Im I valid enough
Hey so im just trying to make sure if im actually valid as a guy because of somethings
so I stay at my Grandmas right and she said she cant call me a guy/male name/he/him because she says she knew me as a kid and I never told her I wanted to be a boy as a kid
she said she believes some people are truly trans if they were a kid who did typically “opposite gender” things as kids
but for me she said she doesnt believe as me a guy and also because “im too mentally ill to make that decision” and said she would only believe me if I had physical proof (like I have to be intersex for her to believe me)
I remember playing with all kinds of toys including mine and my brothers I dont think I cared what gender the toy was supposed to be for
also when I was younger in a game I was playing a villain kidnapped us and was going to change or gender as a punishment or something and I was thinking “lol that doesnt sound like a punishment”
when I was a kid I remember trying to be a girl but never truly felt like one it felt like I was faking it but didnt know why but I tried being one also I thought anyone Afab didnt actually want to be a girl but it was tolerable enough deal with it but as I got older it was worse and worse
I think the things that caused me to realize was when my dad forced me to dress femininely in public and wear makeup which caused me to feel absolutely disgusted by myself and my body more than I ever did before also I had an online friend come out as a trans woman somewhat recently after that so I think I kinda started to question after that (also I liked when people online called me he/him lol)
After that I started starting feeling like the gender identity go away from the feminine ones to neutral (only because I thought I couldnt be a dude because of how unmasculine and weak I felt like I was which I still feel ashamed about especially now that I know I actually am one) and now to masculine
it just upsets me that barely anyone I know seems to believe me and I regret not saying it when I was younger even though I didnt fully understand it enough then to realize I was gender dysphoric (maybe im just stupid because some kids realize it even when theyre young)
@aquaPlace3807
You are not stupid at all.
There's no set formula.
Or time to come out, or feel comfortable with who you are or even have the language to understand it.
It can be daunting.
Some people might look like they have it easier, but that could be because they had support.
It's important to not rush or pressure anything.
Give yourself time and space to open up and talk to people going through similar 💚😊
@Amanda84 Thank you
@aquaPlace3807
A pleasure 💚
@aquaPlace3807 please, do not call yourself stupid. You are not stupid. I am an adult and I did not realize I was transgender until was around 18 years old. I didn't even know there was such a thing as transgender men until I heard it on the news one day. So not realizing you are transgender and not knowing what gender dysphoria is when you are younger does not make you stupid. So please don't call yourself stupid.
I know you shared a lot of your story here, and that was very brave of you, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story at all because that takes courage. I also wanted to let you know that you are valid. Just because people in your life don't want to acknowledge or respect you doesn't mean you aren't valid. You are as valid as the next transgender person. The thing with transgender people is that most of us are scared to say anything and come out of the closet to the people we care about. Once again, I believe you are a brave person for sharing your gender with your grandma, even if she was unaccepting. You are accepted here and very valid.
But I know words don't mean much without emotion. So here is a bit of my story. I have a few mental disorders including anxiety, depression, and a few others I shall not name. From the moment I started to question my gender, I thought to myself "am I just becoming even more mentally ill?" and I was so ashamed of myself that I couldn't accept myself for years. When I finally accepted myself as a transgender man, I felt like light shined on my world. But I was still to scared to tell anyone other than one of my family members who I trust the most. When she believed me, that I really am transgender, I felt that light again. I really wish that you will one day experience that light, or that you have already have because it is the best feeling in the world.
I also wanted to tell you that just because your physical appearance isn't the stereotypical man does not make you less of a man. It's your actions that decide if you are a man, or at least, that's what I believe haha
Anyway, thank you for sharing your story, you are very valid, and you are respected here. Please continue to be brave and I wish you all the best in this world.
@shyChestnut9000 Thanks bro and yeah im sorry I call myself stupid all the time so mb lol