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Eva’s Crazy Mind

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva January 21st, 2024

i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows. 

i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.

best wishes to you. ❤️

3589
User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 14th, 2024

kind of hoping that sleep will take me away before i manage to do something stupid

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 14th, 2024

can’t wait for the day i-

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 14th, 2024

i’ll shut up now. 

3 replies
User Profile: mytwistedsoul
mytwistedsoul March 14th, 2024

@justmeeva *sits quietly* you're having a rough night 😞  do you have distractions? 

2 replies
User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 15th, 2024

@mytwistedsoul 

i didn’t really, it was just me and my brain, but luckily sleep did take me away before anything happened so it’s fine. thank you for caring though ❤️

1 reply
User Profile: mytwistedsoul
mytwistedsoul March 15th, 2024

@justmeeva ok 🙂 I'm glad you were able to get to sleep before anything happened 💙

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User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 15th, 2024

my life: that was cool - never again. 

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 15th, 2024

i’m absolutely exhausted, both mentally and physically, and i have at least a couple of hours of work ahead of me. it’s past 10pm. but what needs to be done, needs to be done. 

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 15th, 2024

no motivation whatsoever. 

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 15th, 2024

really close to just giving up and going to sleep, but it’s not an option. not today. 

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 15th, 2024

but it’s too late to back out now. oh well. 

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 15th, 2024

every minute feels like an hour. 

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 15th, 2024

it’s scenarios timee

7 replies
User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 15th, 2024

“you’re making it look so easy”

”what?”

”leaving me.”

6 replies
User Profile: unassumingEyes
unassumingEyes March 16th, 2024

@justmeeva it’s really, really, not easy. 


Every time i try to make a plan to leave, i find you more important than my reason to leave. Every time, I’m not surprised.
5 replies
User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 16th, 2024

@unassumingEyes 

you’re one of the only ones then. but i thank you for that. 🩷 though.. is it even a good thing..? i mean obviously i don’t want you to leave, but am i keeping you from taking a break too..? is it really a good thing?

4 replies
User Profile: unassumingEyes
unassumingEyes March 16th, 2024

@justmeeva

see my post in the corner

a break is the worst thing for present me rn. 

If i take a break, it wont really be for me will it? Itll be so mom doesnt get mad, mad, mad. 

(Either way it hurts, so id rather hurt with you then without)

(I won’t say you could never hurt me, because you can, and i can hurt you. We all have that potential to hurt, either on purpose or by accident. 

But I can say I trust you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose. And isnt that more than we can say for so many others?)

3 replies
User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 16th, 2024

@unassumingEyes 

okay.. it is important that you make those decisions for you, and you only. not for anyone irl, not for anyone on cups. for you. you’re always, always welcome here, i really believe that struggles are more bearable when you have someone by you. 

i would never ever in my life hurt anyone on purpose. let alone such a good friend. why would i? what would it get me? there’s enough hurt in the world, adding more of it is just.. stupid. 

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 16th, 2024

@unassumingEyes 

i’ll be waiting ❤️

User Profile: justmeeva
justmeeva OP March 16th, 2024

@unassumingEyes

ok cups is really glitching i sent it to your corner why’d it teleport here. 

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