Open to any replies: Diary of Polaris2088
Delighted to know about this venue within the forums. Can definitely understand if a moderator would message me after this to clarify things with me.
...'assertiveness' can last minutes, it can take hours maybe even days of preparation. It exhausts and yet the 'mysterious cosmic impact' it can hold over me can last the reamining supposed decades of my life..
...the scowly self-decived 'working class' and other ppl I resent and meant to use school to utterly 'blast off and avoid' around me..I'm better than them..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66twZeBB1r8 ..."R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me"--Aretha Franklin...
=_= ...
227,760 of the former, of Franklin's request...and the promise of being an 'art hermit' is so choosen by me..
...b/c when it comes to that s--y excuse for nihlism that so many pick, that destructive inertia of apathy *, of not caring..
*I friggin need to 'pull myself together' for an upcoming class I picked out of leisure to do..
..yeah,makes you wonder if non-snobby responsibility was ever a f--g thing...
..no stupid a-- power dynamics to be addicted to but actually trusting others to 'be on their best'..
Japanese archery Zen master..
...no wonder all the mental and 'spiritual' preparation in Eastern martial arts..
if you in all sincerity *need* to throw down, you need to do it, have the assurance you are doing it for all the right reasons..
hence spirituality being put to an 'instrumental use'..only now being doubted by 'Buddhists extremists' in Myanmar in contrast to the centuries of the c--p--r fixations on finality and certainity, Abrahamic flavoured instituitionalism has had..
..but even in my ultimately non-finding-relevance-for-theism-mind..the sophomoric threat of commination misotheistically lurks..
.....in the past, it 'stretched out' even more when I pondered about the significance of forms of assisted death, not that it stopped when I do think about it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66twZeBB1r8
*sigh* what I get for being friendless ._.
typos, spelling mistaks, regrets, what I could have underlined, italicized and emboldened.
Guilt, 'Catholic or not'. Guilt. Guilt and grammar mistakes.
Almighty, all-punishing (G/g)od.