14 years of love but at a distance (help)
I have been in a gay relationship going on 14 years now but sometimes it doesnt feel like 14 years because of how I treat our relationship it seems. Things at home are good with us but dates and such when its just us feel like I am still scared as hell being in public or to show any sort of affection. I feel like the majority of our relationship that I have been in fight or flight mode unless I am 100% sure that I wont have any issues with others and my relationship. Matter of fact even if I have a good time during dates I leave them many times depressed because of all the couples I see around me that are showing some sort of affection that I am scared to show. I have been through many ups and downs in many ways with my spouse but this is one thing I have had a major issue with during my relationship and its been hard for me to shake it. I didnt have the best coming out way back when with my family and still dont feel close to my family and that may be a part of it but I want to feel better about LIVING life with my spouse rather than being scared. I feel stuck with this mindset and I dont know what to do to changes it.
@Kisiutao hey there, i totally get what you are talking about, problems with coming out and then seeing all the people around, just showing around really easy and never having a probem while opening up about their relationships and not being able to feel safe and ok having any social intractions, which is completely fine to have them, with the one you love and loved for 14 years... that's something which everyone in your place would feel tired of the situation and want everything to be normal and not to feel scared after all this time... i know how it feels and i also get how it looks like for you right now, but it can and it WILL be alright it's just that you need to fix it and accept by heart that no matter how everyone else looks like, or how your family's behaviour was back when you came out, who you are and your relationship is totally fine and that you deserve a safe feeling in your relationship and keep feeling great after a date!! feel free to reply and tell me more about what's rushing in your mind or making your heart feel heavy or just simply talk to a friend and i'll be here to answer as soon as possible *-* take care until then!!