Open to any replies: Diary of Polaris2088
Delighted to know about this venue within the forums. Can definitely understand if a moderator would message me after this to clarify things with me.
The present is the past rolled up for action, and the past is the present unrolled for understanding.-Ariel Durant.
@Polaris2088 It is a clever quote and I like it. But I feel sure it is being taken out of context. It comes from Will and Ariel Durant's book, The Lessons of History, where they seem to have meant it to apply only to historical research ("historiography"), and not to life as a whole.
It seems to me that if the present were only the past rolled up for action, we could never move on and nothing new could ever be created. We are more than our past.
Also, in the book the quote has quotation marks around it with a reference to where it really came from, but Google books isn't letting me see the reference to find out who originally wrote it.
By the way, what would you like clarified? You can message me, if you like and maybe I can help (but I am not a moderator).
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie Oh, and now I've read your profile I feel I should add that I respect your impatience. I always reply to any message as soon as I can.
Charlie
I am not too sure how to feel about, how from what I understand, whatever being posted on here not being subject to editing after posting.
The 'epistemic injustice' of 'a--holes past' disturbing me so much that words like 'want' and 'right' were scarred out of my vocab.
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@RarelyCharlie
The reply is appreciated not the least regarding the part about respecting my impatience. ;I Online journal like posting is something I have experience and feel different about in contrast to say the live-time experience of listeners or chat groups which has been checkered enough that I felt like adding the detail, I did onto my profile.
@Polaris2088
"..a materialism that takes subjectivity seriously."--Linda Holler.
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List of things which could have saved me a lot of time had I known about them before.
-Classism
-Attention span & it's meaning/mindfulness
-Alan Watts and Paul Tillich
-Friendship
-What commitment means plus understanding expectations & priorities
-Qigong and yoga
-Stocks, high-finance and investing
-Addiction
-Pedagogy
-Cultural geography
-Sustainability
-Human rights & equality
-Identity politics
-Intersectionality
-Epistemology
-Linguistics and formal logic
-Art & mathematics
-Mathematical physics
-Hamartiology
-Humour theory
-Hermeneutics
-Emotional theory & theories of mind
-Film theory & animation
-Music history & theory
- Judith Butler vis a vis Gender theory et al
-'The three jewels'
-Meditation
-Veganism and nutrition
-Translation ability & Spanish
-Assertiveness
-Phillip Glass & jazz piano
List of things which could have saved me a lot of time had I known about them before in life, much earlier.
@Polaris2088
8-3-2k19
"I lose interest, I get bored b/c I'm not satisfied w/in ~5 minutes. Being right, mastery--attention is my mind; what do you expect? >:I
Overchoice, impatience, art.. =_= >:I I want to move the f---k out."
8-5-2k19
"Immortality is a good sedgeway to metaphysics b/c in it lays the significance of change."
"There is boredom resulting from torture as torture. The kind of boredom, I don't like is the kind/when you know your going to do something in the near future but 'in the meantime' you can't find anything substantial to do b/c (i) what you might wind up doing may entail indeterminate but possibly heavy effort investment and hence winds up/ is at risk of becoming a distraction or commitment which is barely justifiable. That is the sort of boredom I hate. Taking too much @ once, much?."
"the 'Pitch perfect' app cannot be done sans 'emptiness w/an insistence'/ 'boredom'. Not letting those defn's slip is preventing danger but/and letting them slip, lets me enter a realm o'initiative for risk-taking and apparently one of the common ones at that.
Better than outright depression. Facile.
What s--ks about you is even moments, rarefied moments where emptiness can become serenity, you have 'stockpiled stuffing'.
"Remember how De Botton asked to see success as signs of taken for granted mental illness & pressures? [a reference to this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvgfucVF5cU]--colonialism, expansionism.
The divide between the addicted and educated.
Manners are important, respect is important b/c there are some culture w/no real concept of money."
Irl journal excerpts.
7-20-2k19
"There's nothing wrong w/it. It's about where you align it.".
8-3-2k19
"Figuring out when to read something meaningful (ex.sacred literature) is tricky."
8-9-2k
"Not having self-trust/confidence to overcome as a factor in the anxiety o'learning curves.".
8-10-2k19
The Rube Goldberg machine that is my cognition when it comes to socializing/friendship.
8-11-2k19
Recreational content or studying: I hate doing both @ home.
