Coping with LGBTQ+ Holiday Stress

While the holiday season can be triggering for many people, LGBTQ+ people are more likely to experience stress, anxiety and depression year round, and it can become particularly exacerbated during this time of year, for example when returning home for the holidays.

Many LGBTQ+ people struggle more with even day to day challenges as the pressure of stigma, rejection, and “otherness” within their families comes into greater focus during the holiday season. Even if an LGBTQ+ person doesn’t return home for the holidays, the societal focus on family and togetherness can be challenging to avoid and triggering.

[Image consists of red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple ornaments.]

So what to do? How to cope? Here are 7 basic tips that may help you survive or even thrive this holiday season.

1. Frame Your Expectations
   If you feel able, take a moment to think about your goals for this holiday season. If you will be visiting family, what do you want to get from that visit? What do you need to do? What do you need to avoid?
   
   

2. Strengthen Your Self-Acceptance
   Generating positive self talk, and affirmations can be an important step. Going home, shouldn’t require returning to the “closeted” version of ourselves. You can create mantras to remind yourself that you have a right to “be who you are, love who/how you love, and be treated with respect.”
   If people are toxic to your wellbeing, even if they are family, you are not required to invite them into your life or share your holiday with them.
   
   

3. Allow Yourself Adequate Breaks
   If a situation becomes overwhelming, too heated, or is upsetting you, it can help to give yourself permission to step away and take a break, even a few minutes can help you calm your emotions and perhaps even give others time to reflect on things they may have said that were unkind.
   Breathing exercises, and meditations can be a part of taking a time out to take care of yourself when things get too much or too heated.
   
   

4. Microaggressions Matter
   Microaggressions can be all around during holiday celebrations, simple questions and comments that intentionally or unintentionally snub or insult, can do a lot of harm.
   Even if they are from your family it is okay to speak up, and ask them to learn and grow. Something as simple as “this is my gay cousin” can hurt, pointing out that someone would react strangely if we introduced another as “this is my straight cousin” can help them see even those seemingly harmless qualifiers reinforce the idea of being other or lesser.
   
   

5. Exercise
   While it can be hard to find the motivation to get up and move even when it’s not the holidays, reality is that exercise can be an excellent way to reduce tensions, boost endorphins, and maintain our mental health!
   
   

6. Be Assertive
   Oftentimes we try to avoid or prevent confrontation by just swallowing the things that bother us, instead being assertive by speaking up and setting clear boundaries may be a more effective way to resolve problems.
   Speaking up doesn’t need to be confrontational, you can be gentle and firm when you express your discomfort, or point out that certain comments are hurtful.
   
   

7. Keep in Touch with Allies
   Allies are part of your support system, you may need them more this time of year, so keeping in touch with them is even more important. Being able to go text an ally when you feel overwhelmed can help you remember you are already loved and accepted.

The holidays can be a wonderful time to spend with family and friends, but they can also be a challenging time where we need self care, boundaries and support even more than usual. Sometimes they will be both.

Hopefully however your holiday unfolds you can take time to make use of some of these tips to make it the best it can be!

[Image consists of red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple ornaments.]

So join in and share your thoughts?!

• Have you ever made use of any of these tips or tricks when interacting with family and friends? How did that work for you?

• Do you have any other tips/tricks you use to cope with the challenges of the holiday season?

Source: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/pop-culture/why-some-lgbtq-people-feel-especially-stressed-holidays-7-things-ncna950461

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