Polaris 2088: open to replies

Bought an extra GB of device data ~2 hrs before current Cgogeco WiFi (re)installation.

One things which has always bothered and which find ‘stupid w/the ‘move out and live in residence to go to a postsecondary school* notion, is that it sort of implies that it is only when you are ‘18+ that your job as a student is recognized, that being a student is a job is accepted and recognized…

..b/c if your going to ‘work as a ‘scholar than it is only than that apparently you are recognized as ‘deserving your own space b/c of that role officially recognized upon you..

=_=..makes me wonder if students are so important for a society ytf is it in that case that for pre-18+ age students the notion of being sent off to boarding schools for months on end became/apparently went out of vogue.

Etc,et al millennial achings about the deterioration of pedagogy and its compatability w/labour markets or at least what it used to mean etc, et al

Then theres the d—n ordeal of finding such living space again in ‘an environment where you feel comfortable..

p.244 ‘Words without music by Philip Glass

During one of our working days together, I said to Richard, You know, Richard, I wish I could draw. I cant even draw a tree.

I can help you with that.

Really? How?

Ill teach you to ‘see and then you will be able to draw.

Straightaway I had the following though: Drawing is about seeing, dancing is about moving, writing (narrative and especially poetry) is about speaking, and music is about hearing. I next realized that music training was absolutely about learning to hear—going completely past everyday listening. And that was, for Mlle. Boulanger and Mlle.Deudonne, the core of their training.

I never did get my seeing lessons from Richard, so I never did learn to draw. We were always busy with seeing his work, which I learned to do quite well. But the ability to see creatively, the way a visual artist could, always remained beyond my abilities. However, my future work in opera—using text, movement, image, and music—would place me in an active relationship with other seers and became a great source of growth and satisfaction.

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Tapoica pudding,rice pudding, ice cream, cheesecake—a few ‘junk foods I admit to not having as much of a problem yielding to, if only on the basis of the self-deception I tell myself about calcium present.

I have steadily come to learn, with regret induction have come to learn the significance of how once you draw or paint something and it was ‘okay to leave it there, let it remain ‘as is. The impulse to not* let certain media go to waste (ex.watercolor paint) by telling yourself that you will 95%+ of the time use the extra media on ‘if it aint broke, dont fix it imagery can (a) make for a misspent allocation of time and (b) makes you run the risk of ruining what is already there and habitualization a sort of ‘false commitment or ‘bad habit of distracting you from what was your initial or at least prior concern in doing art**

*A reason for me leaning more for *dry* (ex.pencil crayons) instead of wet media (like paint)

** b/c Im not the sort of who any longer like to be somewhat aimless while doing art and wind up w/say ~3 half-baked ‘tone studies w/watercolor instead of one maybe mediocre or maybe-better-than-mediocre mixed media drawing which I can learn to accept, to let it remain/be settled as either (i) a ‘finished product or (ii) something you would only really work on again when you are serious about making it what you will concentrate on focusing instead of ‘afterthought

Here I painfully learned that even I have to ‘let go of ‘muddied up paint saturated water , needing to implicit accept have a mainly mere dabbler like myself cant always expect every movement I do to be ‘unwasted so as to solidify the validity of practising b/c apparently ‘achievements are always around the corner if I use the extra leftovers on something else—

Ive risked ruining a few portraits this way..

Your not trying to make scrap paper look good—your trying to learn to draw better and for that you need the space of a new blank page sans the worries of wasting paper and harming the environment.

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"Suppose then that you are ready to take a certain amount of pains, and to bear a little irksomeness and a few disappointments bravely, I can promise you that an hour's practice a day for six months...some hundred and fifty hours practice, will give you sufficient power of drawing faithfully whatever you want to draw..."--John Ruskins

That is a difficult quote to commit to.

What am I about..

..being able to understand and expound on nuanced takes on scarcity and live to not be ashamed of being able to understand and expound on nuanced takes on scarcity..