8-12-2k19
"Going from an understanding based on Absolutes to inevitable nonduality is going to be rocky"
8-12-2k19 & 8-22-2k19
"^ Words = ^ pressure".."Whence no pressure."
8-14-2k19
"Feel something! Don't give into apathy! Apathy is downright immutability!."
8-15-2k19
"The dark truth about life is that whatever you have @ your youngest is your most optimum. Everything after is decay, addiction & it's intra-risk management. Sans effort/blood intensive tribute the only change afterwards is decay, addiction & intra-risk management; realizing this & not taking inaction on it is..
I strongly think that shame is one of those emotions which has yet to fully, authentically & 'successfully' be secularized."
"#posthamartiology"
"We can only ever understand things in terms of staticity. Change is sacred."
"I like to think how *when it comes to the pre-social media ethos of the 00's we consider the pt., the date range when urban populations exceeded rural populations globally to be as important if not more so than 9-11.
*the day in late June '08 when I saw a 'Spectator' front pg.".
"When you realize how the most bombastic depictions o'crime are of *blue-collar* crime not white collar crime."
8-16-2k19
"When defying .b.s. socially endorsed apathy is considered shock value & something you can be reprimanded for."
8-17-2k19
"I can't see you becoming an addiction o' 'substance x' b/c I can't see you undergoing the risks to attain 'substance x'. Not being able to take risks is why your addicted in the first place.".
"I reject patience w/life b/c life has no patience w/me."
8-18-2k19
"What makes you so smart is the alleged fact that you do non-repeatable work. Most, labour theory & human experiences only likes to work w/in the confines o'what is known, expected, can be enacted on & be improved on only when discomfort, noncomfort is highly minimized,right?."
8-20-2k19
"You need to learn to x before you can y & once you learn to y you still need to be able to x in order to y."
"Fukio Mitsuji"
8-21-2k19
"I can now verify that for me pt. o'the appeal of games is pre-Gen.V sprites."
8-22-2k19
"Investment makes more sense in art."
@Polaris2088
Addiction to commenting.
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Ask yourself ~if my life became a movie would I like lots of special effects in it? and you might know where youre headed..
How many of these music pieces probably have their own wiki- articles?.
1. Mahler - Symphony no.5 ,2. Bach - Mass in B minor ,3. Brahms - Violon Concerto, 4. Ravel - La Valse, 5. Richard Strauss - Death and Transfiguration ,6. Shostakovich - Symphony no.5, 7. Schubert - Trout Quintet, 8. Stravinsky - The Rite of Spring ,9. Debussy - La Mer and 10. Tchaikovsky - Piano Concerto
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u-ArrlNPzY
According to this video here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q0BrTKK6gk) are a recommended 'standards' for jazz..
#1 Take The A train
#2 Cantaloupe Island
#3 (The) Blues
#4 Satin Doll
#5 Blue Bossa
#6 Autumn Leaves
#7 Perdido
#8 Summertime
#9 Solar
#10 All Of Me
One 'useful sedgeway' in regards to immortality.
8-5-2k19
The difference btw boredom *and restlessness*
@Polaris2088
Programmer artist. Programmer artist. Programmer artist. Programmer & artist.
It was a mistake to not let science remain entertainment.
If the ‘New mutants
Thinking back to the unhealthy state of mind I was in when I went to see 'Suicide squad' in theatres (there was a specific mental health service provider, I was seeing at the time), I won't deny how my state might have worsed if Cara Delevingne's character/'the Enchantress' sacrificing her life during the throw-down around the end of the movie had been permenant. It was a lackluster movie which I already commented on; imo it's going to be more fair to compare Phoenix's 'Joker' to Cameron Monaghan than Ledger's or Leto's.
Will neuronormatives ever understand the autistic struggle w/proprioception?.
If I could make videos like the 'Youtube rewind' videos at the end of the year about apparently significant Youtubers/events, if I had to be honest about past influences on me..
-the 'Green brothers'
-Ollie Thorn nee Lennard
-Larry Williams (Otakuassemble)
-Csandreas
-Fantasma monitor (one of the more stimulating Hispanic Youtubers imo)
-Mike Rugnetta
-Doug Walker (pre-2k18 #savethechannel fiasco)..Bennet White and Kyle Kalgren included
-Wisecrack, pre-'mainly Jared eventually getting the hang of video essays' days
-'Nerdwriter1'
-Every frame a picture/Tony Zhou
-Lewis Bond 'Channel Criswell' days
nowadays..leaning more into 'newer faces'
-Daidus
-JJ McCullough
-Itxel Simental
-Twoset violin/Brett Yang and Eddy Chen
-Mexie
Art || Entertainment
____________________________|| __________________________
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8-23-2k19
"Peanuts meets Earthbound.
