Open to any replies: Diary of Polaris2088

The Abrahamic religions are known to be very ‘institutional in their expression… The Abrahamic religions have become known to be very ‘institutional in their expression…very sociomechanistic…you would be hard pressed to come across the personal reveals/esotericism of a Kabbalist, a Rumi or a Meister Eckhart and expect that to have made for centuries of ‘guiding principles w/out heavy distortion or dilution to the level of lip-service for a sociomechanism which ‘tries too hard to stay relevant on the basis of factors infamously difficult for empirical verification or (where it counts) neurological significance/material implication (until you can get to the ‘baby in the bathwater which is some verified meditative practise…and yet again run into the problem of not having it surrounded by contrived embellishments of quasi-ideological articulation (.i.e. ‘doctrine))…..

………. …….. …….. …..when …….

..I struggle to meditate after ‘doing something bad…I sometimes think..or wonder…if my lack of..attention span?, commitment ?...might come from an aftermath of…what others thought religion/spirituality was, what religion/spirituality was meant to mean via the ‘constructs of others in round-about ways…

Ex. I return from a long trip outside and tell myself to sit down and breath for what feels like, is meant to be ~5 minutes…I get up ~2 later telling myself…wondering back to how inauthentic, how ‘faithless my adherence to (Catholic) church practises was on several levels..that me getting up to do something else after barely practising mindful breathing for ~2 minutes is a fasimile of what I often felt like doing in the past—rejecting ‘what passed for religion or spirituality (Catholicism) and ‘live to tell about it, without judgement or commination..

That time I watched a Gabriel Iglesia stand up special and someone who used to be a soldier thanked him for ‘keeping him alive while on tour '_' ..

I prepared some food (oatmeal) w/low amounts of a camomile containing tea b/c of a near 'cheesecake lapse'....=~= aughk, do I wish for my dad to not return not sober after being w/his friend.

Hard to not compare your questionable addiction to a parent's.

November 21st-25th 'chosen dates'.

Reminder: considering the annoying presence of dog waste, imperative to buy a new mounting for the mop if not an entire mop is neccesary.

When you feel like calling everyone an ignorant s--thead.

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Pornography will done, psycho-somatically f--k you up @~@ #~* ..

Long since realized how damaging it can be to idolize a think..but Alfred North Whitehead, b/c he made it so that when it comes to divine attributes, omnipotence isn't a thing (process theology).

__

Will I live healthy long enough to look through him?, is he relevant?..

I 'take on too much' to prove to myself that I'm not feeble even w/my scrambled psychopathology..menos que 48 horas hasta trabajo.

._. Swear there need to be survival manuals written for when you aren't really able to move out and still in your late 20's.

In the interest of disattachment from these journals, I mean to close this account. *Mainly* in the interest of disattachment from these journals, I mean to close this account. I expect to be back.

I am glad to be home...it is a mess, an earthquaque, tsunamis and a couple of hurricanes, tornadoes and cyclones and wild fires and volcanoes...etc.

Let's clean up this mess, I am home again...

Cliffhangers are those who never give up and cling to the cliff whether their hand is frozen, you stomp on it or light it on fire, they cling to the cliff...

These flowers are cliff hangers, way up they live where only mountain eagles make their nests...

Well, like someone once said, you are not happy to see me, but I am happy to see you...