What am I??? Am I gender fluid or what?
I came out to everyone three years ago (12yo) as trans ftm. Last year, I went from just he/him pronouns to he/they. But within the last week or so, it's become more and more obvious that something's not quite right with that. I used to be extremely upset by any female terms, then last year I was starting to get used to them, and now this year I almost like them? People call me she/her and I don't feel the need to correct them, not because I'm afraid of being assertive about my pronouns but because I genuinely don't mind it at all anymore.
But the thing is, I feel... Bad about this. I spent three years trying my hardest to get people to see me as male, or to at least use the right name and pronouns. If I changed any of that I'd be reversing it. I already changed my name at the end of last year after deciding I didn't like my original chosen name, and I'm SO happy with my current name (Adonis). But, the other day some random girl came up to me and told me I looked like my name would be Andromeda. Since then, I haven't stopped thinking about that name. I've heard it once or twice since, and I just googled it to find out it has EXTREMELY similar roots as Adonis. Before that, I had been questioning my pronouns, but not my name. I'm still perfectly happy with my name, but I almost want both? I don't know if that's really an option or not, but I like both, they're pretty similar, and they both fit me. Both have origins in Greek mythology, which I've loved since I was little, and Andromeda is associated with space, which I've also always loved. My first chosen name was Jupiter, so the space thing definitely fits with me as a person.
I don't know. I'm scared to talk to anyone about this. So far I've only told my girlfriend. I told her how I was questioning my pronouns and she told me not to worry about it too much, and now she hasn't really had much comment on the name, so I don't really know what to do.
@AndromedaGalaxy14 Hey, I understand how confused you might be feeling right now, and it's perfectly fine to feel that way. I think even recognizing that you might be genderfluid is a great step to identifying who you are as a person. I think both Andromeda and Adonis are beautiful names, and I have no doubt both suit who you are. Sometimes I like to use a different name than my own as an alias, so if you feel like using one of your choices as a pseudonym, that's an option too! All of this is up to you of course, so don't feel the pressure to take all of my advice to heart.
Sending love and support, sparkly kitten
having multiple names is definitely normal! i have plenty of freinds who go by multiple names, and for some i’ll switch them up and for others they have preferences at certain times along with pronouns. your ftm transition doesn’t have to be permanent, gender is fluid (no pun intended) and people change their pronouns all the time.
don’t try and feel like you’re “going backwards” because in reality you’re going forward. you’re figuring yourself out and we are truly always finding what makes us comfortable
if gender-fluid seems like the label for you, i would say try and figure it out for a little bit by yourself before getting peoples opinions. because in truth how you feel is what matters most.
there are also other genders that might suit you, so i would suggest searching some up as well! bigender, genderqueer and gender neutral could also fit how you’re feeling
also remember that you don’t have to have a label your gender, you are you no matter which label you have. and labels are not needed, just if they make you feel comfortable
hope this helps!
Honestly kinda just sounds like puberty to me. You felt one way when you were pre/just starting puberty, and now as you're growing and changing, naturally how you feel about yourself changes too. It's understandable that what name or pronouns you want is changing and confusing, because puberty is just a time about change and confusion and figuring yourself out. Tbh picking a name for yourself during a time of extreme change and fluctuation probably isn't the best timing....I think any person of any gender would be very uncertain of the "right" name if they picked themselves right in the middle of puberty
The fact our stories are SO similar is concerning- I came out as trans 3 years ago(I was also 12 years old) and I would always get so upset over feminine terms being used on me to the point I'd cry each time I got misgendered. Before some months I started not minding any terms being used on me but I was mad at myself for that and I was pretty depressed because I identified as trans for so long and didn't want my gender identity to change. After some time though I realized that I was actually still a trans male I was just going through a phase of confusion/dysphoria/overthinking
I truly would advise you to be patient with yourself and no matter what you're valid : )