I feel like a fraud
So I came out and started transitioning back in 2020 (transmasc but maybe ftm because it seems to be evolving) and am currently 9 months on T. I love the changes it’s been giving me and I much prefer being seen as a guy and genuinely can’t imagine a happy future for myself if I hadn’t come out, but I’m going through a rough patch and it won’t leave me alone. I know it’s probably just a normal part of dysphoria, but my brain keeps trying to convince me I’m not actually trans, that I’m just a cis girl trying to be different, and I can never be a guy with the body I have. And while my friend group is almost entirely queer people, we don’t have a huge trans community where I live so I don’t have a whole lot of people irl to talk to about this to know if it happens to others as well. I want to be a guy but I can’t help feeling like a girl with the thoughts that I’m faking it.
@Fynn016
Dear Fynn,
it sounds like you are in a lot of confusion regarding your gender identity and that you are having second thoughts about transitioning, like part of you believes that you are supposed to be a cis girl. I can comprehend that the whole transitioning is a lot to deal with emotionally, mentally and phisically.
Please keep in mind, transitioning is not easy. This is a rocky road for many people who made the commitment to go through with it. During this process, I am sure that there will be feelings of dissatisfaction, doubts about this being a mistake, confusion, but also, a lot of acception and learning about loving yourself, icluding the new self you are becoming.
You don't have to be like anyone else, nor you have to put yourself into a category (if you don't want to or if that makes you feel uneasy). It is okay to live a life others do not understand! Even if that means that one day you are feeling and wanting to bahave like a female, the other like a male, or anything in between. Whatever you decide, I trust that you will find a solution which will suit you as a unique individual. ❤️
Give yourself time, be kind to yourself 😊
@Fynn016
it is a normal thing i am trans (FTM) too you're not alone!
❤️