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Gimme bucket list ideas pls cuz my life is empty

User Profile: Malecfan
Malecfan March 4th

I’m supposed to be trying more this year.

I’ve done pretty much nothing for freaking years. I’m depressed, it’s pretty normal. I’m demotivated. Nothing brings me joy.

Even when I do things that usually bring me joy, I just don’t feel it. I do it anyways, to be productive, to stop myself from spiralling. Very healthy of me if I do say so.

But anyways, I drifted through high school. I’ve always been decently smart, quick to pick things up so it wasn’t an issue. I had friends but we didn’t really hang out. I did prom, after prom and yet I can’t even remember the details.

George has always been a good friend, but a trauma bonding friend. He doesn’t make me happy just makes me feel less crazy. He’s like a little brother, despite the fact that he’s older than me.

I tried college, twice and both times I left. Great grades, poor attendance and even worse mental health. I tried, for the first few months and slowly got worse till I left.

I’ve just been existing since, going through the motions. I’m the perfect example of a collage drop out. Minimum wage job, no friends, barely leaves the house. I don’t game though so small wins I suppose?

My point is, my life has been functioning. Get up, do what I’m supposed to, sleep. I thrive on routine because it means I don’t have to think about it. I still have to drag myself out of bed for work, I still spend too much time in bed.

I’m trying though. I’m doing this thing where I give something up every month. Now, did that stem from my entire family calling me fat and me wanting to loose weight. Yes. Am I actually fat, no. But my brain doesn’t get that.

So January was Vegetarian, I aced that btw. February was no junk (sweets, chocolate, ice cream, crisps etc). This month is no bread things (no yeast). It’s helping me broaden my pallet a little tbf.

I went to a pub quiz once in January but idk? No one there was my age and the quiz was kinda not interesting so eh. It got me out of the house for like 6 hours though so win i guess?

But what does a person even do when they have no friends?? I’m not in school so it’s not easy to make friends. Everyone at work is old (30+) and all the customers are old toooo.

There’s this one girl who i’ve spoken to but she’s so confusing???? She just ghosts me randomly for months and idk what to do with that. I could ask her what her deal is but that seems rude even to me.

So yeah. I suck basically. I’m so insanely bored of my life and yet nothing I do cures it. I feel like I’m constantly buzzing with energy, the need to do something but when I try I feel tired. Or I just feel nothing and it sucks.

Any ideas?? I need like a bucket list to go through yk??? Something to give me something to strive for, goals? Maybe. Anyways, any outdoor ideas or hobbies pls lemme know.

Oh also, I’m still not over my ex (we broke up over a year ago help). That was a fun realisation to have!

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Help a dear friend, please? <3

Ok, I got one <3

Go to every park within a specific mile radius, and do something there. Up to you what you do: Read, exercise, play on the swings, leave painted rocks there, whatever. Whatever activity is something you would do. Something low pressure. Just do that thing at every park in your area.

Super easy and lowkey, and makes you feel like you accomplished something <3

Another thing along the same lines: Try geocaching or letterboxing. Also try going to every Little Free Library in your area. :)

Thoughts?? <3

2 replies
User Profile: Malecfan
Malecfan OP March 4th

This sounds good,

Thank you :)

1 reply

@Malecfan

Let us know how it goes! <3

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User Profile: GreenLime3141
GreenLime3141 March 4th

Alrighty!

  1. Buy one coloring book and one pack of coloring supplies and see how much of the coloring book you can get done.

  2. Buy a very simple musical instrument, like claves or a woodblock or a single handheld drum or a guiro and play along with your favorite tunes!

  3. Buy one journal or even just a regular notebook and see if you can fill the whole thing. Extra credit: only write positive things, even if they’re not “true”. Write things that you wish were true, but don’t say, “I wish…”. Just say them like they are true. So for me I might say, “I have fulfilling friendships. I love my job” etc.

  4. Window shop and don’t buy a single thing. Extra credit: go to a really big store for this.

  5. Think about ways you could be more generous with anything and everything you have, like money, time, possessions, wisdom, etc. if you have anything, then you can be generous.

Let me know how all of this goes! I care about you!

Today I learned what claves and a guiro are <3

1 reply
User Profile: GreenLime3141
GreenLime3141 March 4th

LOL.

You’re welcome?

