heteroromantic, but not heterosexual - is it possible?

(the heteroromantic homosexual flag, a grayscale heart over the homosexual flag)

We all have heard the term ‘heteroromantic’ at least once from LGBTQ+ folks. But many of us don’t know what it actually means when an LGBTQ+ folk says it.

What does heteroromantic mean individually?

Heteroromantic means being romantically attracted to the opposite sex. Most heterosexual people are heteroromantic.

What does heteroromantic mean when said by an LGBTQ+ folk?

When an LGBTQ+ folk says they identify as heteroromantic, it means that they are romantically attracted to the opposite sex, but could identify sexually as homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, or even asexual (and many more terms, such as queer, demisexual, omnisexual, polysexual, and the list goes on).

Very often, as a heteroromantic omnisexual, I’m receiving a ‘straight-passing’ card.

What is straight-passing?

As Urban Dictionary describes it, straight-passing is acting as if one has the sexuality of a heterosexual in order to be perceived as such and avoid appearances that may cause threatening perceptions.

In the concept of being a heteroromantic omnisexual, in my case, it means - since I choose to focus more on romantic relationships rather than sexual - behaving and appearing heterosexual to the world outside myself because people often conflate romantic and sexual attraction. On the other hand, if I were to choose to focus on sexual relationships rather than romantic ones, the world would presume me to be homosexual (and likely homoromantic).

Straight-passing gets even more complicated when you identify as a heteroromantic and are part of the multisexual umbrella - where your sexual attraction also includes individuals to who you are romantically attracted - in this case, your sexual attractions that do not coincide with your romantic attraction may be ignored or called unimportant/irrelevant.

How can others better support heteroromantic people that are queer?

The best way to possibly support them is by understanding and validating the terms they use, as well as by being respectful toward them. Another thing you can do is inform yourself more on the topic and if you happen to notice someone being invalidated or disrespected (and is safe for you to do so) - don’t hesitate to step in and support that person! Knowing there are people who show understanding towards that term can be very encouraging to us <3

Questions:

1. Have you ever met someone who is heteroromantic and queer? How difficult has it been for them? Otherwise, if you identify as a heteroromantic and a queer, how has that journey been for you?

2. How have you shown support toward the heteroromantic and queer folks?

   
   

   tagging the subcommunity taglist (to be added/removed, click here!)

