Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
*absolutely ignores the time*
damn did you really have to?
just another proof that maybe, heart should listen to brain this one time. it’s not gonna be quick or easy tho, not at all.
*** it feels personal.
the urge to just directly ask “what did i do wrong?” but also.. eehhh…
for once, it feels like my overthinking might be just… thinking.
i just figured, maybe it’s not just night when i’m the most productive (or at least more motivated to do something?), maybe it’s just *darkness*. i’m sitting here on my bed, been doing that for at least a few hours now, haven’t even got myself to start with the way overdue homework. it’s so bright and warm and somehow uncomfortable- but thinking about the night when it’s cold but not too cold because i’m under my blanket, the room’s dark and everything’s quiet, no interacting with anyone… it seems to suit me better. which is kind of unfortunate because… sleep. and the amount dark time is decreasing since winter’s soon to end- *panic*
@justmeeva cn u not find a way to make it dark nd comfy in ur room? Like thicker curtains? *hugs if oki*
@unassumingEyes
my mom already says i’m living like a ~caveman~ since i have those *unthick* curtains rolled down most of the time so i doubt she’d let me do anything to block the sun even more :’) oh well. *hugs eyes buddy* <3
…
@justmeeva
what’s wrong, eva? 🥺💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
nothing everything’s fine
@justmeeva
mmm… not vv convincing friend but okay… :') no pressure to say anything friend. 💜 but me a just a tag away if you need me. :')
@LoveMyMoonflowers
i’m sorry i don’t wanna sound rude, i’ll probably get off cups for a little time rn but i think i’ll come back sometime
thank you <3
@justmeeva
okay buddy. 💜 and it’s ok i don’t think you sound rude at all friend. i hope you’ll be safe and try to be gentle with you… :') love you friend 💜
thank you for being you eva. 💜
there were beautiful bright northern lights above my country, above my house, and i managed to miss them.
another really, really realistic dream. i’m honestly not sure whether to call it a dream or a nightmare. but i didn’t want to wake up yet…
