On weird journey
faithfulBunny2191
January 19th
Basically to sum up everything in short terms
i am 31 trans mtf but i never started any procedure because i Planned my life with survival rate of zero because where i live and my very closed minded parents who are good human beings but super closed minded
now i am stuck in my life i am engineer but never did any job earned money with poker but dont want to do that anymore
currently trying to decide if i should become data analyst or ux designer
i feel like i am too late in this race i dont know what everything will lead , confused and scared
Aayla
January 19th
@faithfulBunny2191 I'm sorry you feel like this and I can only imagine how hard it feels. But struggling to find a direction in life means one thing: you are alive, despite every circumstances that worked against you. You have not given up, you've survived something so tough and so unfair that I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not being seen and understood, not having a way to express yourself, having to hide and face a life that doesn't feel like your own... It's something terrifying, but it didn't break you. You're still here.
You've been strong so far, and you can keep being strong. One small step at a time. First, try to figure out what works best for you in terms of covering your basic needs. You have skills to employ, you're resourceful, and I'm sure once you've figured out what works best for you in terms of career, you'll manage to find a place for you.
If you can, try to allow yourself space to express yourself and your identity the way you prefer. You can share your identity with trusted and supportive people, reach out for LGBTQ groups and associatiations to meet people with similar experiences that can help you handle everything, you can experiment with things like clothing or your chosen name at places and times where you feel safe enough to do so.
There's no right or wrong path to take, and you're not "late" to anything: you're living your life while doing the best you can with the circumstances you're in. It doesn't make your identity, or any way you choose to express it, any less valid. Expressing your gender is more than just hormones and surgeries - although if that's what you want, I hope you can find a way to do it and be supported through it.
At the end of the day, nothing can belittle who are and make you any less valid. It's all about figure out a path to deal with the circumstances, to take care of yourself, and to allow yourself to be as happy as you can be.
GoodTrouble19
January 21st
@faithfulBunny2191
hi 32 ftm