   @0OOXOO0z @0verth1nker8 @2019DOGS @22butterflies @3m1lywh3at0n @4Butterflies2Dragonflies @A2021203 @ablacklatinx @abpio @ace2929 @acesarrow @Adamjohns22 @adorableSky52 @affectionateHuman529 @agreeableEyesz @AHMED1998 @Aimee198 @AlexWilson @Alexx26 @AlexXxBlake @Alienoid @Alkina @ambitiousNorth1459 @AMusicalSilence @amusingCoconut @amusingCoconut5687 @AnastasiaSmith @anewdaydawning @angelbunnybby @anis2222 @anna5485 @anonym0815 @anshumanverma @Antthony101 @archerzvy @Arihaanth @Arnav012568 @Arsonbaby @Arthilio27 @Asheristired @athf4ever @Aubrey2018 @AveryLove @awalkintheforest @axolotladler @AzureWinter @badoinkitydoop @BaileeIsDaBomb @BaileyRomme @Banjothebudgie @Batman64546 @beautifulFireworks63 @Bendall6456 @Biamcc27 @bigirl06 @Blake790 @blissfulForest7074 @blithesoul64 @Bloog @blueAcai8991 @blueBeing7491 @blueCamp8059 @bluehouse2020 @Bob1144 @bobby15 @BookyCapri @boomboom1bakubro @bpanon0510 @bpate00 @bread4 @brendenjensen @brendenjnsn @BrooklynM @BubbleTea15 @BumbleBee1523 @CallmeKir @calmPine4337 @celestialnova @centremid @chaoticneutraldreamer @Charcoaldust @Charlielloyd11 @Charmingplum4444 @charpercharlie @CherryBlossom7717 @chronosrose @CindyIsNotOkay @Civciv1453 @CivilJay @Clouldystarz @Cloverrz @cocoafp191 @colorfulHeart78 @comfortingAngel @compassion4you14 @compassionateCreature2268 @compassionateThinker6493 @confidentialuser3322 @Confusedpear237 @considerateHeart21 @CoolRainboom @creativeLand811 @creativePenguin5165 @crimsonVillage5753 @Crismerlyn @cUsTaRdGiRl @cyanOrange9429 @dagaz13th @Daisymayes @DanceDanceMCRFOB @dapperThunderstorm17 @Davide @Dazzaboi @Deathdream13 @DebbieSapiosexual @DecayingPuppet @decisiveScarf8956 @Deerpark49 @DevinJG @Dinosaur @DinoSour @Dogbone17 @dreus1974 @DrowningWords @DylanletterR @dynamicSea7676 @easywest5007 @ElixirLove887 @ella2si @Elliot8Waugh @ElliotAnxiety27 @elxirr @EmiLou05 @EmmyKawaii @EnbyFreind @ErosLovely @ethanrsmith @FaboulousUnicornPotateo @fairmindedLychee7474 @fairmindedMap8489 @FantasyChapters @Fardec46 @Feirylesbian @FentonDnD @figFog @Flowerinthewind @FluffyHamster666 @forcefulStrawberries7963 @ForestFern12 @FranklyMaple @Frankpenny3679 @Gagaintheroom @galactictroubles @galacticwolfspirit @GayLisaSimpson @GeriatricWeasels @GlitteringNights @Gloomybubble @goldenbeach22 @GoldenDog9992 @Gr33nIvy @Grace8402 @Gracie815 @greatfulRainfall46 @GwennyGwenya @h9y43n @HadesAzander @HalliB23 @Harper5555555555 @HawkM @hazelhorizons @heavenshadow @helloLime5675 @helpfulSummer9270 @Heybecca96 @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @hippylonglegs @HisokaChan @honest13 @Hyacinth22 @HydroTobo @i @IcarusFlew @Icean @Idk @Idk1405 @imaginativeSouth302 @Imkindawierd @ImpartialBirch1435 @impartialOwl3393 @imrose123 @IndecisiveClementine186 @InfinityPhoenix2001 @inolasnasadnarim @Insertnamehere45 @IntergalacticRaven @intuitivePond9315 @inventiveWalker6918 @iraismyname @ItsJustLauren @ItsReganingRain @ItzLeo @ivoryCircle1219 @IvyL @Ivywater @jammiedodgerrr @Jane27 @jayden173 @JaytheNinja @jazzyrainbow15 @Jisola @jKempy @jkwon @johnny77 @Josefina93 @jprouv @Julianna2 @justanotherpersonbehindascreen2 @Justmeforyou @KalleeSmith @Kashew11 @kasperkat @KateDoskocilova @Kay63 @KeiSocolov @kinchaxel @kindowl400 @KingdomKey1314 @KinkyTheSilentWitch @Kira09 @Kirahhhh @Kiraiki @Kittycatra13 @koopwei @Kou @Kpopcat2020 @Krish29 @kwheelz @LadyDair @laicrose @Lakomb @LanaSwift89 @Lasagna1 @lavenderTree2843 @Lazmaxwell @lazyfudge @Lazypotato786 @lemongrasstea07 @LeoSun4 @LeoTheLittleLoinCub @libra68 @lightMoon8193 @Lmarie1217 @LocaBella @Lol883 @lovewillspread @loyalBirch3538 @loyalThinker4958 @Luluintheroom @Luminescentknight @Luna7298 @lunareyes37 @LunaWolf222 @Lupinpollo @Luriner @lxveyoongi @Lynse6713 @lyricalAngel70 @MAB23 @Mae @MakisLp @mari123sg @MasterMoose93 @MedicatedSappho @MedicinalMelody @meltheowl @MiaT465 @Michael2027 @migelato30 @miraculousheart9815 @MisterPrincess316 @MomoDeMomo @Moodyson @Mooingcow1234 @mortalixty @MrJacob @MSFrost @musicgeek14 @MysterySpirit @NaeNae1517 @Naila2 @NamelessVamp @Nathalie00912 @navySea134 @Necas209 @NeonBlueButterfly @neonFarm9776 @neonxlilac @Nermie @NicoAce @nikkinik @nikolaiShadow @nonbinarycactus22 @NotFrostButAPoet @Notfrostbutpoet @NotKhan @Onedirection23 @optimisticAJ13 @osbella @ouwillbefound @owo123 @oyster7potato @PaganWarrior @Parvlakin @passionateApple7952 @PeaceLoveandPaws @peasantisactuallygod1617 @pepper2018 @persistentCircle1437 @Person12269 @Phillyriver @PhoenixAsh @PhoenixPatronus @Pinnae @pipandlivmania @pluckySouth5223 @PointlessExistence4982 @practicalIdeal2007 @Prettydays124 @PuffPride7 @Pumpkinpi @Purplebike7965 @Purpleflowerbud @purplesnail @quinton107 @Rainbovv @Rainbows3112 @RainyWithAWhy @Randall72 @Randie @raymaniii @rbfkun @rd1212 @RedApples667 @reliablePond8050 @renstilice @reservedPark5193 @resourcefulPond1641 @RJTransman @robyn420 @Roisin0 @Rosary @RoseTeaRabbit @royalRainbow1408 @rquote @Rubylistens22 @RustyNails @RyleighBr1anne @Ryth @Sadlonely90 @samantha5wales @Sanskruti29 @sapphicchloe @Saskianite @SassyVagrant @ScreenName34 @selfdisciplinedKitten6648 @SereneBreeze123 @shadow8817 @shadowling13 @Shaeeeee @Shorday15 @Skyash @SkylarListens @SlipperySlope0 @slytherinluvbot @Smolbean23 @Snapesnapeseverussnape @Sociablesky577 @sofiai9 @softRainbow9008 @Soleena @solidago @solsearchin @Sombrius @Someonelost @Someonlost @SomnolentLaelis @SparkyGizmo @spectacularEnergy60 @spiritwolf75 @spooderfaxy1987 @Stardew3 @stardust42 @stargazer45116 @Sthesia @stingray777 @StrawberryLemonade06 @stuckintime92 @Summerlove18976 @sunflower026 @sunflowerrs @SunnySideTrinket @sweetmango91 @sweetMelody95 @taescheek @TaylorAlise @taylorhugs12 @taylorjensen @Taylzasoldastime @Tealperson @The0Vetoed0System @TheAutumnWitch @theindigojournal @TheoRae8289 @TheQueerCollective @thoughtfulApple1359 @tigerlily249 @tinycactus809 @tranquilForever68 @TroubledWithLife @Trying15 @TryingTBH2021 @turquoiseHemlock900 @turquoiseLand8120 @turtle5678 @uzumaki6 @venusnity @veronikamalik @versatileLake2802 @vgranieri @vibiebb @vikingwolf802 @viktorija120 @wamayay07 @wannatalkaboutit @warmheartedCity8277 @werenotgonnatakeit @WhoIAM2you @willpowered17 @WonderfulHart1330 @wonderfulMango5023 @worldwidejinn @Xaixu @xDarkNigxtmare0981x @xinyii11 @XwonderlandgirlX @xxharleyxx @Yavmarcus @YellowCanary11 @yellowdragon028 @YinYinChan @yourbuddy30 @yournewfriend13 @zenona5 @ZhaviaMachete