..b/c 'revolution' can mean collective healing even while kyriachies exist instead of politicized resistance to unambigiously overcentralized government..a pt. of me sentimentalizes my journaling, what I do here as this

https://youtu.be/YYQKDqjCEBQ?t=360 esp. after the 7:56 part+

A few yrs ago more vividly, the media observations as to Hungary's bizarre reaction to Syrian refugees..on the one hand you can wonder "These ppl horrifically experienced being under the thumb of dictator ~80 yrs ago. How could they be like this towards others who are escaping horrifically experiencing being under the thumb of dictator?" and on the other you can say "These ppl horrifically experienced being under the thumb of dictator [only] 2-3 generations ago. How..?"

Human problem are family problems and family problems are human problems...individualism also has it's stark toxicity too..[if you want..calculate the how many total Hungarian politicians there are and it's near equivalence to the entire population of a city of about that amount..the average age range of Hungarian politicians..]

*sigh* `_` ..and the pt. of me which has to have maybe a 'Stoic' reaction, to a rxn of 'makes sense' when it comes to the thought of this how d--n difficult, how d--n obstinate it is for ppl and attitudes to change..and that it literally take waiting for entire generations, millions to pass away optimally, on good terms for valid and permeable term 'improvement' change to occur and remain.

I hate having to watch over a 'fur ball' not looked at often by my sister. One which grew attached to good human grade meat products like roasted chicken and rice who looks sad every ~20 minutes and who like long outings all the more to my chagrin in d--n winter.

I hate my sister's lack of responsibility and how the presence of this dog is a consistent factor to not feeling I get *quality* solitude w/out a feeling of guilt evocation esp.after the look of despair from being inactive (~every 20 minutes =_=..)..

Abruptly left, not telling dog to experiment using the SOBI bike system whilst in *early* winter. '#799'(?) made this uncomfortable noise when I turned the pedals which I swear sounds like the 'Godzilla charging atomic breath' noise from the recent 'King of the monsters' movie. It was not very comfortable in those barely dozen minutes--take into account stopping for traffic and slogging through slush and handling questionable traction and how much can you really say I biked for?.

Good for real deal 'transport' trips, not for exercising--need to understand the risks of uncleared roads and snow and ice based traction risks..switching btw sidewalks and bike lanes when there are cars or pedestrians incoming is still as annoying as ever..helps if the weather is not detrimental but 'static' in a way

--my opinion on biking in winter.

The origins of gambling addictions and reading a certain DA forum thread about inferiority complexes before it's taken down. Understanding a certain DA forum thread about inferiority complexes before it's taken down.

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I can now say after nearing completing one meager drawing intro class how I can understand the 'It took me four years to paint like Raphael..' pt. o'Picasso quote..like w/'Renaisannce masters', 'realism' isn't to difficult to achieve in the sense of 'foreseeable goals'...typing 'off the cup' somewhere in my notes, I noted my instructor saying something like ~'it's about knowing where to shade and to blur the lines/make the lines disappear'..

True it can take yrs to pull off consistent borderline photorealism but one thing, important thing which has come out of this is realizing after some fruitful practise*, realism achieving it in drawing doesn't seem as far-fetched and elusive as before. Btw that and a culmination of observational skill it makes sense how the culmination of years worth of a degree could be centered only for that outcome.

Now developing your own style, or what you can say is 'original expression' after the rigors of practise and it's formalities is a different narrative.

*=_= NEVER understate the conditions it takes to, the environment for doing that well.

When you enjoy the company of Spanish speaking users ..

I am smart in my own way...and I hate teachers...a lot....plus a fair amount of the concept of pedagogy.

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In the interest of saving someone time maybe when it came to the 'crashcourse philosophy videos' #'s 24 and 25 and ..what I understood by the end is that the world does indeed operate via soft determinism. *Human society* operates via soft determinism (the 'compatabilism' brought up in the video)...but that doesn't take away from the significance of how Patricia Churchland rejects the 'free will v determinism' arguement in favour of *control* explaining how 'as social animals' we are incliined to assign discredit or blame for occurences.