Am I non-binary?
Hi y'all,
I'm kinda new to this, so please bear with me.
I'm starting to wonder if I might be non-binary, though I'm not entirely sure why. I'm female, but I've always been kinda tomboyish and never really liked dressing up or wearing makeup, only occasionally. Recently realized that I was Bi, tho I've been married to a straight cis man for over ten years. Idk if I'm just having a midlife crisis or if I'm just going through a bout of depression, but now I'm starting to question my gender. I don't think I'm trans, but there are times when I just want to dress and act like a man (I also work in a very male-dominated career, so idk if that's a factor,) but sometimes I do want to dress more feminine. To complicate matters, I'm overweight so it's pretty obvious that I am a woman, even though I have short hair and usually dress casually. I'm writing on trying to lose weight, so idk if that will help or make things more confusing if I'm actually able to look like the gender I feel like.....
Anyway, I really don't know exactly what's going on in my brain or what to do about it, so I'd appreciate whatever support or advice that y'all could give. Thanks 🙂
@reliableDime8449 I would say, how feminine or masculine you are or want to be has nothing to do with gender. Women can have short hair men can have long hair, either can dress fem or masc, etc etc. Gender expression doesn’t equal gender identity so however you want to present yourself is totally cool, but doesn’t make you non-binary unless you feel you don’t want to be seen as woman or man (different from feminine/masculine in other words dressing like a man/woman) and feel dysphoric with being female. And even then I would be careful not to rush into a label. It’s smart to ask these questions and get other peoples input. Hope that helped
Good for you... Doing your research to help yourself. That takes courage.
I'm 64 and I've always been non-binary and pansexual but until recently had no idea what it was called. I just knew it inside. Male anatomy but can be quite feminine. As an older person, I have not bothered about pronouns or how I dress. The pronouns they/them would apply to me but I hate them. They are so generic, impersonal and sound like you're talking in the plural sense. So I don't care. As for my dress, I'm typically dressed as any guy would, but I have great desire but not the courage to wear a skirt and blouse.
Being old and overweight and just discovering this *** about myself recently (at least in a way that can be articulated), I feel undesirable and lonely. I'm married too...26 years. We are only roommates now and have been for a long time. Even she doesn't know this stuff about me
So I guess all that BS is to say, be courageous and follow your heart. You've only been married 10 years, so you're probably not even 40 yet. You have lots of time to lose weight. Discover yourself and figure out the life you want to lead and who you want to be a part of it. I know I don't know you and you don't know me, but I appreciated your your message And I believe in you. Go for it!
That’s something only you can answer. It takes a while for all of us to find out who we really are. I’ve started thinking about this two years before I came out, and asked myself a similar question for about 3 months. This is something you’ll have to reflect on your own. You’re valid for choosing or not choosing whichever label feels at home with you the most.
This resource has helped me, and I hope you’ll find this helpful too: https://genderdysphoria.fyi
