I need help.
I’ve always known I’ve been attracted to men my whole life but I bottled it up. Mainly because i was trying to always impress everyone. Everyone would ask if I was gay or call me names and I thought the best way to life was to just hide it all, date girls and prove everyone wrong. I recently had two encounters with another guy and it was different. He was different. I felt we both could relate because we both knew what we wanted. It really tore me up inside and I’ve finally come to terms with the fact I like men. I talked to this other person just to get some reassurance on what he was going through. But that didn’t go so well. He said he has questioned himself before but he found his forever person. That being his soon to be wife. I just wish I could go back and take it all back. But I know that won’t do any good. But I feel worse about myself now than I ever have before. I feel like I’m carrying this guys burden even tho he said he was fine. But I feel deep down he is hurting. But in the same breath i think because he was my “first” I have these strong feelings towards him. And the fact that he’s with someone he’s not happy with. They’re always fighting and that’s when he came to see me. Anyone have advice?
Thank you for sharing this, it might be wise to take a chance and see where the friendship with each other goes too.
@honestWheel6679 Hi there! I'm sorry you're going thru this. I can understand how painful it is to have feelings for someone who chooses to be in a relationship with someone else. I wish I could tell you to be patient, to wait for him and see how things unfold, to be there to support him as his friend. But I know from experience how much it hurts to stay and at the same time how hard it is to let go. I think it's amazing that you're able to admit to yourself that you are attracted to men. It's something I've yet to really open up to about with anyone else. What I can tell you is that things will get better. Even if the guy you have feelings for right now isn't who you end up with, love will find you again and the next time around, it won't be like this, having to guess what you mean to him or if he's being honest with himself. Have hope that all this pain was necessary to clear the way for what's just up ahead.
@honestWheel6679 Hello! It's understandable the struggle that you are waging right now, first of all, to realize your sexuality, and on the other side, your relationship with this man, who is also fighting with himself. Unfortunately, the decisions that people make can often only be made by themselves. It is a delicate situation, he has chosen to join this person (despite going against his true feelings, his true sexuality) I would like to ask you a question: If this person, being already married, asked you to continue meeting with you, would you accept? I think this would hurt you a lot and eventually, it would lead to both of you in a very difficult situation. I think you should take care of yourself first, decide if you want to lead an openly gay life (I don't mean to be an exhibitionist or any of those silly prejudices). Nobody but you should care about your well-being. Hopefully your situation can be solved in the best terms. keep going on your path of self discovery
