Help
The past two years I've been using all pronouns although he/him have always been the ones I feel the best using, It always makes me feel good when someone actually uses those pronouns when speaking to me and a little disappointed when they use any others, I've known I was trans for a while but I don't know how to tell my friends and I know my family wont accept that, so my closer friends and my family only use she/her when speaking to me, but I've been introducing myself as transmasc to newer friends, the problem is, I don't want my older friends to find out about this because I have not told them anything, and my boyfriend, which I have been with for about a year and love very much, is straight
We already spoke about whether he would date me if I was (hypothetically) born a dude and he gave me a clear no, so I'm afraid that he might leave me if I tell him, a lot of my closer friends are also his friends so I don't want to come out to them in case they slip up or something and he finds out. At this point it's gotten too complicated to keep track of and I don't know what to do anymore
@Erin11037 Oh, that is a tough place to be. It sounds like you know in your heart which pronouns you want to use, and how you want o project yourself, but that you are in fear of rejection, and aren't ready to come out to everyone in your life at this point.
I wonder what would make you feel more ready, or feel more empowered?
It sounds like your newer friends are more open and accepting of the "real you".
If there are family members or other people in your life who are not accepting or kind about you and your chosen pronouns, it is ok to create some space between them and yourself. It is ok to protect you and your mental health.
If you ever want to talk more deeply 1-1 about what you are thinking and feeling, please reach out to a listener. You can start here: www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
I don't think it's really worth it to stay with someone who wouldn't like you if you shared an honest part of how you feel. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to hide anything about yourself for fear of your partner leaving you if they knew. Besides, you are very young, you have a lot of time to figure yourself out, a lot of change coming, and a lot of people to meet. Being honest, it's likely you won't be with him forever, you're both going to naturally just change a lot, so there's really no use hiding yourself to appease someone who you likely won't be with forever, even if you very much like being with them now.
@Erin11037 I think unless your safety is compromised in any way, you should tell your boyfriend. If he or your old friends don't respect the way you identify, then they don't deserve to be your friends.
As for your family, you should hold off on that until you can support yourself financially just in case. That's not work risking otherwise.