i was working on writing what happened to me and its turning into an autobiography and i would like some feed back for how its going so far.

The rumors started in 6th grade. People began saying I identified as male and that I looked at people in the bathrooms. They also said I touched people while playing duck duck goose. None of this was true.

At first, I didn’t even know the rumors were happening. I just noticed people growing distant from me. They were dry with me, acting different, and I didn’t understand why. I think that’s where my trust issues started.

Everything after that was a blur and moved really fast.

I was friends with a girl named Ada. She was connected to the friend group where all of this was happening. I remember asking Ada about it in the bathroom of a McDonald’s. Ada told me that everyone hated me and that rumors had been going around for months.  That’s when she told me who was motivating people to do all of this. Her name was Haley, but she identified as nonbinary and went by X. That was the first time I remember masking my emotions for real. Walking out of the bathroom and seeing Ada’s mom was hard because I had to act okay.

I had messages from X on my phone, and when I confronted her, she sent threats toward me and my family. I didn’t tell my parents because I wasn’t supposed to be messaging people. This happened while I was in the guest bedroom at my grandparents’ house.

When we got back to school, I talked to the counselor. At that point, I didn’t have a good therapist. The counselor brought in X, and X told a story about how her sister and her sister’s friends stole her phone. But during that same conversation, her story kept changing. At first it was hard for people to believe me because I only had screenshots. I remember kind of resolving the issue. I asked the counselor not to say anything because I thought the issue was resolved.

At some point my parents found out, but I don’t remember how. I told them I was handling it, and they believed me. I was young back then, so I tried to make peace with X, but she kept getting more and more information about me to use later pretending we were cool.

The actual reports didn’t start until 7th grade.

In 7th grade, the reports on “See Something Say Something” started. That’s also when I started smoking. I started smoking on a cruise while hanging out with people. I found a guy at school to get me nicotine and weed, but it only ended up embarrassing me later in the year when everything unfolded.

When I thought the rumors had stopped, they started again. This time it lasted until the middle of 7th grade. These rumors were only in the friend group, and they kept reporting me online. That’s when the office started calling me in again. I asked them not to say anything to my parents because I said I was working on solving the issue.( which I was and had a general idea  because of what happened in the past,but there was nothing I could really do looking back on it )They agreed and said they would have to contact me every time there was a report.

They reported me for using drugs, for hurting myself, and for supporting Hitler. (There was a kid in my religious school who said things like that, and I’m Jewish.)

One day, five minutes before the bell for break, they got a report. They said it was too late to bring me in, and because it involved self‑harm, they had to send the police to my house. My mom, dad, and I were heading to Barnes & Noble when we saw two police cars outside our house. As we were walking out, one of the officers turned on the sirens and walked toward us. They asked if I was Ace. Then they said we needed to go inside. They read the report to my parents, and we all knew it wasn’t true, I explained my side of the story in tears. That’s when my parents found out for the second time. I said I was handling it, but they didn’t believe me because clearly I hadn’t handled it the first time.

During this time, my parents made forms so that if any of the students involved talked about me, talked to me, or came near me, they would be sent to secondary school. All of their parents had to sign a form saying they knew what was going on. Before that, kids got called in to try to get the story straight, but we never could. I could never figure out who was part of this besides X.

I started smoking in 7th grade. It first happened while I was on a cruise, and the stuff I had came from a kid at school. I had a school computer at the time, and I found a firewall hole that let me get on ***. That’s where I talked to the kid about what I was going to get, since I couldn’t get anything on my phone. Before I met him, I had asked around a lot and got fooled into thinking I was actually getting something.

Ada ended up snitching on me. My parents confronted me and bluffed that they already knew I was smoking and knew exactly where I was keeping everything. They said I’d get in less trouble if I was honest and showed them where it was. They couldn’t find it on their own, so I freaked out and showed them. Stupid me, lol.

They brought it up to the office, but I didn’t snitch on the kid who got it for me. He told people I did anyway. Somehow, in another meeting about my punishment, I ended up snitching for real. After that, he and I said we were going to “fade,” even though I didn’t really know how to fight or what I was getting myself into.

Around this time, my parents found out I was online for the first time. I got in a lot of trouble and lost my phone. I still don’t have it because of other stuff I did later. During all of this, I was dating a girl named Janet.

 more to come