundaries. Years ago, a Fortune 500 software company in India tested a simple policy: no interruptions Tuesday, Thursday and Friday before noon. When engineers managed the boundary themselves, 47 percent had above-average productivity. But when the company set quiet time as official policy, 65 percent achieved above-average productivity. Getting more done wasn’t just good for performance at work: We now know that the most important factor in daily joy and motivation is a sense of progress.

I don’t think there’s anything magical about Tuesday, Thursday and Friday before noon. The lesson of this simple idea is to treat uninterrupted blocks of time as treasures to guard. It clears out constant distractions and gives us the freedom to focus. We can find solace in experiences that capture our full attention.

Focus on a small goal

The pandemic was a big loss. To transcend languishing, try starting with small wins, like the tiny triumph of figuring out a whodunit or the rush of playing a seven-letter word. One of the clearest paths to flow is a just-manageable difficulty a challenge that stretches your skills and heightens your resolve. That means carving out daily time to focus on a challenge that matters to you — an interesting project, a worthwhile goal, a meaningful conversation. Sometimes it’s a small step toward rediscovering some of the energy and enthusiasm that you’ve missed during all these months.

Languishing is not merely in our heads — it’s in our circumstances. You can’t heal a sick culture with personal bandages. We still live in a world that normalizes physical health challenges but stigmatizes mental health challenges. As we head into a new post-pandemic reality, it’s time to rethink our understanding of mental health and well-being. “Not depressed” doesn’t mean you’re not struggling. “Not burned-out” doesn’t mean you’re fired up. By acknowledging that so many of us are languishing, we can start giving voice to quiet despair and lighting a path out of the void.Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist at Wharton.

Hey, you! Ya, you... a reminder for me, a reminder for you...

Just one of those days where this reminder is needed...

A few tips from an article labeled, "How Adults with ADHD Can Become Better Listeners" from psychcentral.

Here are six suggestions for becoming a better listener:

Paraphrase.

“Repeat back what you heard your conversation partner say,” said Sarkis, author of several books on ADHD,

It keeps you engaged in the conversation, and shows you’re interested in what the other person is saying, said Main, founder of ADHD Solutions.

Take notes.

When you’re in a work meeting, listening to a lecture, or getting instructions from your partner, take notes. Main suggesting jotting down keywords and questions you might have.

Another option is to ask the other person — such as a coworker or supervisor — to write things down, or email you the instructions, Sarkis said. “This way you have a paper trail,” and you’re protected “in case there is conflicting information about instructions.”

Avoid focusing on your next sentence.

“If you’re busy thinking about what you are going to say next, you can’t possibly be giving the other person your full attention,” according to Main.

Instead, trust that when it’s your turn to speak, you’ll know what to say, she said. “It seems counter-intuitive, but the more you let go of what you think you need to say, the better prepared you will be to actually say the right thing.”

Ask for key points.

When the person you’re speaking with is rambling or sharing minute details about things you don’t care about, kindly let them know you’re getting lost in the details, and ask them to share the key points, Main said.

Put the conversation in context.

Try to connect what the person is saying to something you already know, Main said. For instance, Main’s new client told her that his psychiatrist suggested trying a gluten-free diet to manage his ADHD. She recalled that two of her clients have seen an improvement in their symptoms after doing the same.

“It makes me curious about what the new client has experienced so far and leads to a productive discussion about diet.”

If you can’t create a connection, ask the person to give you one, she added.

Visualize the story.

People with ADHD are visual thinkers and learners, Main said. “Use this to your advantage.” She suggested imagining what the person is saying as a movie playing out in your head. “Imagine all the colorful details.”

For adults with ADHD listening can be a challenge. Thankfully, by employing certain strategies, you can sharpen your listening skills. Just find the tools that work best for you.

Friday reminder for self care,

"YOU GOTTA

NOURISH TO

FOURISH"

🦋🤩✌️

Questions to help you find your passion

1. What was your favorite thing to do growing up?

2. When you were a child, what did you dream of doing when you grew up?

3. What is your favorite topic to talk about?

4. What do you like doing so much that you lose track of time?

5. If you had 5 minutes and the whole world was forced to listen, what would you say?

6. What would you do with your life if you had no fear?

7. What would you do with your life if you had the guarentee of success?

8. What would you do with your life if money wasn't an issue?

9. What skills come naturally for you?

10. What do you love learning about?