Ni's Little Solace
Not sure why I am creating this thread exactly, and I'm doing this so late at night as well :') I just felt... like I should do this haha. I do have a one line a day thread although I... don't think I have felt so free over there to write as much as I wished. So I thought maybe... I should just make another thread, a diary perhaps.. where I can really be myself.. and maybe post pictures and quotes, literary quotes maybe... and poems.. specifically haiku hehe. Also vents.. thoughts and maybe letters :')
Replies are welcome as well <3 although please remember to stay respectful and kind.
*sending lots of love and hugs because why not*
@LoveMyMoonflowers 122 degrees?! O M G! Yeah that's way way WAY too hot! Holy moly! You'd like it here lol - especially if you like the cold. We're at freezing temps today but I think a little warmer tomorrow
I always worry I'll offend someone because I'm a meat eater lol 😅 Food can be complicated. I hope I'm not triggering you if you have an ED. I know I have a complicated relationship with it myself
Woohoo ! You put the pro in procrastination 😊 Sometimes it's just hard to figure out how to start something. Energy plays a part in it too and sometimes we just don't have the energy to do it
It is kind of weird when it actually works but it has been nice today. Gives me a break from my thoughts when it works
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah Soul. 122 degrees fahrenheit. 😀 awesome right? /sar lol it really is way way way too hot :') it’s the worst in august. at least we have air conditioners but… T^T it’s the kind of heat where - if you go outside and stand there, if you do nothing, just *stand* there you’ll start sweating really badly in a few minutes 😭
ah that reminds me of a time we had no electricity for a few days in our apartment… :’) in like… august. the heat was crazy. we had to move to another apartment for a while.
that’s ok that’s understandable 💙 i think we always tend to worry if we are saying the right thing, or if we say the wrong thing at the wrong time :') or if we mentioned something about ourselves that might offend someone else T^T it happens. but it’s okay you didn’t offend me at all. 💜
no it’s okay that wasn’t too triggering… food is complicated for me too tbh. idk…
yep, lol. i’m amazing at procrastinating. and yeah energy really does play a huge part in it… i think especially with depression it’s hard to have the energy to do things.
it would feel weird 💙 but i guess we just have to be grateful for it when things work out ok or better than we expected. 💜
i’m glad it gives you a break from the thoughts :’) 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers Air conditioning would definitely be a must that's for sure. Weird question - is it humid? I guess dry heat is different from what I heard but idk. It's hit triple digits here with the heat index but idk how they figure all that out
@mytwistedsoul
yeah it does get very humid :') oof imagine triple digits in celsius lmao 💀
in all the apartments we have lived in…… they always have the windows in weird places. like really weird corners, it’s like the window is there for no reason. :’) it’s just weird. and if we kept the windows open then T^T it would just be the merciless summer sun shining in. lol.
yeah 💙 in those situations we can just apologise 💜 sincerely 💙 and hope the other person understands.
depression is ***. :’) it sucks in general and it does suck the energy out of things. out of people. :') mmm….
hehe i’m not sure how to not be hard on myself. That’s hard. it feels easier to be hard on myself than to be gentle. Idk.
@LoveMyMoonflowers Ikr! Ugh humidity is horrible
@mytwistedsoul
humidity is blehhhh. and that’s literally how it feels like when you go outside and it’s really dang humid….. blehhhh. 🥲 lol.