I do like the overview worldview & movement old games, sidescroller or not but w/out enemies to take out.
There is such a thing as taking drugs/addiction 'b/c you' can't take risks.
Switching film theory for video games.
Switching literary theory for friends.
Switching religion for understanding andra-/pedagogy.
What a transition.
Being in love/having feelings for your confessor."
8-24-2k19
If inducing final changes is so neccesary for a game, do it whence the aesthetic is 'cute' (ex. Kirby or Rainbow island games).
If you could travel back in time & find yourself watching your favourite animations, friendless & w/out an internet comment section what would you do differently?.
It wasn't that the 'old, same stuff' worked better. It was that you were never on equal footng to your overlords even though
you ought to have been w/ what you already had!
Passive microaggressions.
Dropped politicization, remaining out of politicization & dropped into mere artistry.
Remember what [..] said about "giving them your power"?..you can't really reciprocate, in the interest o' assertiveness you can't reciprocate until you have a guarantee that will be something they will do as well. It's sad b/c stagnation doesn't end, doesn't stop until someone or a fair amount die.
Trashiness: =~= when is it that I first starting hearing about classmates watching 'South park'?. When is it that I first starting hearing about classmates watching 'the Simpsons'. One day I'll come up w/something which satirizes how ironic it was that followers of such shows (or at least a fair amount) became the embodiments o' apathetic self-deception making the human experience so unpleasant, which is something the shows highlighted in the first place--https://youtu.be/NQ6P3E9ikJs?t=164.
I hate >~< >:I it when indeterminacy translates as 'exploitative opportunity' in some person's minds.
[Wikipedia, under 'In the news' heading]
"Brazil's National Institute for Space Research announces that it has detected more than 80,000 wildfires in the country since January, at least 40,000 of which have occurred in the Amazon rainforest."-sadness
8-25-2k19
Unabated berating.
Having worked at a library I can see how the de facto catering is (i) very young children, (ii) elederly ppl who don't quite embrace 'new media', (iii) an occasional ESL like learner, (iv) those who actually do follow 'pop lit', fictional or non-fictional and (v) more seldom than I would like someone with a 'literati' like leaning.
I can't say this is immutable.
8-27-2k19
How often does 'funding artists' pop up in the 'when I become rich' fantasies of ppl?.
Friends or pornography addiction.
Don't enlist in a religion out of guilt.
Overchoice makes me finally take action.
Corporate inertia.
Is it too much to ask for, to admit shamelessly to be friendless but still expect respect?.
8-28-2k19
My media consumption..rates & diversity.
Lujo, luxury and lust.
8-29-2k19
I like starch roots.
In light of the past ~3 days o'experiences, I can say how I don't like using camomille as a 'sleeping aid', winter might be different.
'Letting others help you'~.i.e. ..friends.
8-30-2k19
Really wish there was a Phillip Glass equivalent for Native music."
"Even introverts aren't immune to 'craving for attention' & when that happens the fact of extroverts & 'only extroverts' gaining energy or momentum from other ppl is put into question.
Irl journal excerpts
Erotic morality by Linda Holler p.173, "--.., to use Marx's language a materialism that takes subjectivity seriously."
"Marx wrote in his Theses on Feuerbach (the philosopher who said we are what we eat), "The chief defect of all hitherto existing materialism..is that the thing, reality, sensuousness, is conceived only in the form of the object of or contemplation, but not as human sensuous activity, practice, not subjectively."- Linda Holler p.203.
Karl Marx, "These on Feuerback", in Basic Writings on Politics & Philosophy: Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels, ed. Lewis S. Feurer (Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday & Company, 1959), 243
"Maybe when I ponder or seek out about 'power structure deficiencies' it's like thinking about dog fighting (Adrian Brody was in a movie about that [a reference to 'Bullet head']. You can ponder about it, you can look up about it but it gives you chills to think of [nickname of family dog] involved in that."
--8-8-2k19 diary excerpt.
https://tricycle.org/trikedaily/cursing-buddhism/
Alain De Botton's gentleness is such that I would trust 'the school of life' channel to make a video explaining the/a meaning of/for responsibility which doesn't wind up being commanding or 'freedom imposing'.
