my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times
The title explains itself.
If you're interested in the ramblings of a middle-aged man with chronic conditions who, at times, sees things a little too clearly for his own good, then read on.
Sometimes I get political, but it won't be all the time.
I don't mind comments in general but if you're going to differ with what I write, that's fine--as long as you can explain your position clearly & reasonably. Rants, shouting & general incoherence will be ignored or flagged, depending on the situation. Try to remember that not everyone else in this world holds your beliefs.
Every so often I may post art or snapshots of projects I'm working on.
If you're still interested after reading all the above, great. (I do wonder at how much time you have on your hands, though)
...am tempted to go to a walk-in clinic, for the pericarditis. It's not as bad as it was five days ago but it's still hanging on. I might go to a different one this time, as the personnel at my usual one will start to recognize me if I go there again.
...but first I must sleep.
Also I have a dilemma. A little moral quandary. Am not gonna lay it out here because I already posted it in my blog in the other online community I'm in. I'll check it in two to three days...there should be at least a couple answers from my followers by then.
'Scuse me while I crash.
@slowdecline48 Might not be a bad idea to get it checked
Uhhh - hopefully you crash a little more gently 😅
Please read above...
Oh f*cksticks...gotta sit down again. Just for a bit.
As of about a half-hour ago.
Currently waiting in the emergency unit of a local hospital. My usual place doesn't handle anything chest pain-related, so I went here. Stressful driving because rush hour.
As I'm nowhere near the worst-off patient here, I will have to wait for a while. 🤦🏼♂️
...Aurangzeb in a thong bikini, this is f***ing asinine.
Only other news is a bunch of upvotes from someone I don't know:
Thanks but why, @lovingThinker9432 ?
@slowdecline48 Me reading this: Write that down, write that down! — Aurangzeb in a thong bikini.
Also me: Wait, revise, revise! — Moses on a pogo stick.
PS - I hope you’re able to get checked out soon and that everything turns out okay.
@azurePond He's got some good ones! 😂😂
@mytwistedsoul I know... and it gets funnier every time! I never thought Aurangzeb and Moses could be used like that 🤣 Napoleon on a trampoline! (See, I am learning the art)
@azurePond Napoleon on a trampoline! That's a good one too! 😂😂 Jesus jumped up palaminos! They do get funnier that's for sure 😂😂
@mytwistedsoul 🤣🤣
@mytwistedsoul @azurePond Isn't creative cursing great? 😃 😆
@slowdecline48 it is! 😂 Hey it's good to see you. I figured they would run you through the ringer looking for answers but I was getting a little worried
@slowdecline48 Yeah... I am going to be an absolute menace with this newfound knowledge...
And how did the check-up go?
@azurePond I posted a journal entry about that. Did you read it? The emergency unit adventure was Friday afternoon/evening...I finally got out, got dinner & arrived at home (crackerbox aptmt home) around midnight. Saturday I rested because I was exhausted after all that nonsense.
(You can add "driving to the hospital during rush hour to the list of stressors. I stay off the roads from 15:30 to 19:00-ish for good reason)
@slowdecline48 That sounds really exhausting . I hope you’re feeling better after getting some rest. Take it easy!
@slowdecline48 Hope everything works out ok and you're doing alright! Looks like a quiet room you've got
@slowdecline48 yikes. Hope you feel better soon 😬
Update: After several hours in the hospital involving a chest X-ray, drawing blood for lab work & the usual waiting in a room & eventually dozing (among other things), the firmest diagnosis they could come up with is "nonspecific chest pain" 🤦🏼♂️
...which tells me nothing.
I need "nonspecific" "idiopathic" Dx'es like I need a hole in the head.*
However one of the nurses mentioned "pleuritis"...given my tendencies toward inflammation, I'm figuring that's most likely what it is. Either way, all I can do is keep swallowing NSAID tablets (acetaminophen right now) & wait for it to subside.
Was gonna load my truck & do another run today but after yesterday's adventure, I feel like roadkill...it can wait til tomorrow. (Also, today is technically Shabbat) For me that was more driving than usual, too...
*That might not be the best metaphor, actually...I would breathe a lot easier if one of my sinuses were widened or something. If it weren't for the medical risks & impossibility of finding a surgeon who would do it, I might even consider having my nose removed...if I had it done I'd have to wear a mask or something to prevent dust & dirt from entering the hole. No problem...might make the mask look like something from one of the characters in the "Street Fighter" video game.
...or maybe like Bane:
A still-relevant video despite its being over four years old, by a rather aware millennial: click here
Finally nodded out early in the morning, then woke up from a nightmare into a flareup...Batman's armored ball sack, I'm tired of this s***.
Haven't done much so far today due to the above (also because it was raining until around 4 p.m. or so--can't lug things down the stairs & to the truck in the rain), but I have been getting things done here & there. Am somewhat prepared for makeshift living on the land now...still need to do some more stuff.
All I really care about packing at this point are my hand & power tools, & my art stuff. Also the drafting table...moving that will be a b1tch. Should've hired some help for that but it's too late now. If I do it right, I'll get it to the truck & load it into the bed without hurting myself too much. But those are the only things I care about packing & saving now. I could let everything else go & not give a fart in a windstorm about it. The more you can simplify your life, the easier it is.