no the windows are like afterthoughts. like… let’s create a room… and let’s finish the room but oh! we forgot the windows! we can just add them here xD not sure if that’s how it was for the architects but it does feel like that :’)
mhm 💙 reminders are good. 💜 i guess sometimes just remembering that there are people who care helps :') like maybe we can try to be gentle with ourselves for them 💙 they care about us and want us to be safe… to be gentle with ourselves the way we might be gentle with a friend. 💜 mmm :’)
Am i the only person who opens a new tab with the same post…. when replying to posts. like as a reference 😭 so i know what to reply to bc i forget so easily 😭
that didn’t make any sense but 😭
@LoveMyMoonflowers *looks around guiltily* uh lol nope! Although I use a note app alot of times because it saves it automatically. I got tired of things I wrote getting deleted if I forget what I was doing and walk away lol
@mytwistedsoul
it’s not fun when it gets deleted :') sometimes i write a huge reply and it gets deleted and i just end up feeling tired and don’t reply……… 🥲 mmm that’s not too good idk lol
@LoveMyMoonflowers Yeah omg definitely. Even if you do try again it doesn't have the same feel as the original did. And it gets frustrating. Took a few deletions before I realized I needed to do it differently
@mytwistedsoul
yeah exactly it’s so frustrating. 😭 it’s like afterwards your brain decides your just not in the right mood or the vibes aren’t just right anymore :')
lately i’ve just been keeping my replies short with some things :’) i really don’t have much left to say….. about anything…..
@LoveMyMoonflowers It's ok to have short replies. Sometimes there isn't much that can be said. And sometimes the conversation can drain us more - especially if we're trying to be supportive and up lifting
There's a person here I talk to that really drains me sometimes. He's a awesome guy and he's dealing with a lot but when I don't have the energy for myself but try to support him it reaches critical levels and takes me days to recover
Its ok to be quiet. It's ok to have to take a few steps back from someone to look after yourself. I know it's hard though and well - I know it makes me feel like a terrible person when I do it but you have to take care of you first before you can take care of others 💙
😅 I didnt refer to this and just wrote directly lol - let's see if I stayed on track 😅😅
@mytwistedsoul
True. 😞 Conversations can be super draining - especially, idk, when your supporting someone/ trying to support them and it’s entirely one sided….. :’) so it’s just a give, give, give and get exhausted thing - not a give, receive, give, receive thing 💙 those kinds of conversations/ friendships here are less draining i think. :’) 💜
thank you friend :’) 💙 i hope your trying to apply that for yourself too though…? 🥺 your right - it’s hard 💜 to take care of ourselves first, to set healthy boundaries, to take some time away/to take some time for ourselves. I think oftentimes one thing that might go through our heads is….. why do i matter? lol :’) idk, i think we have better opinions of others…. we seem to think others deserve support, care etc more than we do.
or maybe i’m just talking about something completely unrelated :’) just a thought 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers I think for the most part it's supposed to be give and receive. Like you and I are doing now. I mean we all have days when we need to be on the receiving end but when it happens all the time - Everytime - we kind of start to dread talking to that person. Because they can start to pull us down. Especially if we're struggling with our own things too. And we're often afraid to even say anything to them because we know that they'll feel bad and we don't won't them to feel worse. They may not even be aware of what they're doing. Or maybe they are - Idk. I see it a lot here 😕
@mytwistedsoul
I agree completely 💜 Idk it sucks if/when people do it intentionally. :/ I’m sorry you see it a lot here. 😞 that’s not fun at all ):
meanie head :’) our heads can be so mean to us. idk one reason might be how others have treated us in the past, especially when we’re young/little children. :’)
i’m glad your trying but yeah i get how hard it is. 💙 i think most of us do struggle with it. :’) being gentle with ourselves……. it’s easier to be hard on ourselves because everyone was hard on us when we were little so…. :’) we might think that’s how, idk, how it should be or that we deserve it. we might end up thinking yk i don’t deserve any care like other people do so welp why should i be gentle with myself. T^T at least that’s what usually goes through my head. 💜
i’m going to have to do the exact same thing i did like two weeks ago.
welp.
@LoveMyMoonflowers Be safe ok? 💙
@mytwistedsoul
mhm 💙 i will
also that was just a thought i have no idea what i’m supposed to do now :') mmm
tw (?) sh
im 2 days clean. :')
@LoveMyMoonflowers That's awesome Moon 💙 Congratulations 😊
@mytwistedsoul
thanks soul 💙 :')
mmm… 😖
….
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Hehe Nii 🌙🥧☺
@VictoriaLove7
💖