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User Profile: RunningMachine
RunningMachine March 4th
@Malecfan
@jesusredeemedme2425

Hey,I've dragged myself out of bed earlier than i normally would to boot up my laptop to respond to your post as i wouldn't do your post justice on my phone. I'm pleased you've reached out an hope you might find inspiration from the responses

'But what does a person even do when they have no friends?? I’m not in school so it’s not easy to make friends. Everyone at work is old (30+) and all the customers are old toooo.'

Seriously, this made me smile but at the same time feel like an antique.

I feel a very similar way to you, a combination of loneliness and limiting health issues means I feel I'm living life in a thick fog.

I've reached out by sharing through Cups and it has lightened the feeling a little beginning to make a difference. I'm at the opposite end of the age spectrum and feel like my life has lost it's purpose so in a sense I'm searching for a new one.

The connections I've made through Cups, being on jesusredeemedme (thank you) taglist for example, has helped but I'm also still looking for that spark but at least simply from valueing day to day connections, in the gym and regular shops in particular some of them connections that were no more than nods of welcome have become conversations, occasional over coffee after the gym. It cost me a fortune last night booking tickets for 3 separate music gigs yesterday afternoon that I'm not going to alone.

Reading your post I was looking for something to focus on, other than feeling like an antique, just a hint of whether you are artistic, enjoy music, enjoy sports etc, it might be worth adding a little more info to help people respond.

With regards to age, when I was in my teens I loved cycling and it wasn't popular at the time with very few riders my age. Most of my social time wa therefore with people as old as 40-50, i learnt a lot about the sport and life in general with them. Now I'm an antique, turned 59 in January, I'm finding I'm learning as much from people of all ages, even people under 30, age makes absoulutely no difference at all, for me at least it's the connection itself that matters.

I've not added to your bucket list but maybe by encouraging you to not  be so dismissive of age it might at least help a little. I've no doubt that the awesome Cups community won't be short on suggestions.

I'm going to go back too bed now 😄
1 reply
User Profile: Malecfan
Malecfan OP March 5th

I feel old? Is that offensive, I’m sorry if it is.

Like I’ve never been to a party or concert, or gotten drunk with my friends. I have a fair few health issues but I’m ignoring them because the doctors couldn’t figure it out.

I’m fully functional, I work, spend time with my family but it just feels pointless if I can’t feel it yk?

Talking here helps, a lot. I ramble and I obsess over things and talking it/writing it out helps.

I don’t think I ever have had a purpose which is kinda scary? I have temporary ones, usually when someone needs something but other than that I’m kinda just here.

I have really bad social anxiety when I’m out and about alone, being with other people helps but I don’t have anyone. I see the value in things, like walking, music but I just don’t feel settled? I don’t feel happy.

I feel like whatever im doing isn’t enough.

I don’t think age really matters, the person themself does.

You’ve helped a lot, thank you for your response :)

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 March 4th

@Malecfan

Getting out and doing things does not need a list but the will to do it.  I get that feeling of bored or restless but when telling myself I could go do x, Y or z. I think ........I feel tired and say maybe next time.  I have trained myself to know that tired give up feeling is my subconscious wanting me to stay depressed and lazy and not willing to do things.   

older people or younger people can be good friends actually we get a glimpse in many things they have done in life if older and can help younger see possibilities they missed.  not hard to connect with any type of co-worker in my experience. 

 You never know when a connection could happen........ I married the childhood friend of one of the managers from My first job. (decades ago, so it worked out)   The job was actually offered to my sister, but she has never been willing to work her whole life lol so they offered to me instead.  Fate? or just in the right place at a moment? 

Take the road less traveled / do anything different / quit worrying about when or how and let life surprise you.  I am a strong believer this does not happen at home or hiding behind a screen or phone.    

User Profile: reservedOwl321
reservedOwl321 March 4th

What about the library. They tend to have a lot of activities depending on where you live, especially if you are us-based. Do you have any nearby museums or national parks? I read an article the other day about how third spaces are disappearing. Maybe this friend who is ghosting you would like to schedule a coffee date with you. I know I'm not the best at keeping in touch on a regular basis, but I love getting together occasionally when I have extra time. Finding your people takes a lot of time, especially these days. Good luck to you!

User Profile: sadcat13
sadcat13 March 5th

@Malecfan soak your feet a little in some warm water and bath salt/bubbles. Absolute peak chill activity, just make sure you have a towel at hand to dry yourself after

User Profile: J0Nsnow
J0Nsnow March 5th

@Malecfan attend a fest something like tomorrowland