my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times
The title explains itself.
If you're interested in the ramblings of a middle-aged man with chronic conditions who, at times, sees things a little too clearly for his own good, then read on.
Sometimes I get political, but it won't be all the time.
I don't mind comments in general but if you're going to differ with what I write, that's fine--as long as you can explain your position clearly & reasonably. Rants, shouting & general incoherence will be ignored or flagged, depending on the situation. Try to remember that not everyone else in this world holds your beliefs.
Every so often I may post art or snapshots of projects I'm working on.
If you're still interested after reading all the above, great. (I do wonder at how much time you have on your hands, though)
How can dreams be so surreal, & seemingly without purpose?...
@slowdecline48 That is a very beautiful question. In physics, time exists as a dimension — part of the fabric of spacetime. But it’s relative - it bends, stretches and slows depending on speed and gravity. So yes, time exists--- but not in the rigid, ticking clock way we usually imagine. Philosophically time is not a “thing” out there — it’s a phenomenon of perception. It arises within awareness (within our conscious mind shaped by memory, emotions and attention) nd not outside of it. Spiritually and metaphysically, time is the veil through which the timeless Self expresses itself. So time both happens and exists. It is both a dimension and a perception. So the consequence of my idea (time exists and time happens) is that it gives us agency but with constraints. If time is partially perception, then your relationship to time is not passive. You participate in shaping your reality by how you direct attention, cultivate awareness and design experience. And in doing so.... we are not just managing minutes — we are shaping the very texture of our lives. To live well is to master the art of experiencing time wisely — not just measuring it.
@azurePond A most comprehensive answer, O oracle...but not so mysterious. 😉
Admittedly it's a lot better than the blather Nostradamus wrote when he was alive.
@slowdecline48 Thank you! I’ll try my hand at more predictions next. One has already come true—Tottenham finally won a trophy! So here’s to the next one: I’ll pass all my upcoming exams and I will move to... Italy (coz y not!) (Call me Notrestagnus)
@slowdecline48 The keyword is “seemingly.” They seem without purpose — but even the bizarre dreams carry meaning. That said, you don’t need to force an interpretation. If a dream really wants to warn you or reveal some hidden treasure... it will return.
And next time, it’ll speak in symbols you’ll actually understand.
* puts on my best mysterious oracle smile *
* lights fade dramatically into the mist of oblivion *
A while ago I saw people online talking about an alternative to X/Twatter...someone in the other online community I'm in recommended it for exposure for my artwork. It's structured like Twatter but without the algorithm...users have more control over their accounts & content feeds. So I opened an account on that "alternative" platform.
🤷🏼♂️
Sure, I'll use it for its intended purpose. My work can always use more attention. But I've been on the platform for almost a month now & already I'm tired of it. All the strident leftists who used to agitate & stir up mobs on Twatter migrated there after the big muskrat took over Twatter. 😒
"Today’s Europe is not ready to defend itself—neither institutionally nor morally.
And even if new Churchills and de Gaulles were to appear tomorrow, they would likely be powerless to change anything. Because there would simply be no one left to stand behind them."
- Adam Gazdiev
every health authority: It is important to get eight hours sleep per night.
my body & situation:
As much as I'd like to do it, there ain't no Shabbos when your situation is like mine.
It's "oh crap" today.
Was going through old Simpsons on YT when NBC's report on the Preakness horse race came up...I have a question:
What kind of character with damaged frontal lobes names a horse "Journalism"?
[cw: insensitive opinionating]
.....
Dear Homeless of America,
Just because I gave you money once does not mean I will do it again. That's the first thing you must comprehend.
Most of the time, I won't give you any at all because I know that, most likely, it won't change anything for the better. I will not pay for your next fix/hit/whatever. If that means you start having withdrawals & get dopesick, tough s**t.
Lest you think I don't know how it is out there: wrong--I do. Not only have I had a few short stints of homelessness in the past, but I am technically so now even though I have land. It is raw land; there is no built structure on it. Right now the only place I have to sleep is my truck. While it doesn't have the poverty of "regular" homelessness it is difficult enough at times, rest assured. (Did you know it's harder to keep a vehicle clean than a house?) The point is, I do know what it's like. The difference is I don't use & never have used hardship as an excuse to mooch off whoever pulls into a parking lot, or to live as if society has no laws. I have chronic depression to boot. Again...it's a condition, not an excuse.
There are entirely too many of you, especially in California & in states closer to the equator where there's no real winter season.
....yes, I know that some of you wound up on the streets purely by misfortune. But those victims are a minority...most of you decided to be where you are, in one way or another. If you can opt for the street life then you can choose to find work & eventually qualify for tenancy or a home loan. It ain't easy, of course, but nothing worth having in this life is easy to get. I can attest to that.
In conclusion: leave me alone & clean up your f***ing act. If you can't do that for whatever reason...you should be dropped in the ocean. The fish would get a meal & your bones could contribute to rebuilding our coral reefs.
....
Sincerely,
"Permanently Fed Up"
😵💫🫨 gghherrrrrrrgggghh....
Not enough sleep last night. Having a flareup now. Wouldnt've been too cheery even without this s***.
I'll need real shelter tonight...to rest, if nothing else...
Sometimes when you're on the road, & sleep-deprived & having a flare...you have to find a shady place to park, roll down the windows, swivel the driver's seat back & wait for it to pass.
You may not have too many other options.
Lately, my dreams are featuring music in their last few minutes...like a backing track. This has happened before. Whether or not it's good news, I don't know.
@slowdecline48 Well… if the music in your dream felt joyful or uplifting it might suggest that you're in alignment with something—like your goals, purpose or emotional truth. But if the music felt unsettling or dissonant... it could reflect a sense of disconnection or some unresolved inner tension.
I dont think it’s as simple as “good news” or “bad news”. Carl Jung might say, it’s your psyche expressing something it wants you to notice or address. Freud, of course, might say it’s connected to your parents or even a past lover or that you want to serve in a military (idk) That said, it could also be more literal. Maybe you were surrounded by music during your waking hours or it was playing in the background without you fully noticing. Sometimes... the mind just absorbs these sounds and replays them in dreams, offering a calmer space to experience them - who knows?
@azurePond ...or it could be the psychological equivalent of going to the bathroom & doing #2. (That's what I consider dreams in general to be)
@slowdecline48 haha🤣🤣 well... in a way... dreams are the number 2 of the unconscious.
I wrote another haiku...not an imaginative one, but I did it. You can read it here, at the bottom of the page.