How do I ask him to be my qpp?
So basically me and this guy have been back and forth quite a bit lately we're both asexual he's also aromantic and before I've skewed lines or boundaries by asking for a relationship I've never been in a qpp before and it looked like it could be more relavent to us than the alternatives are but then sometimes I'm like do I need the label that much? Because we do things together like cuddle hug hold hands ect things that I would say were more than friends stuff considering our asexuality what I'm asking is is it worth asking to risk him freaking out again and if so how do I ask? Thanks in advance x
I would bring up the idea of a QPR and ask if he's heard of it, ask what he thinks of it, and maybe casually hint, "you know, that's kind of like us." It doesn't have to be a big thing. And if he reacts well, that's good, and if he's more like "nah, not really," then at least you know what sort of relationship he considers you having.
@EmmyTheDragon thanks hun will try that with my learning difficulties things being unclear kind of throw me off a bit and he's really good with me usually but it's the only thing that's confused me about our friendship to me I wouldn't hold someone's hand unless I was with them maybe that's just my silly standards I dunno what normal friendship behavior is x
Maybe you just give different names to same thing. I know it can be kind of confusing, but it doesn't have to be. However you call your relationship, it won't affect it in any way. You're both free to consider your relationship as anything you feel it is, and as long as you're both ok with how things work between you two, that's fine! The only difficulty would be describing your relationship to others, but it's a minor one.
So labeling your relationship isn't necessary, but I get it if you would like to. In this case, you can try to talk about it with your partner and suggest that you think your relationship fits a certain label better. Dialogue sometimes can work wonders and help us confront our limits. But if he's not comfortable with it, that's ok. Ultimately, what truly matters is that both of you are happy with your relationship!
@Aayla thanks yeah sometimes the label doesn't really matter which tbf is most of the time it only really crosses my mind when I want to ask for some affection that may be considered too much to ask of a friend like in the last week I've had some tricky medical tests and in quite a bit of pain so wanted a cuddle but don't necessarily know if I'm being cheeky and pushing my luck by asking which I definitely don't want to do due to our pasts we take consent very seriously we've cuddled before but not as often as other affection if that makes sense the label just would probably include a big chat about boundaries too which scares me I guess? X
@Skylerrosejulie93 boundaries are important, and it would surely make your life easier to know what you can or cannot do in certain situation. I know it's a scary talk to have, but in the long run, it could be beneficial for both of you. Of course there can always be exception and special cases - the medical tests you dealt with might be one them, it's ok to need some more contact after a challenging event. But all of this is something you can discuss together, respecting each other's limits and acknowledging each other's needs.
Should you decide to face the topic, I wish you the best of luck! I'm sure the connection you have is strong enough to support you through this difficult talk and help you make the best out of it.