I like this youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBGPPOAPN97skbOnih9v76w
The idea of calling myself 'the golden despair' comes from one of the titles of (King) Ghidorah in ~'Godzilla [Earth]: Planet eater'.
'_' Hmmm....waiting for a good video essayist to point out how it was a deconstruction of the kaiijuu genre going more into the meaning of what is a monster rather than 'Pacific rim'-esque expectant anime fights which I can definitely understand as having been a pt. of polarizing disappointment for many.
It's justified imo; Godzilla is the 'progenitor' of that kind of visual/action aesthetic as much as the Looney tunes were to the history of Western visual humour in animation (and even in anime as well)--hence 'the G-man' should be given a break or allowed to experiment given the developmentally accumulated laurels and how there is never really any shortage of other sources for predictable-ish but thrilling bombastic depictions (looking at you 'Legendary studios' take).
The things said by Metphies while in Haruo's mind and when moribund could've come from Ligotti imo.
It used to be that when I sought to hear something meaningful but perhaps beyond my understanding I would watch something science related. Increasingly it is music (theory) instead.
I don't like Jasmeet Singh/'JusReign' for how I think he makes an identity (Youtube one) out of his inferiority complex but I do see Kanwer Singh/'Humble the poet' as his effective antithesis in how he approaches self-improvement.
I love Impressionistic music (ex.DeBussey and Ravel).
Modern concert music -- sound design.
Funny how the way others laugh catches onto me.
'~' *Ugh* >~< ,shouldn't have read about 'It: chapter 2'.
Economies w/in video games.
^_^ I *love* Meowth
I feel ashamed for my decreasing interest in hearing about school system struggles. Learning is not the same as education, true but not hearing out the labour investment process struggles of those who are going through stuff which screwed me over in it's unneccesary interpersonal .b.s. feels shameful to me almost bordering on abandonment and I don't even have kids.
Realizing what pedagogy means to me.
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Yes, I do crave attention.
Mi ultimo problems real es moviendome.
El fenomeno Baader-Meinhof no applica a la matematica ;I .
Cuando se trata acerca de la psciologia de religion, hay algo que podria see dicho acerca de como algo a este effecto es un factor:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmzh5MBhYuQ
I f—g hate [last name ‘civics and careers teacher].
*solo* a..
Like the three heads of Ghidorah: Ichi (the middle one), Ni (the right one) and San (the left one)
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Like the three 'heads of communication' within me: English, Spanish and non-verbal.
Austin Lockwood of 'Lockstin & Gnoggin' can be added.
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So can 'Tale foundry'.
In hindsight I'd add Chad Nikolaus and Angie Griffin, the 'Screen team' duo b/c they were fun to watch.
Looking back and wondering if it would have helped to add labour economics to that list.
" " hurt " ".
Consumer and labour economics.
In a sense I forgot to mention something very important to the list which can't quite be placed in a one to two words: the ability to drive or that is to say the sustaining of a lifestyle which would assure I would not be compromised cognitively nor physically (ex.eye health) in terms of being able to operate machinery of the vehicular sort, most competently.
Understanding the significance and nature of customer service
'_' d fudge yes
'Maybe' foreword to the listing posting which follows
'Successful people love to give inspirational quotes about trying new things and going out of your comfort zone, but it's one thing to do it willingly, out of a desire for self-improvement. It's something else entirely when you're told that everything within your comfort zone leads to homelessness.'-- Steven Assarian in https://www.cracked.com/blog/why-this-may-be-most-stressful-job-market-ever/
"Don't ask what the world needs, "ask what makes you come alive and go do that. "Because what the world needs, "is people who have come alive."--Howard Thurman as quoted by Henna Inam in 'Wired for authenticity'
[ Pursuit of talent > interest/passion (?)]
@RarelyCharlie
Extrapolation is progress. We notice smth, then we extrapolate to our condition or another domain. Who sticks to the words themselves never gets tge message or the contents. You want to keep the wrapping fine, others like exploring the contents too.
I think that in understanding the narrative crux and authorial intent at least, I might be a ' 'Gen.I' purist'. Originally it wasn't suppose to surpass ~2 yrs. --Pokemon.
Loved listening to the 'Kirby's 25th anniversary orchestra concert' by the Toky Philaharmonic Orchestra on Spotify.
