Take the hit

I will wait here as my soul rots because I am nothing if not loyal.

I’m impatient which is a funny thing. I won’t wait in lines, I’d rather just leave it alone.

I don’t have patience for most people honestly.

Yet if you mean something, if you matter to me. I’m endlessly patient.

I allow the comments. Passive yet hurtful because I hope that you’ll pick up on it. Hope that you’ll notice the hurt.

I allow the ghosting. A week, a month, more. I’ll wait for a text or a reply because you matter. I won’t mention it, I won’t make you feel bad because that’s not the type of person I am.

I’ve been used in many different ways by many different people. It doesn’t stop me.

I’m still loyal to a fault. Still shoulder more than I’m able.

I‘ve seen the destruction other people can cause. I’ve been hurt by other people. I know the pain.

I don’t want to inflict that. So if I have to keep taking the hits, keep taking the unbearable loneliness that accompanies it I will.