Ace Exclusionism

@LittleSoftHeart

hey there! how' you doing??

yeah, there has been a lot of discussions about this sometimes even turning to arguments in social media!

i, personally think that no matter if we define ace/aro under lgbtq+ or not, all we should care deeply about is to be supportive to all just as we are all simply humans... so this arguments were never my thing i guess...

anyways, if that is how ace/aro folks prefer, i wish someday all lgbtq+ members (if not all people) will act supportive about that instead of creating an enviroment of arguments and making the sence of community and safety go away...

I generally consider ace/aro part of the LGBT. However, I will admit that I wonder if there are straight people who have a healthy sex drive who may wonder if they're ace/aro due to the hypersexualized social climate. Unfortunately, it seems that society is so sexualized that people think a person is the one who's different if they're simply not aroused by every person of the opposite or same sex who walks past in the tp aisle at Walmart. Of course I don't want to say I disbelief any individual who identifies as ace/aro (I even have ace/aro identify), but maybe people who know people like that would have a different perspective about them being LGBT.

@LittleSoftHeart some part of me is sad that this is still a topic going on, it's been happening for years now...it's part of the reason I purposely left tumblr and avoid other lgbt-centric sites due to all this ultimately unimportant gate-keeping. And I'm happy the community on 7cups has remained positive and inclusive and hasn't gotten much into those disagreements that make things a negative space.

My perspective of it is...what actually is the harm in letting aro/ace people be included, "oh no a straight cis person is here"? To me, being lgbt should be about inclusion, taking people as they are, and being open and loving to everyone, and supportive of anyone who feels alienated, discriminated against, or just is having a rough time with their gender/sexual/romantic identity. Yes, someone who is grey-a heterosexual is "sometimes straight", but it's that not sometimes that matters. It's their feelings about it that matter. I don't see any benefit from trying to gate keep and say who is "queer enough" to belong. It honestly doesn't impact me in the slightest if someone aro/ace is included in the community. It doesn't really hurt anyone. But what does hurt is saying "you don't belong here", telling people they're wrong and to go away, trying to set out rules for what counts and doesn't count...that to me is the opposite of what the lgbt community should be about. It's creating a problem and creating negativity that doesn't need to exist.

I don't think being aro/ace is the same as being strictly heterosexual, even if a portion of the person's identity involves heterosexuality. We don't have a problem with straight trans people. We don't have a problem with cis gay people. Why have a problem with identities that are partly both cis and straight, but not wholly? Not to mention some aro/ace identities just don't involve heterosexual attraction at all, are we going to have to give everyone a test to see if they're allowed in based on certain criteria? Just seems silly. Let people exist, let lgbt be about love and support and dismantling stereotypes and normative structures. There's enough hate in the world, I don't think we need to bring it into the community, which already face enough hate as it is outwardly.