Upon ~March 2020 apartment searching efforts will increase.
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Recreation. Re-creation.
I read the first 90 chapters of the 'Pokemon adventures' manga which ends with 'Green' making a msg-ing 'Silver' which ends all the Gen.I stuff. It was okay.
That response is different from the hyperbolistic replies that the manga is mindblowing. It isn't--true it is a fairly different beast from the anime with Ash )by like 225 degrees but it's only about +33 degrees different from the games*.
This person did an excellent review on the 'vibe' of the manga , but let me say that while it is fairly more serious it isn't as intense and story charged as say pre-Boruto era Naruto was. In the franchise **it is ultimately only a merchandise tie-in to what is lately been 'shaken' w/corporate policies come Gen.8, hence I would be ambivalent to say saying that it is on par Digimon and it's narrative explorations w/say the intensity of 'season three' and 'Tri'; thinking to what I've seen on Bulbapedia 'Red' hasn't been around since the manga equivalents to 'gen 3.5' (Fire red, Leaf green and Emerald). The main anime does ~'barely seem' like a 'Tree house' channel show by comparision but I would really only say that the 90 chapters I read are only about as serious as early 'Slayers' and 'Kenshin' was. Still cliche-ridden but like the main anime, earnest and sincere with such seeming simplicity, not like say how with Naruto and Bleach that drive to become more intense culiminatively was around from the beginning and drove the series to consummate the way they did by their endings--hence, the significance for reiterating**.
Compared to 'Gen.5' with 'N'..the whole 'humans must be eliminated for Pokemon to live peacefully and thrive, no longer having to battle' attitude with even got PETA's attention?..years ago, that was being done by the o.g. elite four in the manga equivalent to 'Pokemon yellow'. They are less 'top-tier commitee of athletes of a competive circuit' like in the games (Gen.I based games at least) and occasionely the anime but more like a 'think we're all that' clique with an agenda..this probably is fueled by Agatha's past particularly and her relationship w/Prof.Oak before they disbanded as scientists and questionable romantic partners. Imo that eventually kicked off the dominoe effect of 'playing the emotional strings' on a young Lorelei finding a sickened Seel in a polluted area and Lance finding a Dratini in a polluted area. Funny, how he was apparently born around the Virdian forest instead of Blackthorn city like I thought he was before, given that his cousin Claire is a gym leader there. Were I continue into the Gen.II stuff that might clarify. I don't know really how Bruno fits into all this.
*There is a reason why the rom-hack 'Pokemon adventures red chapter' was made
This person [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NkU9RNBjc 19:18 minute long video] did an excellent review on the 'vibe' of the manga'.
The attitude differences given to comic books v. newspaper comics.
@Polaris2088
A part of me feels like saying, a part of me feels like gushing about how the manga has the fun and sincerity of the early days of 'Kenshin' or 'Slayers' albeit with the a seriousness more akin to the movie specials if the plots were carried out over the course of 'episodes' (or chapters in this case) b/c of how 'legendaries' are more involved.
^_^ *This webcomic* encapsulates what it's meant to me to have loved Jpop culture as an adult including Pokemon..
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PopularityPolynomial
The manga more ‘cohesive
@Polaris2088 I had no idea that there even was a Pokemon manga. It sounds interesting--bookmarking the MAL page so I remember this exists the next time I feel like reading something new.
It's *not really* a 'bombastic power level one-upping adventure' shonen is what I meant to say for x,y and z reasons as stated in previous posting.
Heutagogia siempre fue lo correcto.
Let me say as someone who for yrs research into pornography in terms of sociology, neuro-effects, prevention etc that one reason I don't like the idea behind stuff like 'no fap' is b/c of how tries to pretend that the highly subjective and individualized nature of sexuality (for those of us who hauled through introspection heavily to understand it) can be overlook in some fairly important ways.
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I'm afraid that if 'the universe' gives me another great thing in terms of an appealing and affordable place ..I will be punished.
I feel less lonely when ppl reply to my stuff.
Reddit por Buddhismo.
What I kind of hate about this site is how when I see the avatars of listeners even from India, Egypt, Pakistan and parts of Europe is how that flightly, shallowly sociable, 20 something quasi-d--bag is the vibe I get from photos and I think to myself how doomed we are on a global scale if even among ppl who don't really speak English that has caught on.
The effort for apartment searching is going to -_-
suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccckk
..
