Questioning, looking for advice

Hi! So, I’m new here and I’ve never done one of these before so I’m just gonna kind of pour everything out.

When I learned what ace meant I took it on pretty quickly as a part of how I identify, and I felt I was sex repulsed. It was only more recently after a few years that I started to actually try and explore that for the first time, since my (online)partner does like sex.

We started kinda slow with like some rp and like easing into it, and I did like it but I don’t think I’ve gotten to actually feeling that attraction towards someone, even him.

I tried to do some one on one things, but I kinda back out when I reach a certain point. I brushed it off that maybe I just wasn’t doing it right. The other day I’d bought a toy, to see if it could maybe help or be better then how I’d been trying, and when I got to that point again it’s like I hit a block and I just got afraid, felt kind of sick, and stopped it.

I don’t know why I was scared, it was just me and I’d really been looking forward to trying it, but it’s like something about it just scared me…

I don’t know if this is a common feeling or necessarily an ace thing, or even if it makes sense, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask at least.