@imsorryitry
Please tell me you are okay!!! I'm worried about what you posted Friday!
Please check in!
@EnergySensitive
@EnergySensitive
im fine school just was cancelled 33 days now clean but i snapped my rubberband over and over till i bruised my wrist
@imsorryitry
Hey! How are you holding up?
@EnergySensitive
im fine rn i guess but my morning just started and on friday i burned my arm with a curling iron on purpose i held it there till my arm had like blisters on blisters so i just popped them all and eventually ripped off the blisters under it ... and it had like 2 layers of blisters but now its just like a bright green scab but ill be ok i guess ... i have a friend that burns herself so i thought ill try it it isnt as bad as cutting maybe so i tried it and i shouldnt say i loved how it made me feel but idk
@imsorryitry
I'm sorry you burned yourself, but I will not berate you, it happens. I was close also this past week. Start over, try again, you can do this!!!
Thank you for being honest! Please take care of yourself and keep in touch!
@EnergySensitive
i dont know kind of want to die
@imsorryitry
Ok. Take some deep breaths. Believe me, I've wanted to die nearly every day for as long as I can remember. But I have to think of the people in my life that it would tramatically effect. I know you don't care, but would you want your family to suffer every day of their lives. I would even be devistated and always question, what coukd I have done?? That daily wish to die is a hard feeling to ignore. The yearning is strong. The thought always there. I get it. Seriously, I get it all too well.
You are so young!! I believe in you and I don't even know you!! With your age, things could change!!! Don't let this illness take you over!! It's hard. I'm not preaching, just concerned. I should have faught harder at your age. Tell this horrible illness, that plays with our mind, and is invisible to everyone else, to F-OFF!!
Write to me when you have strong urges. Torture something else. A doll, I pillow, a dozen eggs, whatever you can do to get your feelings out!! And not out by self harm. Listen to this "old"" lady you don't know, please don't let it swallowed you!
I'm just concerned and worried and remember. I DONT KNOW YOU!, but I do care. It would hurt me if you checked out. Even if you feel no one else cares, I do, tremendously.
@EnergySensitive
thank you so much and your not old ... and yea i know you care alot and i love that you do but im honestly selfish sometimes im addicted to hurting myself in everyway because if im not hurting myself in one way its another so i choose burning or cutting not starving that much but i guess i love to see the actual scar and pain there
@imsorryitry
I wanted you to know that I think of you often. I worry about you. I was reading your posts and I am so sorry you struggle so much. I empathize and know the pain you speak of. I don't wish it on anyone.
Please try to eat! 150 calories a day is not substantial. Don't make yourself sicker, please. You have such a negative image of yourself, I do too, but it only intensifies every other emotion swirling in our heads. Take small steps. You are only consuming 13% of 2000 calories a day! Just TRY, to add some calories, please.
I just want to support and encourage you. I have very few supports but without them caring or checking in, I don't know where I would be. I'm not in a great place, but those check instead help. I've been asked to Pay it Forward and that's what I need to do. It helps me to feel better. So please, check in with me! If you would rather I leave you alone, I will respect that also. I'm not here to annoy you, or anger you, or bother you. I just want you to know that you are heard and someone cares about you 💓
Have a good Friday!!!
@EnergySensitive
I'm fine thank you. Sorry for the delay. Good job! 33 days!
@imsorryitry,
You are very welcome. I chose to be involved because I wanted to. I've been through it for so many years and I don't want you to do the same. I believe in you!
I'll be back later.
TAKE CARE!!!
ENERGY
