The story
Hello. So since this is supposed to be my life story, I'm starting from the beginning. I'm actually not that old, only 17.
Well I was born deaf into a hearing family. I remember having a pretty 'normal good' childhood, with ordinary ups and downs. Things just changed as my family and I moved and I started 5th grade. I got bullied for being 'different' and those people in my class and school treated me as if I was dumb. No one ever called me by my real actual name. I was just the 'deaf kid' or 'clown'. I guess lots of people been going through bullying, and I can just really tell that hurts, I was still kinda little, I wanted to play, have fun, laugh but instead I was sitting alone at school and didn't have any friends to have around in the afternoon.
Bullying continued until grade 8, then people stopped calling me those names but no one talked to me either so it's not like anything got better.
I really felt worthless and started doubting myself.
Around that time, I was about14, I developed some weird eating habits. I went from almost not eating anything, to eating really a lotbut then hating myself so it basically started again. It was a circle. I believed maybe if I was at least thin people would've accept me.
But all it did was tearing me apart, mentally.
The kindagood thing is I have it under control. I do have the thinking about what if I just be really thin, more skinny, but my habits are not that extreme anymore.
Isn't that a good thing?
Well now I'm in my last year of school and I still have no friends in school.
But I found a few in the basketball team I'm in.
And I started playing the guitar which is a really fun thing.
( what??, yeah right!no I can't hear what I'm playing, but anyway the feeling, holding it in your handsand just playing it is wonderful)
School is still like hell. It basically is hell.
But somehow I got some confident, I know a lot of people are just not educatedabout deaf culture, and well, some are just plain rude.
Even in my family there has been sayings like go 'fix yourself', 'fix the deaf'.
I'm not totally happy but not totally sad.
I'm 17, I'm still trying to figure out who i truly am, who I want to be, what I want to do later.
I just wish, no one would ever have to deal with bullying or any kinds of harassment.
So you cannot hear, but u seem like a very intelligent person. Kids in high school are especially morons. I was once a teenager. I wasn't a leader though. I was the follower. I had epilepsy (seizures) since I was 16 so .. that made me even more of a follower to fit in. I'm 29 now and with the things I know now .. I wish I knew these things back then. Don't worry what those kids think/say. They aren't paying your bills, doing your homework, making your choices for a career! Half the people I went to high school with who were popular are nothing today .. work at McDonald's and have 5 kids by 5 different fathers! You'll be great .. never stop dreaming .. and believe in yourself. One little imperfection isn't going to end any possibilities!
I agree with the above poster. It doesn't matter you are deaf. You sound like such a smart and introspective person.Highschoolsucks for most people. It's a tiny village filled with jerks on a silly hierarchy system. Everyone in there is still trying to figure out who they are and find a place of belonging and identity in a dysfunctional fluid culture. Kids are mean and bully other kids. I was bullied as well and it's horrible. Despite that know that things get better. You'll leavehighschoolbehind and maybe work or to go to college and meet people in a field where you have common grounds. If a lot of people are ignorant about deaf culture then maybe you can go on to teach others about it? I hate bullying, so I myself do a lot of activism work to try to change perceptions that are dysfunctional. This is my way of helping and giving back.
At 17 it is okay to still try and figure everything out. You aren't supposed to know the answers. But maybe you will one day soon. Keep exposing yourself to as many different things as possible. Try internships and job shadowing where you can. Watch videos and read. By experiencing lots of different things about the world you may just happen upon something you really want to do.
@realitydreams. You seem very wise for only 17 years old. I know a lot of people who were born deaf into hearing families. I took American Sign Language in college. I know that is a struggle based on what I've heard from other people. But despite everything it seems as though you haven't allowed it to stop you and you have come out stronger.
thank you for sharing your story with us here at 7 cups. I look forward to getting to know you better.
~Angel.
