My diary
I guess i always wanted a diary. I never really wanted anyone to read it. If I were to get a notebook as a diary, then my parents would see it and anyone can see it. But For some reason I want people to see it. I want people I don't iknow to see it. I always feel alone. I'm always bottling things a lot so writing or typing things down helps me, when music and paint fail me. I'll post whenever i feel like it i guess. Please don't respond or comment or do anything... Take care and Stay safe. At the very least try to i guess...
so we both know that i'm a massive idiot right? yeah okay, so yesterday when I was trying to find a listener to talk to, there was this one I met and well he was doing to do, and I decided to just find another one. The new one I got helped me, but the previous one kept trying to make me talk with him. Anyways, it ended with listener no.2 helping me with my problem and me and listener no.1 exchanging instas, and I helped him do the do, by acting out his fantasies through text... I feel like a massive idiot... and I regret doing this, I want to get out of this situation, but I don't know how. Please help? If anyone sees this...
@HappyLily291125 Hey Lily! Thank you for making this post. Please remember that sharing offsite contact isn't allowed in our platform. All contact must be kept in the 7Cups site for your own safety and anonymity. I would recommend you block and report this Listener (in 7Cups), as it's not appropriated to expect you to share info and engage into sexting with them, as well as blocking them outsite, so he can't contact you again. Our mission here as listeners is to provide support professionally and members are here to be helped, I'm sorry you came across a situation like this. We're here to help you out.
@Mel Thanks for replying, I know it's against rules and I regret doing it. I'll do better next time. Thanks for giving instructions on how to deal with this, but how do I explain to them? I don't know, I usually give explanations to people before I block and report them.
i officially cut ties with them and deleted that insta account I made, I only have my usual one now ^^
So um, it's been a whole year since I joined 7 cups. A lot happened, good and bad, but it's part of the learning process right? I'm so grateful for all the love and support I received from both listeners and members here. I met so many cool and kind people as well as some who've been not so nice, but that's okay. it's part of life isn't it? Well.. erm yeah that's just it. Just wanted to mark it ^^ okay umm bye now
Im soooooo happpyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I am going on a sort of date with yn crush on tuesday and i cant stop smiling ^^ obviously we're going to take all the precautions to not catch covid and keep our distance, but we'll be hanging out at the mall to get some stuff for school and i cant stop smiling and i think this is the best thing that has happened this whole montha dn cant stop smiling and aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh im soooo happpyyyyy ^^
anyways take care and stay safe and stay strong and hang on!!!!
@HappyLily291125 Hey there, glad to see you in a good mood. Have you two have fun on Tuesday. Best wishes!
I'm still realllyyy happppyyyyyyyyyy
So it went amazing! Except the part when I wasnt able to sleep the night before and ended up sleeping very late and waking up at the time when we were supposed to meet up, but she was very understanding and knows about how bad my sleep can be and how bad I can be, in a mental way. We got some earrings together and some new clothes. We exchanged snacks. I made her cupcakes and she made me cinnamon rolls (mini ones "so cute") and we laughed and had such a great time. It was overall one of the best experiences I've ever had. She's an amazing and understanding and beautiful person and I am so happy to have her in my life. Even if we're just friends and not girlfriends ^^ Just having her with me makes me so happy and bubbly inside and aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh I think i'm really in love omggggg
Anyways, Take care and stay safe and stay strong and hang on!
byyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee
im strating school tomorrow and I dont think im ready for this mess. I wont even get to see my best frienndddd T^T
this school year is going to be such a mess
we're having our first gym class of the year and I am terrified of people seeing my scarsssss
and we'll have to run 2 kilometerssss
T^T
the results came out negative. My friend's grandma is okay now...
i think i'm slipping again
and I actually thought i was getting better
fuck
@HappyLily291125
This hug is for you :)
@Exulansis00
thanks, it means a lot.
A good thing that happened today was that I was able to talk to my crush for a bit in the morning after she prepared to head to school. We talked about guy issues and well issues in general, but we ended up laughing a lot at our antics.
At some point I think she flirted/teased me a bit? And I think I may or may not have had a gay panic moment. It was just so funny and I was just sitting there trying not to run laps around the house to calm my nerves.
She's just the most sweetest and kindest person I've ever met and I'm glad I have her in my life. Too bad it would be difficult if we actually became girlfriends, with covid and us going to different schools and such. it's a pity, but I'll take what I can get ^^
we can all agree i am clearly mentally unstable and in need of therapy right?
so it wouldn't be a surprise if i just mysteriously dissapeared right?
it's to be expected right?
i've tried many times before.
so it wouldn't be anything new.
i'm just tired of living like this
Hey there @HappyLily291125 *offering safe hugs*
I have just skimmed through this thread and I can see that you are going through some really tough things at home. I know it can certainly feel hopeless and I honestly can perfectly umderstand you being tired of it. To just go through all this, it just shows so much strength already.
Therapy, for me, was a real hit and miss kind of a thing as well. I haven't had the best of experience with it at first with quite many therapist, it really took a while to find the right one...and even then, I have felt like I am not in the right place mentally for it. What I am trying to say tho is, that I think therapy is always worth an other try, in my opinion.
Also, I just would like you to know that we do care about you here, a lot, and if you would to be disappear, we would miss you a lot as well. I know that all that you are going through can just be exhausting but we are here for you and together we can get through this - I believe in it anyway and I believe in you.
@redmark
thanks.. i know you mean well, I just don't want to owe my parents anything more than I already do. I'm planning on seeing my school's counselor sometime this week. I've never had good experiences with adults in general so...
but thanks for the kind words, they mean a lot
@HappyLily291125
I dont think you are unstable. That is just a label. I think you are a human being having human experiences and learning how to travel the road of emotions and life circumstances. We all are stuggling but only the brave will tell you ( e.g. like you). The internal conflict is much more difficult to handle than the external ones. Take things one day at a time. Think about how this day can be made into something decent. Each decent day adds up. Then when you look back 5 or 10 years from when you started that, you will see change. Remember you are amazing for your endurnace.