I’m gay and i might be homophobic

@EdgarJo

Hi friend! 😊 Welcome to 7Cups, here is a welcome pack that I hope can be helpful

What you're saying makes a lot of sense, and I hear that confusion and fear. It's actually so common for members of the LGBTQ+ communites to experience varying degrees of internalized homophobia that there have been studies done on it, particularly in gay men.

You also mentioned that it could be a form of jealously, which is 100% valid. It sounds like it could even be both, and I know that it must be difficult trying to sort it all out. I just want you to know that you're not alone in this. A lot of lot of lot of people have dealt with similar.

Sending warmth 💜🌿

@EdgarJo

Hello,

Thank you for sharing what I think a lot of people often feel but are not as self-aware or comfortable enough to share out loud. I think internalized homophobia is a very common experience and as @WarmLightXO described there have been lots of clinical studies identifying the existence and the impact it has on people's life.

I think it can be hard sometimes to understand when a romantic/sexual preference is motivated by a negative view or stereotype that could be harmful. Some people are attracted to people with muscles and tattoos because they like going to the gym and express themselves through body art, where others like people with muscles and tattoos because they view it as being "manly enough". And sometimes when you ask someone who holds these negative views of "manly enough", they will not openly share that, that is why they have such preferences.

In my experience as a gay man who can be more flamboyant a lot of times people will meet me and tell me "based on your Instagram or if I saw you on Tinder I probably wouldn't want to approach you" because their perception of who I am is negative and does not actually match the person they got to know and enjoy. But interestingly enough when I've asked them what would you add to my profile to be more true to me, no one has ever had a suggestion for me cause after having gotten to know me they see my profile as an accurate representation of who I am. But they no longer perceive me through stereotypes. So basically, another example supporting 'don't judge a book by it's cover'.

You mentioned feeling disconnected from the LGBTQ+ community and I wonder if there are ways you could start to feel more connected. The most beautiful part of the LGBTQ+ community for me is the focus on inclusivity. It is my belief that the community welcomes you, especially while you're having an honest conversation with yourself and considering who you want to be.

Again, I just want to say this is not an easy thing to do, and to share about, and I commend you for it. I hope you can connect with the community and be able to enjoy embracing others while also being embraced!

With kindness,

Blake 🌼

It’s a natural response to something you know is deep down wrong to be flamboyant. You are uncomfortable because it’s not normal . You are not alone in this . It’s a little creepy how far out people are becoming .