The pleuritis or whateveritis is still around. Gawdammit.
Forgot to say that the nightmare included a couple exploding cars. I hate car bombs. Terrorist outfits in the MENA region & criminal syndicates in Italy & Sicily like to use them.
...packing, packing....getting ready for another run to the storage unit, even though I have little energy for all this 🐂💩...Harley Quinn's cr0tchless hose, this is ridiculous....
Working on the land will be arduous...very difficult indeed. Getting things done there will not happen quickly. That much I know.
Guess I can rest when I make a couple calls & e-mail somebody after 1...
...my back wants me to lie down for a bit. Dammit.
I hate my body. Have hated it for years. It's a worthless bag of meat, bones & second-rate DNA.
If within the next decade biotech advances to the point where a container with sensory inputs can keep a human brain alive, I'm gonna be one of the first volunteers for the experiment. Honestly wouldn't mind inhabiting a robot body. It would sure as f**k be better than the one I was born with.
@slowdecline48 feel you...just had what you call a "flare up" 😮💨
@unassumingEyes Sorry to hear it, Eyes... Being chronic stinks, does it not?
Haven't got nearly enough done today, dammit...will see what I can do tonight. Til 1 or 2 in the morning, maybe.
...so I'm awake now.
Still some pain in the left side of my chest. Pleuritis or something. Also a bit dazed (which is not news). But I can prep my hand tools for storage, then pack 'em. What sucks is it's probably going to rain...might be able to toss a few things but it won't be a good day for loading the truck & driving to the storage facility.
Dunno why everything has to be this pus-nutted difficult these days. If the rest of the year is gonna go like this, maybe once I'm on my land I should just have a massive coronary & be done with it...let the raccoons, coyotes & vultures pick at my bones. Is there a way to purposefully induce a heart attack?
@slowdecline48 So uh yeah let's not become coyote chow please? 😅
@mytwistedsoul You summed it up, man..."yea & verily".
Also, let's call that force of capricious chaos by its proper name:
Murphy.
👹
@slowdecline48 Damn you Murphy! 😂
Damn right. Murphy is the Antichrist...in the Garden of Eden, the serpent's real name was Murphy.
Takin' a break before I start on the chisels & plane irons... As usual, I get more done at night. Not sure how this will work out once I'm on the land, since the only light I'll have most of the time is sunlight. (I do have homemade candles but those are of limited use...mostly for emergencies)
Something to be happy about: the current price of silver is about $34.76/oz. Here's how it's gone over a five-year period:
Metals are awesome.
@slowdecline48 
Metals are awesome. Amen.
As a follow-up to last Friday's hospital adventure, I have an appointment tomorrow with my GP doc...mostly to figure out what to do next. Even though I don't have time for this s**t, I'm doing it anyway.
...will probably end up throwing out a lot of stuff because of these interruptions.
As I said, I'm up for an experimental brain transplant into a better body if it ever becomes practical in my lifetime.
Slumped back in the old office chair...it's not going with me when I leave this place.
In a few hours will be that appointment with my GP. Figure she'll give me a referral to someone... When I was in the hospital after intake in the emergency unit, they X-rayed my chest. Said everything looked fine. But X-rays only reflect off solid things like bone or hard plastic or metal screws. Soft tissues don't show up. So I figure the next step is an MRI session in however many weeks from now.
...Christ on a f***ing pogo stick with Friar Tuck. ☹️ I hope it's just chronic inflammation of some organ or outer lining, & not something else.
@slowdecline48 X-rays are actually really helpful—they can detect lung problems (like shrinkage, fluid buildup or chronic conditions like scarring) heart conditions, structural issues or diaphragm abnormalities. And if the results come back clear, at least we can rule out these possibilities. So hang in there... Xrays are good. You have taken the first step in the right direction!
@azurePond Thanks, that's nice...the next step must be delayed, however. I just rescheduled the appointment to near the end of the month. Right now I need to rest; when I get up I have to pack maybe three more crates or so, then load the truck for hopefully the last run to the storage unit.
With my conditions as they are, I do not have the luxury of running around while the clock is ticking. The move-out date is within days now.
@slowdecline48 That makes sense—pushing yourself too hard right now wouldn’t help in the long run. Rest up and pace yourself with the packing. Take care!
I need sleep...only problem is there's no more time. I still need to rest right now.
When I do rest, however, the truck's back seat is less uncomfortable than anything in the apartment.
Also - the markets are in free fall. Thanks a f***ing lot, you fata.ss orangutan.
...Your tariff mania kicked off the trade wars again. Now every investor is paying the price for your idiocy.
Not sure when I'll get here next time, so...be as well as you can, everyone.
P.S. Never thought I'd say this but...I miss President Bush.
@slowdecline48 Take good care of yourself Slow. Hope you get some well deserved rest soon. sending good vibes
I 'preciate the thoughts, Twistmeister. Yeah...I rest when I need to. Have discovered I can work for longer than normal (normal for me) if I eat something every two to three hours. The old gym rat trick.
@slowdecline48 Hey, don't hate on Trump, He's doing his best..ok?... he's fostering friendship between China, Japan and South Korea #GivehimtheNobelforPeace
