got in a fist fight with my younger brother
hey y'all...
This happened about 10 minutes ago, and I really didn't have anyone else to talk to about it, so I've come on here to talk about it lol
I was watching the new season of Ginny and Georgia(great show... like would strongly recommend) when my brother(11 years old) barged in and told me my sister(9 years old) needed to go to bed, I gave him reasons why she didn't and he started to argue with me... I told him that I'd tell her to go to bed and that he needed to go to bed as well. He then started to yell at me and refused to even listen to me speak.... I got up out of bed to talk to him and he ended up punching me and we got into a like fist fight =/ I'm gonna have a bruise across my chest because of it....
Well, I was just getting on here to get y'all's advice. Should I go to my mom about it, or just deal with it myself? And if I do, how do I stop it from happening in the future??? like AITA?(sounds like a reddit story ong....)
Please, if ya want to, I'd appreciate some advice lol thanks for you're time and have a great night!!
Hi, the fault in our Stars 20,
It does sound like Reddit lol, the AITA part at least. I grew up with brothers, which doesn’t make me any kind of expert, but here goes.
It’s been more than 12 hours since you posted, so I would guess that some cooling off has occurred. Also, I hope you were able to ice pack your chest and maybe offer some first aid to your younger brother.
I have no idea of your age, but as the Elder, I “get” that in the hierarchy of the family, you call most of the shots with your younger sister. After all, you did try to reason with your younger brother. And he did “start” the physical altercation by starting to yell, refusing to listen, and throwing the first punch.
I can’t give you advice because I don’t know enough about you, your hopes and dreams, family dynamics, and expectations within your family about communication and reconciliation.
However, I will say that at some point, I do hope you and your brother can talk without either of you flaring into anger (words or fists). How? You mentioned your mom. I wonder how she would feel about mediating a discussion between you and your brother. After all, isn’t it she, or another parent figure, the person who “sets” the bedtime for your 9-year-old sister?
The fact that you are reflecting on this, and asking for advice, reveals to me a level of maturity and care about your and your brother’s relationship. I wish my brother had been like that, but no, in those days, internalizing all the distress, and eventually escaping it, were the methods of choice. Heaven knows, the boys would not be caught dead discussing “feelings” (those slippery unreliable things), when other methods would have to do.
But feelings—the messy ones about who’s in charge --the logical ones of how did your sister sleep knowing a fist fight between her (presumably) beloved brothers arose over her schedule – the puzzling ones of who am I to fight my younger brother and wasn’t there another way to resolve this—are indeed a driver of aggressive behaviors and responses. After all, we all strive for self-control, and you surely think of yourself as a person with more resources than your younger brother, with a better toolkit of strategies to disrupt, distract, and draw attention to negotiation and resolution instead of conflict and battle.
Listen to me preaching on here like I have any right to lecture, or a diplomat for international relations. (Scoffs, laughs at self.)
I wonder what your own thoughts are now that the fire is no longer blazing, even if it may still be simmering.
I wonder how you, and your brother and sister, are doing now.
Kindly,
Calm Rosebud
@CalmRosebud
hey, thanks lol I was able to rest up and stuff and it's still kinda sore but it's not severely bruising. and my brother wasn't hurt at all so he's ok.
I'm in my late teens so as I'm coming out of my "rude" phase of puberty, my brothers just starting his. so I guess it's just hard for us all to adjust while trying not to hurt him anymore lol
while I didn't necessarily bring it up to my mom, I brought up other situations that were similar and she talked to him about it.
your advice really helps lol
thanks, and have a good day!!
@theFaultInOurStars20
You are so welcome and I’m so glad it’s starting to work out. You availed yourself of the resources of your community of your family, and gradually, it seems like you’ll have some sort of better communication and understanding. Please take good care and update us here anytime. Best wishes.