Bee's One Line A Day Thread
Heya! I'm Bee and this is my millionth attempt at journaling, this time people can read it I guess? (Who knew, maybe this time it'll work *** that way haha) Millionth attempt may or may not be an exaggeration, but I did try many times to journal my throughout my years of living but it never really works out for some reason.
I don't know why but my brain always refuse to write something. Whenever I try to journal, I always end up thinking too much about what to write that I ended up writing blabs or most of the time not writing at all.
But not anymore (or at least I hope so haha)
So here's my plan this time. A great person I met has suggested me to use a template, that way I'll know what to write and I wouldn't take too much time on thinking. So whenever I feel like I'm having a hard time writing, I'm going to use this template. Feel free to use it too.
- I am grateful for…
- What would make today great?
- Daily affirmation. I am…
- 3 Amazing things that happened today…
- How could I have made today even better?
You wonderful human reading this, feel free to interact in this thread, share your thoughts and insights or just say hey. I found that I love talking to people, which is weird because I'm an extreme introvert and public speaking melts me in to a single atom haha
If you decided to read through this journal thread, whirlwind of a mess that is my brain, thank you. I'm not the easiest person to understand (I can barely understand myself haha) so I appreciate you taking your time reading through this. May great things come your way ✨
Okay so I'm rereading this, I would correct the censored word but I have no idea what that word is. Sorry. xD
Soo just know, it's not my intention to curse xD
@BeeLive nice to meet you! I've always "struggled"/accepted that I'm a long-form writer (in school people had the opposite problem) but I now do poetry more often which varies. The point being, whatever helps you express is good enough!
So I know I've already made my entry for today but uh... This is an extension? So I'm making this entry longer than it already is xD
Anyway umm yeah, I have zero respect or care for cheating *** of a dad, that's not going to change any time soon or ever, sooo when mom asked me to cook for him and serve him his meal before he goes to work... I went straight to bed and finished the YouTube video I'm watching. It was a great video, totally enjoyed myself.
And dad went to work with an empty stomach. Do I care? No.
Was it petty? Yeah, 'cause I'm unapologetically petty when it comes to dad. But do I care? No here too.
Mom got mad of course because I didn't comply on what she asked, but I'm used to her shouting at my face.
Mom calmed down eventually so things are good now that dad's at work and not in the house. Mom and I talk and joke around, a good way to end the day.
Okay this time the curse word is intentional xD
@BeeLive
Maybe you can try to not filter when you journal (except here, we got to filter).
Journaling will help us to think through things, so it's good that you write here.
@BeeLive
Hi Bee nice to meet you too! 😊
Filtering means you try to think through the words, then you think whether or not you should write them down. So, writing a journal for yourself does not need to be filtered, let your mind be free. Just write whatever that comes into your mind at the time, because there is no right or wrong.
Someone said, our mind is not a notepad, we should not keep everything on it. Write them down.
@VictoriaLove7
Oh! I think I get it.
Now that you mention it, I guess writing in English is my way of filtering since I find it more flowy to write. I always think hard about it because I'm conscious about grammar and stuff, even if I'm writing in private I write it in English (then I tend to read back and edit my own works, so I spot mistakes easily and criticize myself xD)
I just had a realization that in all of my million attempts in journaling, I've never actually write one in my native language xD
Hmm maybe I'll try to write a private journal in my native language to see it makes a difference.
Thanks you for explaining, Victoria. I appreciate it! 💛
Entry number dos! (April 24, 2023)
2nd day of journaling, still going strong ✊
Today went well enough. Dad was at work the whole day, so I feel lighter working at home. I was able to cook breakfast for myself before going to uni and uni is just actually really nice when I have breakfast, despite the lack of decent amount of sleep.
Gah! Can't believe we're learning 'bout sentence structures. Sigh. It's sooo boring. Couldn't they have got a better and new topic to talk about.
I'd say it's a pretty normal day, but I'm feeling kinda sad.
With nothing exciting happening, there's more time for overthink everything. I used to talk to myself at days like this but.mm
My friends... I always excuse not having no time to talk to them but I miss them. In a quiet day like this, I should talking to them, joking around and stuff. But I'm not, because I'm not in a good state to have fun.
Not when home's been a wreck; so I haven't been reading our group chat, I haven't been answering group calls, basically I've been ghosting them for months now since the trouble at home started.
And I can feel it, they're pulling away. They're keeping in arm's length, they don't talk to me like they used to.
There's a rare time where I met one of my friend in uni last week (we all have different schedules, I'm in morning session while my friend's in afternoon), and while I was so excited to finally see her again in person, she's... not as excited as I am. It was like I'm just another classmate she haven't seen in a long time and just say hey.
That memory hurt. I know it's my fault because I haven't been making an effort to talk to them and keep our friendships going, but it still hurts. Now I can only read in our group chat, not knowing how to start a conversation.
It used to be so easy. I can say as simple as a random topic and we'll blow an hour long conversation about it.
I miss my friends.
Overall, today is just another day. Loneliness is a bit harder to handle but I'll be going to sleep soon hopefully tomorrow is a better day.
Hope y'all have a great day 💛
Entry tres that should be the fifth
Uh yeah, probably why I always fail journaling, 'cause I'm can't commit to do it everyday.
A lot happened yesterday, too emotionally to taxing to write down any of it so I spent sleeping it off and be hopeful it gets better.
I did feel a bit better but it didn't really fix the situation, soo I still ended up doing nothing and more exhausted because I woke up to the still situation and blaming myself for not doing anything about it.
Bigger reason, I'm still terrible at sharing at my stuff. I've actually wrote down everything yesterday, but I backed down on posting it. It's too sad to share and I'm just no, I can't post it. I ended up deleting all of it.
I'm just always so sad I can't even talk to people anymore. They're always asking questions and questions that's just too sad for me to answer. Even as simple as "Where are your friends?" makes me wanna cry because I don't know how to answer them.
Do I still have friends? I'm not kicked out of the gc yet but do they still care? Understandable if they don't, I've been ghosting them for months now.
I don't know how to make anything better.
