I think I'm trans but I'm terrified...
Ive finally realized that all this time I've been getting euphoria from masculine things. Every night lately Ive been daydreaming of being a boy, and during the day as well. Ever since I was little I've had the signs of being trans but I didnt know and/or pushed it down until now. It started with online names that sounded masculine and male pfps and playing as male characters and etc and etc until eventually i realized all these things associated with male/masculine gave me euphoria and the gender I had to be everyday did not. I went through a major period of dysphoria and I just hated my chest. I pushed that away and ignored it but it's back. And I've started to question, was my depersonalization and depression linked to dysphoria and i didn't realize it? Is the fact that I always feel like I'm living the wrong life, I'm in the wrong body, because of dysphoria? Are the things I've been so desperately trying to piece together (because I've always felt like some part of me needs to come out, or is unfulfilled) my trans identity?
I follow alot of trans men on social medias. And I said its because I think theyre cool, or I think they have a nice personality or a handsome face but...I think its truly because I envy them, and I hope that I could transition like them.
What do I do? I feel like a disappointment, as I'm also aroace. I want to go by he/him or he/they and I want to transition but Im scared people will leave me, not support me and that maybe it might be the wrong decsion. I've only told few people I'm aroace, and some people didnt fully believe me or understand.
By now, I've thought so much I just know I'm trans. The question is, what now? Im terrified to do anything else and im tempted to just continue pushing it down to try to live a normal cis life. But little cis people has spent hours researching their gender, had dreams about being the opposite gender and enjoyed it, fantasized about it, tried to dress/act like the opposite gender etc.
Advice? Please? And how to deal with dysphoria?
I’m not sure I’m the right person to give you advice, but sometimes in life, when people don’t support you, you need to let those people leave your life because it’s probably for the best, even if it’s painful to see them go (if they don’t accept you for who you are, they don’t deserve you). I’m a non binary AFAB and I also feel dysphoric sometimes, I don’t have a large breast so I just wear sports bras and baggy clothes, but if you have a larger chest, you can get a binder, it’s not perfect but it can help, though, if you have a smaller chest, like me, it doesn’t really do anything. Wearing man’s shirt can make you shoulders appear larger for a more masculine silhouette. I don’t know if you’re curvy, but if you’re dysphoric about your hips, wearing mid-waist jean that are a little baggy can help reducing their appearance. Hope it helps ;)
I'd say to just tell them, don't be afraid, slay king or whatever, but I can't take my own advice. I think I can understand what you're going through and I'm sorry, although that can't mean much. I don't really have any tips, but please take care of yourself. We're going to make it
@Phoebust
that sucks and I relate in some ways. I'm afab, genderfulid, and on the aroace spectrum. pushing this down will make it worse later. One of the most important things I've is that you can't hide from yourself. If you can get a binder I highly suggest it, but BIND SAFELY. I cannot stress this enough: do not use bandages or trans tape, if you can't get a binder use two sports bras, one forward, one backward. other than that, find your people. We are here for you, and congrats on starting to figure yourself out! it gets so much better.
If you ever need to talk I'm here
@confusedbean123
by one forward one backward do you mean inside out or the back part on the front? and which one first?
@LonleyCheese
You should do more research before trying it, but the most common way is to put on a sportsbra like normal, and then put on another with the back part across the front of your chest.
here's a video on the topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYuwAeLXkbA
@confusedbean123
Unfortunately the video is blocked on my (school) computer, but thanks! I'll have to try that. I have the money for a binder but I can't have my parents order it online for me so I need to find another person that I can trust with the task.. But yeah, thanks! hope it works, and don't worry I'll be safe
It doesn't work with racerback that was extremely awkward lol
