Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #6) How to Accept Feedback

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received:

How did you react?

I'll reply in the context of negative feedback since I think positive reactions to positive feedback are a given. I take them in stride usually. I accept it and thank them for it, even if sometimes it's obviously an attack at me. I don't want unnecessary and pointless conflict just because someone wanted to take one out on me.

How did you feel?

I don't feel much usually. I don't take feedback to heart before review. People will say what they want and that coexists with my right to ignore them if I so desire. I'll only absorb what I think is beneficial for my growth.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

Because I have a secure sense of self and am capable of thinking through what is and what isn't for me. Oh, and experience with handling feedback. I think at some point you get used to the emotional impact and learn to deal with it well enough that you can actually focus on the utility of the feedback itself.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Not much, tbh. I think my current system is fine, I'm not experiencing any problems with it, and it already incorporates a lot of what was being talked about in the video anyway.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I didn't remain calm and collected, that's for sure.

I felt almost as if my life, and my actions etc aren't good enough for their "Opinion".

Well I don't take feedback very well, but there's also a difference between constructive criticism, and simply being negative.

After watching the video, I will try to focus on their true intentions, as well as see what I've done wrong and try to fix it. Nobody is perfect, and we can all improve. So Coming at it with a positive mindset can help learn instead of negatively pushing it out.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I get a lot of feedback professionally and socially. I think it's because I am always looking to improve but when I do hear that I'm not doing as good a job as I thought I was it does hurt. I don't allow myself to dwell on it though, I usually take responsibility and build an action plan to fix the behavior and improve for myself and those around me. After watching the video I think I'd like to start thanking people for their feedback instead of saying sorry because I think telling someone thank you is far more sincere. I also think that asking for advice on how to do better and following up with the person giving feedback are great ways to ensure that your performance is meeting expectations.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I appreciate feedback - that's how I improve and continue to grow. However, I think I learn more from critical feedback rather than the fluffy "atta girl" stuff. Some people shy away from it, but I don't mind negative remarks. I take them in and learn from them. After watching the video, I wish I had been more diligent about following up after receiving feedback.

@Heather225

I was reasonably happy with most of the feedback that I received. It was good to hear that my work was appreciated and also how it was interpreted by my peers. There was some feedback for improvement of my work and this was a bit hard to accept at first, but I thought I had to open my mind and be willing to accept other opinions that could help me to improve. I agree with the video; we should not take feedback as being a personal attack. It is a great opportunity to improve and it is also a sign that somebody cares. They would not give us feedback at all if they did not care.

@Heather225

Hey Heather, this one was really hard for me, but I will try my best to complete it successfully.

Think about the most recent feedback you received:

So actually, this is the hard part for me. I don't know why that is, but especially on 7Cups I received very little feedback. Or maybe I did, but it was always positive, not often constructive feedback that could help me to improve. But as the video stated, sometimes we have to ask for advice. Maybe I should do that more often.

I do have one example though. On the Care Team all guides were given a refresher training form. I did feel pretty comfortable about it, and still I made two mistakes.

How did you react?

I did not react badly, just a bit confused. I was thinking that maybe I would not be a good fit as Care Team Leader, as this was something that I was discussing with the Ambassador at the time. So I wrote them and joked about if they would really like me as the Care Team lead, when I am obviously not perfect. I think I like to joke when I get criticized, it takes the pressure away.

How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

Confused, mainly. And maybe a bit disappointed in my abilities. I think I felt this way because I have been on Care Team for quite some time and thought I know how to handle requests.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Probably I would still make jokes about it! But I would try to take it less personally, everyone makes mistakes and that is okay. That was the whole purpose of the refresher training. To see the mistakes, and improve there. After all, that is what I always want. To improve.

So thank you Heather for this wonderful post, and thank you, whoever is reading this, for giving me your precious time for a moment. You are awesome! 💜

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel?

Not the most recent, but throughout my journey as a listener on 7cups, I have received coaching emails as a feedback for my interaction with members. And in those emails it mentioned that I should improve my response time, empathy and professionalism.

Well, when I received it for the first few times, I did not react positively. Initially I was shocked and then I felt disappointed, sad and angry for being criticised on my listening skills.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I think i reacted and felt that way to protect myself and defend my shortcomings. Also my ego was reacting to it instead of my rational mind.
If I would have come across this video at that time, I would have step back and listened to the feedback, recognize the flaws/ mistakes I have made. Understand that its normal to make mistakes as we aren't perfect. Lastly i would have taken it has an opportunity to learn and improve.

1 The good feed back I handle it well and I felt good about it. I would not change any thing about it.

2 with feed about I can get better I handle it not as well as I would like. I felt like I was in trouble.

1 step back while I. Let the. News setting in.

2 think about what I say a head of time.

3 remind my self I am not in trouble

4 ask how I can get better,

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The most recent feedback I recieved was positive - which is lovely to hear! When I did get more constructive feedback my knee jerk reaction is embaressment at being found 'lacking' in some way. Luckily that feeling doesn't last long and I can see that this person is actually investing in me by giving me feedback and then I can re-read the feedback and really take it in.

I react in this way mainly because I have some past social anxiety issues lingering!

I really liked the point about having a follow up after the feedback, although it might be scary to initiate another conversation on your performance it allows you to see your growth :)

Question: Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Answer: My literature teacher commented that my analysis for A&P, a short story was superficial. To be honest, I’ve never heard anyone said that my work was “superficial”. My first reaction in mind was to rebut that I’ve made my argument clearly and listed all the evidence. At that time, I feel like I was not valuable and not respected. However, I managed to calm myself down and ask if there is any improvement I could make. My teacher then explained that the lens I used include more elements than I used in the homework.

I’m pretty glad that I listened to the advice. According to the author name and book page my teacher mentioned, I found a guidebook for literary theories and started to read it last weekend. After watching the video, I feel like I need to know that I am not defined by one single work, nor someone’s comment. I think that I should give my teacher the new version of my analysis and see if I had use the lens properly.