In love with straight best friend
I'm a gay male whose developed a huge crush on my straight best friend. It happened at the end of January after some comments my friends had made. They insinuated that he may have feelings for me because he volunteers to pay for things all the time, even though I always pay him back, and because we spend alot of time together. I explained to them that he is 100% straight. I mean he had been with his ex girlfriend for over 8 years and they had a son together. He even made the comment when I came out to him that he didn't understand how I could be attracted to guys, but that it didn't matter to him. But they stated a straight man doesn't act like he does to a gay man.
I tried to shake off their comments, but it's been bothering me ever since. Now I can't stop thinking about him, to the point where I'm obsessing over him. When we go to bars and he talks to other people, I get jealous. Everyday when I log into Facebook, I always check to see if he's active. I also get mad when I see him commenting on other people's posts.
Although he is attractive, I feel like I fell in love with his personality. He's one of the most kindest, caring guys I've ever met. He's always there for me and knows when something is wrong. He always comes to me for advice or just someone to talk to. We just look out for one another like family. It makes me feel so good and I can honestly say I've never had a friendship like this with a guy, straight or gay.
But the problem is he's straight and I'm gay. Nothing is ever gonna come from this except us being best friends and I had told myself this from the moment I met him. But ever since my friends comments, I just can't accept it and move on. I really don't know what to do at this point.
I will eventually talk to him about this, but he already kinda knows I had a crush on him because I had mentioned it before, but it was never to this level. Has anyone else ever been through something like this. If so, what did you do? I refuse to completely stop talking to him as it would kill me worse than I'm feeling right now. I don't have many friends and he's important to me.
@hussjrt I had a best friend some yeaars ago. We were like brothers, always sleeping over, goung out with each toher family, going on trips together... The best friends you could imagine, just like in the movies. We ended up living together when we were in college. It was the best time of my life but I never felt so depressed and hurt, especially when he was dating some girls. Because i was totally in lovw with him from the first second I saw him. In the end, he didn't want to tak lto me anymore because my love and suffering made me a bitter, sad, hurt and weird. I couldn't be close to him anymore and we just had to split. I never told anyone that i loved him or why we got apart. Absolutely no one in my life. I didn't even pute it down in my diary.
So, I think you should just give yourself some time and spice and grow apart from him. It's painful, maybe, but if you stay next to him you will like him more and more and at some point it will destroy you. Trust me.
I hope it helps you a bit and I'm really sorry to know that you a re in this position, but I think every gay person has been, so you're not alone. Hughs.
@Mars713 Thank you for sharing your story. Our situations seem so similar. We are just like brothers as well and do alot together. He hasn't started dating any girls yet, but I imagine when he does I will be as depressed as you were. I have been doing a good job this week not texting him and checking his Facebook profile. It has been going well, but I believe that's also because I'm talking to people like yourself about the situation. I've had many people tell me I need to move on and get him out of my life, but I simply can't. He's like the perfect friend and I've never had someone else like this in my life. I don't have many friends and I feel if I were to lose him, I'd be devastated and go into an even worse depression, so it's simply not an option. I just hope after I talk to him about it, I will get better. He's such an understanding guy and I know he won't be wierd with me after we talk. I guess I'm just waiting for the right time to do it.
@hussjrt I hope everything gets better after yout talk to him. Maybe if you keep being realistic and focusing on the friendship part, you will get along. Once I heard that what you don't hide can't hurt you and telling is heaing. Please take care and focus on what you need and what makes you feel good. Best whishes.
