Pain ig?
I never make promises, and when I do I keep them. In my mind, i'm bound to whomever to keep that promise.
That's why I never promised that I would try. Never promised not to harm myself.
Sometimes I wish that I did. I seek comfort, seek the idea that someone cares when I know no-one does.
Yet i'm glad I never did as I know that it's a promise I'd never manage to keep. A sad reality and yet it's mine.
I don't self harm anymore, not in a noticeable way. I still struggle with an ed, still punch walls just to feel something, dismiss injuries just so i can bathe in a familiar comfort. Pain.
It's a strange thing, one that can be self inflicted far to easily. I don't know why I'm drawn to it. That's a lie, but if i went on to explain, this would be far longer than I intended it to be.
I never promised. I revel in that knowledge yet the guilt still grows. Will it ever not?
@Malecfan
I felt this same way for what seemed like a really long time. it's terrible to feel like were struggling in silence. I never made that promise and I felt guilty as well, so please know you are not alone, and you are not here as a burden. you are here because you were strong enough to stay and because you will find a time and a community where you can feel safe to make that promise. asking for help doesn't make you weak, it makes you courageous, so when, not if, when you feel ready please be courageous. the process to feeling better is long and honestly sometimes really difficult, but it's never impossible. I'm sending good thoughts to you <3 stay courageous
