how to actually help people who are questioning their gender
stop saying "if you've thought about being trans for this long you must be trans! no cis person thinks about it that much."
if that were true, there would be no such thing as detransitioners/desistors. i think it is really poor advice that could be damaging. obviously there is more to being trans than thinking about it a lot. questioning your identity does not mean you are that identity, it simply means you are questioning- which is fine, many people question their gender, and definitely not all of those people come to the conclusion that they are trans. same with sexual orientation and other things. people never seem to say "well if you keep thinking you might be gay you must be! no straight person thinks about it" im not sure why the attitude is different there, maybe its just what ive seen.
i think we should help people by asking them questions so they think and reflect more about it, instead of instantly accepting them as trans when they aren't even sure that they are. questions like do you have dysphoria and what is it like, how long have you thought this and what made you start questioning, etc. are all good for example. telling them it's okay to question, don't rush into a label if you're not sure, and either way there are people here to support you, are all good as well.
i've seen this a lot in the comments of forum posts here so that's why i wanted to say this. as always, think before you give advice.
Hey @blueberrywaffles, I appreciate you for sharing your thoughts about this, it is indeed not right to offer a strong opinion -- coming off as advice without actually knowing what someone is feeling, experiencing. Always a great idea to ask open ended questions remaining polite and neutral, agree as well. 😊
@blueberrywaffles
To add something, I know there's a manifestation of OCD where a person could have obsessions about their sexual orientation or gender identity and these thoughts, images, impulses, etc. may not mean anything true at all, speaking in the simplest way possible (this may / may not be a generalization though). Seeking reassurance for this can be a form of compulsion too.
Thank you for putting this post up and sharing your thoughts! ❤️
Edit: Oh, and also, listeners are not supposed to give advice! If you think anything that comes off as advice / is advice is being said, please flag the post. We might also have an update about the advice part in the community soon.
