IT's the most wonderful time of the year * unless it isn't *
I see how my life is spiraling downward, the only good thing I am doing is caring for my mom the best I can while my siblings live their own lives. An I just wonder who is going to help me when the time comes. I am struggling with my faith, and that isn't fun when I know better. My thoughts constantly bounce around from good memories to bad, to worries to hope. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to drag someone down with me and that would take trust on my part that I wouldn't. Though I have no idea anymore how to go about looking for someone that would even be remotely interested in me. I need an animal companion and can't afford one. If I go an take my same worries to a religious forum the response is, Trust in Jesus. There is no sadness in Heaven , remember the Beatitudes. An that is all good and true. But it doesn't help me in the here and now. I can't really point to scripture to figure out what one is supposed to do when face with long term unemployment, health problems, and lonelieness, depression and anxiety issues. An don't bother responding with how you don't agree or dislike religion, im not interested. You can go hug yourself if ya wana spin this off into that direction.
My only hope for today is that after roaming around the house for a bit that i crack open the garage an get some work done, n break out a few more Christmas decorations, and maybe get some fuel stabilizer for my lawnmower.
@originalscreenname I think it's great to practice religious or spiritual beliefs if they help you. I'm sorry you don't feel like they're as helpful in the here and now, and it must be frustrating that your siblings don't want to share the responsibility or have as much of a part in your mother's life. I hope that you accomplish your goals for today - if you do, take a moment to revel in that fulfillment of them and maybe do something nice for yourself? Small things count, too!
@originalscreenname
I'm so sorry you're struggling. This is a difficult time of the year for a lot of us.
I am glad you're planning on doing some work in the garage. Maybe a project will help, even if only for a little while.
@originalscreenname I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, I can understand where you're coming from & it's a heavy burden to try & carry all alone. I've been having a rough time as well & struggling with my faith as well. If I can't give any good advice, just remember this- we may not know each other but I'm here for you. It's times like this we need to stick together because the struggle is real & nobody should feel alone. I know what you mean by your thoughts bouncing around & sometimes the most terrifying place to be is our own minds. It helps me if I find some kinda funny YouTube video or something like that to help bring in e humor. Maybe you could try that. As far as your faith, it's ok to not always be ok. God understands. He knew long before time that we would have our ups & downs & just know that He is always with you, even when it feels like He's far away. I hope I've been able to help you out a little, my advice giving skills aren't the greatest in the world haha but I still try. I'll be praying for you. :)
Do you have any Blue Christmas or Longest Night services by you?
I know that would be a little ways away still, but often the message at those isn't as simple as 'Trust in Jesus'.
I appreciate the well wishes and sympathy, I did get to work in my garage today, joke was on me, i cut the wood too thin and as i was carving it snapped ! adios to two nice pieces of cherry wood. luckily it wasnt too big, and i managed to go to the pet store and get my sister and brother law some nice dog gifts for their animal companions, so that will cheer them up n we gotta get them some stuff too, n they will have a great Christmas !
its just tough all the time for me, things just extra tough at this time of year. New Years eve is no fun for me either.
